July 28, 1924
The Office for National Statistics has released this year's 'most popular boys' names' list - but due to a SECRET politically correct CONSPIRACY by the namby-pamby soi-disant liberal-left diversity brigade, they have SPLIT UP names so they don't appear as popular as they really are - MASKING the TRUE EXTENT of the Government's 'OPEN DOOR' policy on Freds.
At number 15 is the name FREDERICK. But look! Look at what they've done! In order to stop it being the most popular name, and revealing the MASSIVE INFLUX OF FREDS INTO THIS COUNTRY, they have decided to say that "Fred" is a SEPARATE NAME and listed it at number 68 as well! But it doesn't stop there! Alfred, WHICH CAN ALSO BE SHORTENED TO FRED, is at number 32! And WILFRED is at 60!
"Clearly," said a spokesman for the making up the same load of shit every single fucking year, "this is a secret Government plot to ensure that in eighty-odd years' time, when there are variant spellings of Mohammed, they will be counted as SEPARATE NAMES AS WELL, just to appease the PC Brigade!"
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