Enemies of Reason Poundshop potshots at the media moral maze.

Friday links 29/5/09 – get it right

Nostalgia first, and a trip back to 1983 - when Peter Bowles, of all people, was advertising scaffolder-juice Carling Black Label in his cut-glass RP, telling a man who'd recently avoided an encounter with a Su Pollard-alike that he'd 'got it right'. I don't quite know why I'm putting this here, other than it's just simply bizarre.

Speaking of getting it right, you'll remember from the other day the story of the peaceful Luton Muslim protest that accidentally got labelled as an Islamist anti-war protest that had sparked a bunch of racist thugs, whose side the Mail took, claiming they were the real ones fighting 'extremism'. 5cc has more on the story and other Mail oopsies here - it really does tear to shreds the pathetic attempts from the likes of Paul Dacre to claim that the fear of humiliation via the PCC is what keeps our journalists on the straight and narrow.

Astonishingly, Nadine Dorries is still not getting it right either - but is somehow allowed to continue as an MP by David Cameron. If he really wanted to restore the public's faith in our elected politicians he'd do the decent thing and give her the brandy and Luger - though she'd probably drink the Luger and shoot herself with the brandy. Now she says she is refusing to print comments from anyone who 'misinterprets' what she says. The cheek of it! Dorries, meanwhile, is using the 'Withdrawn!' tactic over at her blog, having now hastily taken down a post slagging off a fellow MP which was complete and utter bollocks - but, Dorries being Dorries, is steadfastly refusing to tell us the real reasons why. Perhaps because it was a crock of shit? I quote:

However, the one thing I have learnt over the last few weeks is that in the battlefield of politics, one needs to be absolutely honest AND precise. Nothing less will do.

Hahahahaha! Yes, it's Nadine Dorries saying that!

The Daily Quail profiles Nadine's boss here, with a marvellous look at how the £30m man-of-the-people is like you, only better:

Discussing his 'common man' credentials with The Times, David Cameron seemed flustered and confused, pausing for long periods to imagine what being worth less than £30m might feel like.
Asked how many properties he owns, he replied assuredly: 'I own a house in North Kensington...and my house in the constituency in Oxfordshire and that is, as far as I know, all I have.'

Adam Bienkov reports on how Boris is playing hardball with the RMT over their 5 per cent pay demand, while revealing:

Mayor of London in 2007-8
£137,579
Mayor of London in 2009
£143,911
That's a 5 per cent increase.

Ah yes, but, you see, the important thing to remember is, if the plebs get a five per cent rise, that's and will cripple the economy, but if a multimillionaire gets a five per cent rise, then that's only right and proper, isn't it?

Septicisle looks at how the Sun are dealing with the big stories of the day, including how the mother of Baby P has been committing the terrible crime of eating chocolate. Oh noes! Thank goodness for the Sun, giving us the scoop on that one!

Uponnothing reports on how a man who breaks the rules and wastes his allotment space at a time when there's a huge demand for it is being supported by the Daily Mail, because... well I can't work out the because, actually, but there you go.

Between the Hammer and the Anvil reports on Clive James's fairly shoddy journalism of late, as the saga of the poetry nonsense at Oxford rumbles on. Call me a thick prole if you like but I couldn't give a shit who's head of poetry at Oxford. I couldn't care less. All I'd like is for it not to be James, given the content of that abysmal tripe.

Meanwhile, my local paper has finally woken up to the 'Polish Spitfire' BNP story that everyone else in the country could have read, oh, months ago if they'd known where to look. Still, better late than never. And at least they got it right.

If you want to look at a real BNP fail, remind yourself of "Billy the Brit" by having a look at Tim Ireland's marvellous parody here.

Journalism to be proud of, or just wasting money on shit?

Links for Friday, then, and there's every reason to begin with the Telegraph's story about what MPs and cabinet ministers have been (entirely legitimately, it would appear) claiming off expenses.

Is this the bombshell that rips the Brown Government apart? Or just some stuff that was going to come out anyway, which hasn't broken the regulations or the law in any respect whatsoever, but which the Telegraph has obtained a little earlier than they would otherwise have done, for what appears to be £150k - or, to put it another way, easily enough money to pay five or six journalists for a year.

