A day with the Daily Mail
March 18, 2010: After a self-imposed exile from the Daily Mail and all its attendant delights, trying to avoid it but constantly being thwarted (and developing cabin fever at the same time), I decided to confront my nemesis and take a long, hard look at the dead tree version to enjoy the feel of having something so wondrous right in front of me, in my very hands. This is what happened.
Here goes: Me and my monkey get ready for the exciting task ahead.
Part 1: Bin there, done that - Hang on, it's a non-white face in Dead White Woman corner! But don't worry, the Taxpayers Alliance turn up to make everything all right again.
Part 2: Ad nauseum - look, a fucking massive mobile phone! And a way to reduce dampness. You can learn a lot about the demographic of readers by looking at the ads.
Part 3: Columnists - Quentin Letts and Liz Jones. Somehow even more unappealing in print than they are online. I wonder if Liz Jones is just a comedy character.
Part 4: Baffling - Jonathan Cainer's baroque horoscopes.
Part 5: Blooming cheek - I never did send off for those flowers.
Part 6: Cartoons - Disappointing line drawings to complement the disappointing words.
Part 7: Letters - The Mail readership laid bare in Straight To The Point. If you thought people who comment underneath articles were bad, you haven't seen anything yet...
Part 8: Can't be fucked to Google it - Want to find something out, but don't know how to use the so-called Internetwork? Write in to the Mail and satisfy that curiosity!
Part 9: Here's the bit I liked most - Never let it be said that the Daily Mail is entirely without merit. There are occasional treats in there, and here's one of them.
Part 10: And...? - I've never understood diary columns. Those people who slate blogs as being 'chatter' or 'babble' have clearly never read these banalities.
Part 11: Foreigns - Worried about foreigners? Have those fears confirmed in your favourite daily paper.
Part 12: Women! - Delving into 'Femail' and wondering why on earth the Mail has such a high readership among women.
Part 13: The end - Saying goodbye to the last ever copy of the Mail I will ever buy.
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Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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September 27th, 2010 - 17:17
My grandparents buy the Mail everyday – it supports their racism towards funny foreigners/nignogs/darkies.. but they are in their 90s so it won’t be for much longer.
Dad also buys it (which irritates me) despite being pretty left wing because he likes the sudoku… I’m working on him.
November 30th, 2010 - 12:33
The Daily Heil inhabits a parallel reality where verifiable fact is replaced with opinions which will fit the prejudices of its intended readership. This is why it’s so maddening to read.
The “paper” and its readers live in a symbiotic relationship. The Mail whips up the readers telling them everything that’s wrong in their lives is the fault of “the others” and not because of their readers’ lack of ability or intelligence. The Mail then prospers from eating the bile exuded from its aggravated readership.
It is better described as an affliction than as a newspaper.
I prescribe fire, and plenty of it.
December 23rd, 2010 - 15:44
I see it as extreme right-wing propaganda, akin to a BNP leaflet.
June 10th, 2011 - 17:10
Absolutely Will. They are v manipulative tho’ ,they’ll ‘cover’ the odd ‘anti-racist story so that they appear balanced, even tho’ they’re core readers wont appreciate it and would feel let down!
January 2nd, 2011 - 17:14
Chill ! (says he, adopting an imagined street vernacular..) Perversely, the DM makes me rather proud to be British, in the sense that normal people (I think the Mail has ca. 1m readers), can read such tawdry rubbish and still remain largely decent, balanced, and seemingly unaffected by attempts to dogmatize every aspect of life in the UK. I don´t really buy into this notion that the media barons hold sway over people´s minds. As a callow youth, I bought the Mail for the cricket coverage and got my political poisons elsewhere.
I think the vast majority of their readership take my view of the newsprint in this country; it really doesn´t matter what the editorials huff and puff about, because it is all still fish and chip wrapping – in waiting.
Anyway, must rush. I´m off to buy some henna and a slim folio of Christina Rosetti.
May 13th, 2012 - 02:13
I tend to agree…unless it’s abotu the EU, in which case, the British public have had years of lapping up rubbish to become anti. I’m not anti. I’ve enjoyed politics from a young age, studied at A level and am still not anti.
June 10th, 2011 - 16:57
As a British Indian I feel that the hysteria the Daily Maul often whips up against immigrants is leading to so much disharmony in an already fractured island that there should be a court order banning the publishing of the tosh they write. It is journalism at its worst and panders to right wing ignoramuses.
Although I realise that there are issues around immigration, and i have many concerns regarding this matter as well, it needs to be discussed in a sensible way instead of the puerile rabble rousing frenzy the DM delight in – they know their readership will always oblige………what they dont seem to understand(or they prob do, just dont give a toss!) is that law abiding, well mannered people like myself get further abuse, as do my children on a daily basis because of the hatred they like to spread.
May 13th, 2012 - 02:30
Here here. Thank you for bringing this to attention. I am Caucasian (but I look more mediterranean Caucasian, that’s probably from my Irish ancestry, and recently I’ve wondered if that’s why I get a harder time at UK border control). I am with you. The DM also is often racist as well as anti-immigration. So people who were born here can be seen as immigrants as well.
I am fine with immigration on many levels.
I’m really sorry that you and your children receive abuse. That’s awful. I don’t know why Britain is going to the dogs. This isn’t what any European country is about. We are slowly moving toward US standards and it’s depressing.