Stranger to the seasons
A great poet* once wrote "A man without a job is a stranger to the seasons." And I can see that. One day blurs into another, and one week blurs into another; if you keep the curtains closed, you don't even have to be troubled by the other human beings outside. Days and weeks pass by, without any significant change. The rejection emails stack up; it's got to the stage where I'm getting rejections for jobs I can't even remember having applied for.
Ah well. Let the phone ring: one thing you learn early on is that nothing good ever comes from phone calls during the day; it's not someone trying to give you a job or help you out - it's someone who wants your money. Everyone wants your money when you're unemployed. You're bombarded by daytime TV telling you to blow it all by playing online bingo, or try and get some more by claiming for an accident you haven't had. All the adverts merge into one, too. Soon there will be people combining online bingo and accident claims in one handy website; play bingo while you're waiting for the compo for that broken leg. And slip off into the usual trance, the usual distractions that keep you from achieving whatever it is you want.
I don't want to sound depressing, but there it is. There's no point in me pretending this is fun, because it isn't. I'm sure you could do better, if you were me. You'd have found something by now, got on your bike, off your arse, and done everything I haven't done; I can sense the disapproval, the probably not misplaced cynicism. But it's not as if I haven't been trying. Applying for jobs nowadays is a tortuously long process, as I've said before, and can't be speeded up: if you want to do a decent job on each application, which requires you to enter your name, grades, ethnic origin and membership of professional bodies (whatever that's supposed to mean) over and over again, as well as spinning your straw into gold in the personal statement section, it takes time.
It's like having a job, but without the money. Or the job.
Anyway, Christmas temping work is the latest wheeze to distract me. I've applied for as much as I can find, but I'm not entirely hopeful, I'm afraid. There are many, many people round here who've been recently made redundant in retail, who are probably better placed than me to fill those vacancies; still, I put the applications in, and should I get called to interview I'll try to display my desperation as enthusiasm. Long gone are the days when I was optimistic about applying for positions whose adverts contained words like "commensurate". Now I just want a fucking job.
I haven't been standing still. I have a plan, though it may take some time: I want to do a PGCE, to teach in a primary school. I've done some weeks of experience, and I've loved it. In four weeks of working in schools I've felt happier than in 12 years of journalism; I don't feel like I'm winging it, or somehow deceiving everyone, or that I'll be found out as a fraud at any moment - I feel like I can do this, in time. It's not easy, and I have every respect for those people who do the job, which is demanding and challenging. But it feels like the right thing to do, and something that I can be good at. I guess you either know or you don't. So we'll see. I'm doing everything I can to succeed there.
In the meantime, I'd just like a job. Any job. Anything. Anywhere. Something I can do. Get me out of the house. Give me the watercoolers or the freezing cold warehouses. Give me the office banter and the canteen. Give me people. People, and life, and the feeling of being part of something, of doing something worthwhile, something that matters. Give me back the seasons. I miss them.
* Ralph McTell
No related posts.
Buy my book, it’s great
Switch site
Donate
Recent Posts
- The power of publicity
- Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio…
- Children died
- The letters you never get around to sending
- Applying again
Most Commented On
Recent Comments
- emmaspen on Children died
- emma on The letters you never get around to sending
- Iain on Applying again
- Roger on The letters you never get around to sending
- Dave Hodgkinson on The letters you never get around to sending
About Me
Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
If you're struggling to read the site please use the drop down box below to increase the text size.
October 9th, 2011 - 09:54
You’re getting rejection letters!! Most of the jobs I apply for are ‘we can only reply to shortlisted candidates, if you do not her from us within x weeks of the deadline, please assume that your application has not been shortlisted’ etc
I’ve been unemployed for several months, and had often thought about teaching but was always warned how stressful it is.
October 9th, 2011 - 11:16
I can totally relate to what you wrote above… I had 5 months without a job last year, and looking back, that’s exactly how I felt.. but it is worth getting off your arse and doing something, you just don’t realise that it is worth it until you do…!