We do have every right to find out what MPs claim off expenses, seeing as they're public servants. But what's so bloody brilliant about getting the stuff a month or so before it would otherwise have come out? Are there genuine nasties lurking in the unredacted data, or have the Telegraph blown a fortune - a real fortune during a recession - on stuff that is neither unexpected nor particularly explosive. Who knows, perhaps over the next few days - and I'm sure the Tele will want to drag this out to create a few sales off the back of it - we'll hear of really exciting stuff.

The Telegraph's broadsheet rival The Guardian is a bit sneery about the whole affair, as of course you'd expect, but it does make an interesting point:

But lawyers said that, if claims the paper paid up to £300,000 for the information ‑ reportedly contained in a computer disk stolen from the parliamentary fees office ‑ were accurate, both the mole and the paper remained at risk of criminal prosecution.

Blimey, it's £300k now! Well, whatever - if there's even the threat of legal action then the bill for this story will be rising even higher and higher. I'm kind of torn in two by this - on the one hand it's investigative reporting, of a sort, and should be welcomed as an antidote to endless reams of celebrity shite and recycled press releases; but on the other, it's not (yet) the massive scoop it could have been, and it's a hell of a lot of money to pay for some nicked stuff that was going to be made public anyway.

Elsewhere, Tim and Dave Semple say goodbye and farewell to Derek Draper. Ah, deary me. The whole LabourList nonsense has been a complete embarrassment for Labour - and the only halfway good thing to come out of it has been the demise of Jeremy Kyle's mate. Those of a conspiracy theory mindset might be tempted to think that the only way something this appalling could have been dreamt up by Labour was by an act of deliberate sabotage and infiltration; and who knows, maybe there is something in that. But given a choice between conspiracy and incompetence, I'll always go for incompetence. I think it's simply that Labour are a total shower, badly organised, alienating those of us who are their natural supporters, and lurching ever further to the right.

Speaking of the shitness of New Labour, Septicisle has an excellent post on what Jacqui Smith's contempt for 'our masters in Brussels' means for our freedoms:

After more than a decade where the belief that if you had nothing to hide you had nothing to fear became so entrenched that almost anything, with the exception of the death penalty, was considered as a potential policy to deal with the hysteria over crime, even as crime itself fell off a cliff, sanity has finally begun to make something of a return.
Sanity however is not something that comes naturally to the Home Office under Labour.

Steel yourselves, now. The next thing you're going to see is the most appalling piece of shite ever published in a newspaper. Are you ready? Go! No, you didn't just imagine that. It was an abysmally halfway-up-the-rectum piece about how great Express owner Richard Desmond is, published in, let me see, the Express. In once sense you have to feel sorry for the poor hack who had to cobble together this sickeningly bad load of old guff to plump up the ego of a man who has done more than most to destroy the British press; but then again, no-one put a gun to their heads and made them go and work for Desmond, did they?

Angry Mob has a look behind the "Oh my god the evil NHS is killing us!" bollocks at the Mail and discovers, well what do you know, it isn't. It's especially depressing to read the complete crap aimed at the NHS from journalists who attempt to portray the actions of one or two people who get in trouble as representative of the entirety of the world's second-biggest employer, when you consider that (a) they only know about the stories in the first place because there'a a rigorous disciplinary system in place to weed out the incompetent, (b) that the occasions when it comes to light merely proves its effectiveness rather than some underlying problem of everyone who works for the NHS being shit, (c) and this is from a 'profession' of journalism with far more bad apples, whose members are not subject to the same scrutiny, where being unprofessional is not only tolerated but positively encouraged at the highest level.

Tory Troll talks about the Evening sub-Standard's "We're sorry for being shit" campaign and why one person seems to be fighting a lone battle to praise it. Who might that be? It's not... him, is it?

Sky is one of many news outlets reporting on the fact that a woman shot an elephant with a bow and arrow. Apart from hoping the stupid bitch gets gored to death the next time she goes near one, it's worth pointing out that this happened bloody years ago and isn't news at all. Note how Sky and the others have cunningly concealed this in their reports.

Ben Six reacts to Trevor Phillips's nonsensical ramblings about Britishness.

