Single mothers, obviously. With a slight whiff of 'of course, that lot don't have dads around, do they?' Grand Theft Auto. Kids don't understand the difference between video games and real life nowadays! Twitter. For allowing people to communicate with each other. And because people on Twitter were nasty about this lovely newspaper when we had our slight little tiny problems a couple of weeks ago (which thankfully everyone's forgotten about now!) The Left. Everyone on the Left, especially people who might have protested about things in the past. Not just the Left, but particularly the Left. Which brings me to UKUncut. Because they use Twitter, and rioters used Twitter, therefore they're exactly the same. Am I embarrassing myself? No no, I really haven't even started. The PC Brigade of course. For letting people have PC views about things, that means we can't even beat our kids to a meaty pulp nowadays - you just have to sit back and let them riot rather than do anything about it; there really is literally nothing you can do nowadays. We're helpless because of the namby-pamby nanny state mollycoddling these feral youths, which is why people smash up shops and set fire to things, because we weren't violent enough to them in the first place. Not having enough water cannon. Yes, water cannon. Mmm, water cannon. A great big hose to spray those nasty young boys with. That'll work. That'll make everything all right. Sure, these disturbances are over wide areas and it might appear at first that it wouldn't make any difference, but it sounds like something worth doing, doesn't it? And we might see some of these peasants getting sprayed headfirst through a shop window live on Sky News, so that'd be great to watch, while slowly masturbating, wouldn't it? Actually, shoot them. Shoot them all. Shoot them on sight. Shoot anyone. Shoot everyone. Bring in the army and shoot everyone. Shoot everyone. Shoot them now, and then it'll be all right. That will make everything better. It's not as if this all began with someone being shot, is it? Can't see any problems whatsoever if we just start shooting people on sight, and asking questions later. That'll be fine.