October 9th, 2011 - 13:57
I wish there was some clever comment I could write which makes it all much more bearable, but there isn’t. And I’m fearful that writing “you hang in there, it will all come good” just reads like a load of empty, patronising shite. All I can say is that I know exactly what you’re going through and it takes a strong mind to see beyond it. Keep making plans, speaking with people, visiting places, leaving calling cards, revising plans, scouring local businesses, checking the local gyms (believe it or not). You’re absolutely right – looking for a job is a full-time, unpaid, fucking hard job in its own right. Since it’s thrust upon you, you might as well throw yourself into it and use it to stay sharp and even have fun with it. Leave the daytime television off, it’s for other people, not you.
October 9th, 2011 - 15:42
Really pleased that you’d like to chase up the PGCE; it’s absolutely awful being unemployed, and if you can have a light at the end of the tunnel, I couldn’t be happier for you. Well, OK, if you found a job, I’d obviously be happier, but there you go.
Your blog’s always been excellent – you’re clearly a great writer, knowledgeable, ethical (continue ad nauseam), and it’s a genuine shame seeing you being tossed onto the bottom of the proverbial pile for so long. Hope things sort themselves out. Teaching’s one of the professions I respect without qualification.
October 9th, 2011 - 15:47
Go into teaching if you enjoy it, but be aware it is hard, often thankless, poorly paid and makes you the butt of every ignoramus who ever heard the line ‘those who can do…’
On the plus side, a good class, receptive young minds and a good lesson feels like dancing in the sunlight. And the knowledge that whatever you do in the classroom, it counts. You will be making a difference. Good luck to you, go for it.
October 9th, 2011 - 15:49
Good on you. If you have any questions about PGCE/ preparation/ the interview process, then tweet me (@AliB68) or email.
October 9th, 2011 - 22:21
I really enjoyed this post. Well, ‘enjoyed’ is probably the wrong word, try ‘heavily related to’. I’m freelance at the moment but young, pretty new to it and recovering from a bereavement, so my earnings are very meagre and the quiet times which fit what you describe outnumber the busy times. It’s great to hear you’re enjoying teaching so much – I went down that road, doing part-time one-to-one learning support work in schools, and found it similarly rewarding, but unfortunately my dyspraxia isn’t very conducive to whole-class teaching, and formal qualifications which allow you to earn a living wage from individual tutoring are prohibitively expensive unless you’re already a qualified teacher, so it’s a poverty trap. It’d be lovely to think there was something else I was really good at that’s in reasonable demand, but somehow, all roads lead back to journalism – it’s like a toxic love-hate relationship I simply can’t escape. I wish I could offer practical advice, but that’d be like taking kung-fu lessons from Joe Pasquale – all I can say is, I empathise. I wrote this in a similar vein the other day:
http://shakeandcrawl.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/austerity-bingo-for-young-freelancers/
October 10th, 2011 - 13:34
You’ve probably thought of this, but Royal Mail employ huge numbers of people in their sorting offices at Christmas. I did it last year, and while it is very boring, it’s six weeks or so of full time work which you don’t need any qualifications or experience for. You can apply on their website. Good luck.
October 11th, 2011 - 13:54
Thanks, I’ve already applied to Royal Mail. Have heard nothing back.
October 10th, 2011 - 13:49
Good luck with the PGCE, I genuinely hope it works out for you, great to hear you’re enthusiastic about it and can see yourself doing it.
I tweeted you an article about a different approach to work, no idea if it will resonate with you, or will be of any interest. The important thing is I’ve never met you and I thought about you when I read it.
October 11th, 2011 - 13:06
Good post and reminds me of a few posts I have written on theemployable.com blog…. motivation when you are inbetween jobs is tough going if you dont have focus…
October 11th, 2011 - 23:56
Have you thought about volunteering? I can’t recommend it enough as it has helped me get back on my feet after a lengthy bout of ill health and keeps me sane while I look for ‘proper’ work. Schools take on volunteer teaching assistants but there are loads of other places crying out for volunteers. Not only does it keep me “off the streets” but makes me feel like I’m contributing something that is worthwhile.