Chris Dillow blogs on democracy.

Andy Worthington talks about what Obama's doing on torture, and why he might not be the big liberal hope that many would like him to be.

The Daily Mash reports on how Joanna Lumley has taken over the British Government.

And for my fellow Bristolians, here's how your local paper might not be called the Daily Mail, but can't resist showing the true colours of its ownership when it comes to a story about completely unproven allegations about the nature of people robbing a shop - allowing a slew of 'thieving gypsy' comments as part of the debate. Nice.

That's about it for now. But there'll be more later.

Friday links list 24/4/09

Some lovely exchanges to kick off here between the BBC's Mark "Guns & Ammo" Urban and the mild-mannered assassins at Media Lens. I particularly enjoyed this:

You seem obsessed with the issue of victory and defeat. Do you think the Iraqi people care about the "prestige" of the British army in southern Iraq?

...

Your blog makes no mention of these victims of the war. We notice that one of several books by you on the military is titled "Big Boys' Rules: SAS and the Secret Struggle Against the IRA." It seems to us that you are excessively focused on the "Big Boys" and their games, and far less interested in the civilian victims of war.

A Very Public Sociologist on the ethics of debate is a nice bit of John Stuart Mill for a Friday afternoon, always welcome.

Adam Bienkov on whether Boris's bluster over being Tory leader is just a preparation for a hasty exit. People are talking about the achievements of Barack Obama's first 100 days - Boris has had 365. Any Londoners care to venture a list of achievements?

Eric the Fish on the delights that Google Ads throw up. I say 'throw up' because one of mine had the bloody BNP on it the other day, even though I've blocked them twice already. The little weasels keep using new addresses. Naughty!

Rhetorically Speaking on the crassness of the BBC giving equal weight to a complete dillon who thinks homosexuality can be cured as the entire rest of the human race, who don't. Is it what you'd call 'balance'?

Chris Dillow on cheap (and pointless) shots at hate figures from Alistair Darling and DaveCam.

BenSix on yet more thinly veiled racism about immigration at the Daily Mail. It's getting to be quite a pattern, isn't it? No wonder their readers appear to be such big fans of Nick Griffin.

If you've not seen the marvellously crazed David Starkey's audition on Question Time for a part in panto this winter as an ugly sister, then here it is. Watch and marvel at the bonkersness of it all.

A splendid Family Guy song & dance about the joys of a bag 'o weed is over here thanks to D Notice.

Here's a wonderful selection of photos taken on a night out in Cardiff. Although when you look at them you'll see it could be any town anywhere in Britain on a Friday or Saturday night... beautiful images of everyday life.

Charlie Brooker responds cheerily to a request from multi-billion-dollar publishers to nick one of his tweets for a shitty Christmas book.

And if you've got a few hours to spare, you really must try this gorgeous little whimsy. Hypnotic.

Links 27/3/9: Put that bloody light out

I don't know if there's ever been a more bum-clenchingly awful piece of television than the miserably pissweak cock-jousting drivel about blogging that was Derek Draper and Paul Staines on Andrew Neil's truly terrible politics vehicle yesterday afternoon. I can't watch it for more than 20 seconds or so before I get the urgent feeling that I need to shoot myself in the eyeballs with a paper stapler to make everything all right again. Can you? If you can, you're a better human being than me. Beau Beau D'Or has a particularly apt set of closing credits.

In one sense it's depressing that out of all the decent, intelligent, insightful bloggers out there, that it's the likes of Staines and Draper who manage to represent the medium. As I said yesterday, they represent blogging like John Wayne Gacy represents children's entertainers. Justin has a particularly withering attack on the self-important pair of preening boys - and has also threatened to quit blogging if Iain Dale wins the Orwell Prize. Which is highly understandable, given that Dale isn't very good either. Another reason out of the many million that already exist to hope Dale doesn't win.

Tim Ireland, meanwhile, wonders why Guido's promised document that proves that Downing Street have a 'get Iain Dale' policy hasn't materialised. I mean, you'd think the most self important blogger in the entire world, if he had such a document, would make it a available. Wouldn't he? And if not, why not?

