Enemies of Reason Poundshop potshots at the media moral maze.

27Mar/1112

PETE’S LOVE CHILDS


What?

PETER Andre

Oh, him.

got to grips with busty Essex girl Amy Childs

Who?

on a boozy night out.

But... do you see? PETE'S LOVE CHILDS. Eh? Haha. It makes it look like he's got love childs, children, oh this doesn't work properly, LOVE CHILD...S, do you get it?, see?, love... child...s, isn't it? LOVE CHILDS. LIKE LOVE CHILDREN. DO YOU GET IT? LIKE A LOVE CHILD. BUT SHE'S CALLED CHILDS SO IT DOESN'T QUITE WORK PROPERLY. LOVE CHILDS. DO YOU SEE? LOVE CHILDS. LOVE CHILDS. LOVE CHILDS. LOVE CHILDS. LOVE CHILDS. KEEP SAYING IT AND IT'LL MAKE MORE SENSE. LOVE CHILDS. Yes? Love Childs. Pete's Love Childs. What? Wait, Pete's love Childs? Pete's what, why?

Yes. Love childs. Love Childs. Pete's love Childs. Pete's love Childs. Pete's love Childs. Pete's... love Childs. No, Pete... loves Childs. Yes, that's the one that would make sense, but that doesn't make any sense. PETE'S LOVE CHILDS. Pete's love childs. No, Pete's Love Childs. No, Pete's love Childs. Right? Pete's love Childs. Pete's love Childs. PETE'S LOVE CHILDS. PETE LOVES CHILDS. Aha! But no. Those aren't the words on the page. PETE'S LOVE CHILDS. PETE'S LOVE CHILDS. Keep saying it, and soon it'll make sense. The more you look at it, the better it gets. PETE'S LOVE CHILDS. Pete's... love childs. Children. Childs. Childs, it's her name, Childs. See, she's called Childs, so he, well, he doesn't love her, but he stood next to her in a nightclub in Essex, and so he loves her, a bit, or he's been in the same photograph, and LOVE CHILDS. BUT PETE'S LOVE CHILDS. Pete, that's him, possesses 'Love Childs', which as we all know is the nickname for busty Essex girl Amy Childs, isn't it? That's what they're calling her all the time on ITV2+1, isn't it? You know, the programme may as well be called LOVE CHILDS, mightn't it?

PETE'S LOVE CHILDS.

Meanwhile,

Meanwhile Jordan was due at Alton Towers yesterday with pals for a VIP weekend.

PETE'S LOVE CHILDS. Make it go away. Make it go away now.

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Comments (12) Trackbacks (1)
  1. Great. That’s stuck in my head now.

  2. Love it. Or should that be ‘Loves it’?

  3. Also, man looks at woman’s arse!

  4. Love… Childs…

    What the fuck?

    Dear god. I’ve never, ever seen a more diabolically shit headline than that.

    Here, listen to some nice music to take your mind off it:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IluVWcNtR8

  5. Steve, I feel it.

    Nell, I’m almost tempted to say “Love’s it”.

  6. Like a pear cider made from a hundred percent pear.

  7. It kind of works if you read it as ‘Pete’s love: Childs.’

    But that still isn’t what they printed.

  8. These tabloid people are in hell. Do not seek join them there!

  9. Shouldn’t it be
    Pete Loves Childs? Or would some misinterpret it to Children?

  10. In years to come, people will come to this very page looking to ascertain what Richard Desmond’s Daily Star Actually wrote about before it became nothing but a promotional vehicle for Richard Desmond’s Big Brother on Richard Desmond’s Channel 5.

    As you can see, my as-yet unmet friends from the future, it has always been shit.

  11. I think they were going for “Pete’s love, Childs” but they left out the comma.


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