October 12th, 2011 - 13:46
I’m a school governor. There are few people I respect more than the teachers I know through school. Ignore the snarky comments, and the ‘worst is the norm’ generalisations and go for it. I think most of the teachers I know consider it ‘the best job in the world’.
October 12th, 2011 - 14:27
Great to hear your plans for a PGCE. There really aren’t enough male teachers at primary level. Because, obviously*, any man that wants to be within five miles of a child is teh paedos!
*if you’re the Mail or a Scottish shopping centre…
October 13th, 2011 - 16:49
I remember a quote from Ecclesiastes I read on the cassette of The Lonesome Jubilee by John Cougar Mellencamp (I know, biblical references on 80s albums, how cheesy?) when I was a teen and its stuck with me for its good sense.
“Generations come and go but it makes no difference – everything is unutterably weary and tiresome. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. … So I saw that there is nothing better for men than that they should be happy in their work, for that is what they are here for, and no one can bring them back to life to enjoy what will be in the future, so let them enjoy it now.”
Good luck with the ongoing hunt and the teaching course Steve
October 13th, 2011 - 19:30
Keep your chin up Steve.
You, i and millions like us can’t give in (even though at times it seems to be the easier option).
Don’t let the b*stards get you down!
October 14th, 2011 - 16:24
I’m in full agreement about the horrors of job hunting, on top of the stigma of being a ‘lazy, feckless leech on society’ the day after you’ve cleared your desk out.
It’s worse when you’ve got a decent CV and yet they demand you fill out their application forms, it’s pretty soul destroying writing answer the same old questions over and over, knowing they’ll probably take the top ten off the pile and ditch the rest without looking.
I did however find a volunteer space in an adult education centre, helping people learn PC basics, and I found it so good finally be both appreciated, and just seeing the joy of discovery in people as they sent their first email to a distant friend or family member without help.
I agree teachers get a bad rep, but then there were a couple of bloody awful ones at my school, and the bad stuff tends to stick in the mind a little more, I suspect.
all I can say for now is good luck, if anything you deserve a regular column in a non wanky paper or magazine, but for now I just hope you find a place working anywhere that won’t drive you nuts.
October 15th, 2011 - 22:26
I teach at a private FE college. Great fun, and (it being private), teaching quals are less highly valued than knowledge and ability – I never did a PGCE, although I do have a PTLLS certificate, which makes me the second highest qualified person on the staff. I have to live with working for a private educational institution, but the benefits far outweigh my morals. We’re not hiring trainers at present (although maybe in the new year…), but if and when we are, I’ll send you a link if you’d be interested (obviously, FE is a long way from primary, so no worries if not). In the meantime, search out some similar colleges local to you, and check their websites regularly: these places have a habit of very quietly advertising their vacancies, leading to much nepotism through lack of imagination.
October 17th, 2011 - 16:28
Hey Steve, I’m a recent Journalism Graduate and I just found your blog today – it’s easily one of the best sites on the web, and I wish now that I used some of it in my 4th year dissertation on the PCC and collapsing standards in the press.
Just want to say, this article sums up everything I’ve experienced – I graduated with a 2.1 honours degree in July and I’m not employed in Journalism at all. I’ve been applying for 6 months or so to different things, and all you get i s standardised rejection letters/emails if they apply at all. I really don’t want to fall into the trap of working in PR/Recruitment or Sales either. It doesn’t help that I live in North East Scotland and having to travel to Glasgow or Edinburgh where the jobs are for interviews and ‘rigorous selection processes’ doesn’t feel worth it if it comes to nothing.
If someone like you with 12 years or so experience is having trouble finding work then it’s going to be even more difficult for me. I am lucky enough (and it is lucky) to have a permanent job at Tesco but noone wants to grow up to be in fucking retail. I’m also waiting to hear back from a second job at a local museum.
Your article has been really good in highlighting how important it is to keep trying, and you talking about branching out into teaching has flickered something in my brain – thanks for that.
The whole ‘stranger to the seasons’ thing really struck a chord with me too, despite having a part time job – the weeks just flash past with breaks for seeing the girlfriend or going out to get drunk at the weekends.