Dale, Staines, Draper. Good god. Is that really what British political blogging's all about? Well thankfully not. I'm a bit more sanguine about things. That trio of turds is only what the MSM think blogging is all about. And they're entirely wrong. But then that's because they don't understand, they don't want to understand and they're never going to understand. And that's pretty much fine by me. They can carry on with their illiterate reading of new media as much as they want; I can find good blogs and other sources without having to ask their permission first. So let's have a look at some good stuff on the internet that (a) doesn't link to anything by John "different kinds of rape" Redwood and (b) doesn't have a picture of Alaistair Campbell's face anywhere near it.

First up is Adam Bienkov with a wonderful story about our old friend Andrew Gilligan preparing a hatchet job on a youth community organisation, only then to discover his plans completely and utterly blown out of the water when he went to see it himself. At least I hope they were blown out of the water - if he actually went on to try and slate the organisation, he'd be onto a hiding for nothing. Not that that's stopped him before, naturally.

Blogging the Mail looks at Stephen Glover, who writes such a slurry of execrable pish about the "I predict a riot" meme heading towards G20 and an expected "summer of discontent" that it's hard to believe he even agrees himself with what he's writing. Bonus points for Glover for claiming that chucking a stone at someone's window is the same as a Jihad. Oh yes, he actually says that. Can we try and shoehorn in some "anti-capitalist Taliban" references before the G20 kicks off? Please? I'm looking forward to it.

On the same subject, blogger Dungeekin also looks ahead to what might or might not happen this summer, and what it means. It's a fairly bleak analysis and I hope that it's wrong, though whether it is or not we'll just have to wait and see. I think it's probably true that ordinary folk who are fed up with the Government, or greed, or the destruction of civil liberties, and who want to protest about it, will simply be lumped in with 'anti-capitalism' and 'anarchy' just become part of some evil leftist plot.

The Quail has a good slant on the press's attitude towards rape, and how women are automatically assumed to be making it up or on the lookout for a compo payout. Because going through the ordeal of court testimony - under anonymity or not - is a right old picnic, isn't it? It's worth making the additional point that there are dozens of rape cases that take place all over the country every week, which are never covered by the papers (except the Daily Sport, and unfortunately that's for rather more sinister reasons that crime reportage). "Man rapes woman" isn't seen as being news. "Woman falsely cries rape" is a better story, and taps into an agenda that lurks not far below the surface. And remember Peter Hitchens, John Redwood and chums, and how they're not convinced that all rapes are necessarily as bad as each other. They're the voices in the media you hear about rape, not those of victim, or even women, come to think about it.

Here's an interesting blog. It's a guy who's decided to abandon the mainstream media, having seen so many cuts at the newspaper where he worked, and who's now setting up a nonprofit media organisation to serve the community. I really hope he manages to succeed in the venture and I think it'll be worth monitoring progress to see how he and his colleagues get on with it. It could be something you see coming to this country soon.

The Daily Mash has a nice feature on GCSEs and thick kids - sometimes it's hard to see where the tabloids stop and the satire begins. I'm reminded of the time a US commenter on Photoshop Disasters thought that the Daily Mail was "a bit like The Onion". Ah, if only.

Have a look at Norman Strike's blog, now we're in the 25th anniversary of the miners' strike. Plenty to enjoy there for a real bit of history.

The Lancet has slagged off Il Papa, which can only be a good thing, given that the mad old fool was talking utter lying shit.

Chris Dillow on whether the market really has given a damning verdict on Gordon Brown or not.

Nelson Valdes on how, when it comes to Cuba, any sort of nonsense can be put out by the media. And how it gets recycled, unchecked, by thousands of other news organisations as soon as it's out there.

Finally, if you haven't seen anything on it already, have a look at the WWF's Earth Hour event - and why not put that bloody light out tomorrow evening? Go on, you can watch Casualty in the dark.

Friday links 20/3/9

Graham Linehan says there could be an apology in the offing over the Sunday Express Dunblane debacle. They've held out for a long time but it looks like they might finally be about to crumble. Which is good news. But we'll see if there's any assurance this is genuinely regretted, rather than contrition through gritted teeth at having been caught out and the issue having been kept alive by 'mass bloggers'. I hope there is some genuine sorrow about something so shoddy.

On related matters, Tim Ireland is politely asking Paula Murray's friends why they're so upset about having their faces on the internet:

Vague signals that may or may not mean "I only care about myself" don't count; if you're going to be a selfish hypocrite about it, just say so, and I'll happily sort it right out. Seriously. Tell me on what grounds you want the relevant image(s) removed, and I will most likely remove it/them, regardless of what you say.
Doing things in this way at least gives me a chance of determining if innocent victims are involved, or if I've merely inconvenienced a bunch of self-centred wankers.

Which seems fair enough, doesn't it?

Justin reminds us it's six years since 'shock and awe' brought death and destruction to Iraq.

Relatedly, Craig Murray will address the Joint Committee on Human Rights. He will talk about Jack Straw. And this country's support for torture. Murray says:

It is likely that I will face hostile questioning from government supporters and from "War on Terror" hawks. In the past the government has accused me of corruption, sexual blackmail, and alcoholism (all completely untrue) and hinted that I am insane, in an effort to deflect attention from the cold facts of my testimony.

Going off at a tangent a bit, I wonder what the new caring/sharing Alastair Campbell would make of such things? I'm sure as someone who now claims to care about mental health issues he'd be devastated to learn of someone in the public eye being smeared in such a way - it reminds me of a previous occasion when a person who was thrust into the media spotlight was described as being a 'Walter Mitty figure'. Remember that?

Septicisle looks at the crumbs of comfort to be had from Barclays' legal win over the Guardian newspaper. Of course all the stuff is on Wikileaks if you want to find it (I don't think it's a good idea to link, but I'm sure you're all clever people) but that's not good enough - people are allowed to avoid tax, get away with it, and use the money they've saved through their dishonesty and unethical behaviour to prevent details of it from going public. Surely this isn't a good thing, is it? Is that really what we want from our justice system, to protect tax avoiders?

Speaking of tax avoiders, Dave Marsh is sad to report that Bono isn't going to be engaging in a debate with him. That's a pity, because it would have been fun. It might have been a bit of a one-sided fight, but it would have been fun.

Alone in the Dark looks at a truly baffling piece from Keith Waterhouse. Is it me or are these fantastically remunerated columnists looking less and less relevant as time goes on? It's not just the Mail, although they have more than their fair share - Littlejohn, Phillips, Hitchens P, Hastings, Jones, Pearson - but I think the time has come for journalists to stop looking down their snotty little beaks at bloggers and imagining that there's some inner circle of genius that allows them to weave their voodoo to bemuse and delight the plebs. It's nonsense. The pros aren't often much better or worse than the rest of us. They've got more time to consider their pieces - dare I say research them? - but all too often it just seems like they're tossing off a couple of hundred words in between yawns.

Angry Mob, meanwhile, looks at this:

On the 3rd March Lucy Elkin produced a two-page spread entitled: Why can't we love our bodies? Nine women reveal how they REALLY feel about their figures.

compared with this:

As she made an entrance on a swing at the weekend, the pop princess seemed unconcerned about the danger of being seen from an unflattering angle.
It was a stark contrast to the opening night of the tour when she showed off an enviably toned stomach.

And finally there's this from Peter Roebuck about the future of cricket, which I read a few days ago but which I forgot about entirely. It's one of the better articles about sport I've read in a while, rather thoughtful, so it deserves an outing. A good quote is here:

Till a notably cosmopolitan Sri Lankan team was attacked as they made their way to the ground in Pakistan, progressives had not understood how much offence they had given. How they celebrated when Graeme Smith embraced Makhaya Ntini at the SCG. How we rejoiced when a Muslim was invited to captain India, a black man put in charge of West Indies, and a Tamil hero worshipped in Sri Lanka! West Indies nowadays contains a white man and several players of Indian extraction. England fields several players of Asian and African extraction. Things seemed to be going in the right direction. To the warped, cricket's success was unacceptable. It had to be punished.

It makes you proud

Please can we get the new improved caring sharing Alastair Campbell on the telly tonight to explain his extraordinarily nasty tirades against everyone in the world in the aftermath of the Hutton Report? In the light of new evidence, it seems he knew all along that there were grave concerns about the 'sexing-up' of the dodgy dossier. How strange he's not mentioned that all along. If only the journalist who'd broken the story in the first place had been more skilful than Andrew Gilligan, a better case would have been made at the time. Ah well.

Another thing to make you proud to be British: Binyam Mohamed's torture. For now we just have the weasel words of "Ooh, we don't believe in torture, must've been a mistake or something" and the hope that something else will knock it off the headlines. The US whisperers, meanwhile, say Mohamed has a history of making unsubstantiated claims. That reminds me of something... does it remind you of something? Calling Dr David Kelly "a Walter Mitty figure"...? Trying to anonymously discredit these people from the sidelines?

In other patriotism news, David Semple gets harangued by a nutcase over St George's Day. Hey, it's not long to go now until we get the first sighting of "Now we BAN St George's Day for fear of upsetting MUSLIMS" stories in the tabloids. Can't wait! Keep em peeled for those.

Alone in the Dark examines the Mail's attacks on Max Mosley and how Stephen Glover glosses over the rather obvious comparison between Max and Jonathan Harmsworth, owner of the Daily Mail, whose own father was a big fan of Hitler too. There are also rather chilling comparisons between the facist writings of Mosley and the modern-day Mail's outpourings.

And finally, Jaime looks at how the Cadbury's Caramel Bunny has been transformed for the Nuts and Zoo generation.

Links 6/3/9

Some links for this week, then.

Lenin on the limitations of 'humanitarian intervention' as witnessed by the pointlessness of indicting Omar Hassan Al-Bashir.

Justin on the deportation of Child M and what it says about Gordon Brown's much-trumpeted 'fairness'.

David Neiwert looks at the links between extreme right-wing rhetoric and violence against minorities.

Septicisle on the 'complete and utter fuck-up' surrounding the unpunished police killing of James Ashley, and the lessons which still haven't been learned from it.

John Pilger on the erosion of freedom in Britain.

And on that theme, here's the truly bizarre story of a man arrested for (not even) taking photos of a sewer grate. Really? Really.

I'll hope to kick some stuff off over at the all-new singing and dancing Mailwatch later, and there'll be a bit more of the usual sweary nonsense here in a bit as well.

Friday links 27/2/09: Watch this if you can

Go on, watch it. Try it. Watch it all the way through. Can you do it? Can you? No? Of course not. Sure, we've all tried to watch it, but there comes that point about 5 seconds in where the buttock-clenching awfulness of it seeps into your internal organs and you feel a desperate need to throw your computer out of the window. Either that or turn the bloody thing off, so I turned it off. Unfortunately, the stilted nonsense is transcribed below in all its miserable shitness.
For a bit of light relief after that, let's talk about torture. Chicken Yoghurt examines the scarily disturbed individual that is Donald Rumsfeld. Will he ever be indicted? No, he'll be dead sooner than that, I'm afraid.
Septicisle looks at the latest bit of old cobblers circulating about 'British Muslims' attacking 'our boys'. One point which might be well worth making - do these 'British Muslims' even count as British under the James Slack criteria? I'm guessing they don't.
The Quail makes fun of what I assumed at first to be a Chris Morris-style spoof story. Worth saying, perhaps, that the man in question hasn't been convicted of anything - he's just a suspect. Not that that's stopped our friends at the Mail from going "Urgh! A radioactive paedo!"
In the light of U2's taxpayer-funded willy-waving over at the BBC, it's worth remembering that Bono doesn't like paying tax at all, if he can help it.
Johann Hari looks at Clint Eastwood's career from the far-right vigilantism of Dirty Harry to his latest effort, Gran Torino. I'm seeing it tonight so I haven't read all the way through this for fear of spoiling the plot.
Eric reports on an epic BNP fail - they've used a Spitfire in promotional material for forthcoming European elections. But the Spitfire in question is Polish. Doh!
The Bleeding Heart Show has a measured look at welfare and whether New Labour has done enough to eradicate poverty.
Lenin and Mutantblog both look at the problematic approach of attempting to justify 'British jobs for British workers', from the trade union movement and the Labour party.