The name thing
So, there we are then. It's been a long process but I've finally decided to change everything - I am no longer Anton Vowl at all. Not here, not on Twitter (I am @stebax), not anywhere. It's all finished. Anton Vowl can go and join the other fictional characters* and I can finally step out of the shadow a little bit more.
I don't know how that makes me feel, really. I feel a couple of things. I feel relieved that it's done; but a bit sad that it's finished. It's been a big part of my life, writing under another name, and now I feel the time is right to say that I really enjoyed that, but that I'd rather be writing under my own name now. It may seem completely insignificant to everyone but me; or you might be horrified that I've decided to change - I just don't know. But it's something that needed to be done. There was something difficult about keeping a duality of personality, like it was two different people. I'd rather it wasn't. I'm happy to be me.
There are a couple of reasons. First, and most importantly, Steven Baxter is the name my parents gave to me and the name I've lived with all my life. It's important because that's how the people I love and care about know me best. I am proud of where I came from and the family I have. And secondly, as a writer or someone who dreams of being a writer, you do dream of your name being put to something; you do hope that you'll be able to tie your words to yourself. It's a bit daunting, if a lot of people read them, but the excitement is there too.
So this is me. This is who I am. The flawed, irritating, irascible, depressive, difficult, tetchy person who writes these things is called Steven, not Anton; if you didn't know that already, well, here it is. I take ownership of all the things Anton Vowl ever wrote, all the mistakes he made, all the things he did wrong - and sometimes did well, too. It's time to do that, to write without fear, to just be myself.
Which isn't to say that pseudonyms are necessarily wrong, or a bad thing, because they can be very useful for writers, and I can completely understand why a lot of bloggers do it. I'm not better than anyone else simply because I'm using my own name. It's just something that I did because it's important to me to do it - that's all.
So, hello, anyway, if you didn't know already. We'll be fine.
* I was at a Flight of the Conchords gig last year, and someone in the audience shouted out "Where's Murray?", to which the reply came "He's off with the other fictional characters tonight, having a brontosaurus steak with Fred Flintstone."
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About Me
Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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March 5th, 2011 - 11:23
To quote Corporal Perkins, I must admire yer balls (Y)
March 5th, 2011 - 11:32
Good on you Steve. I have updated my blogroll and links on the series of Media Watch sites.
March 5th, 2011 - 12:07
Bye-bye Anton. Hello Steven. I kind of did know but its nice to know that I know. I wonder if Donald Rumsfeld knows?
March 5th, 2011 - 12:18
Congratulations Steve, on everything. May I ask how did Anton Vowl come about? Not why the pseudonym, but why Anton Vowl – I always though it was such a great name.
March 5th, 2011 - 12:23
Good one. I can understand the benefits of writing as yourself. It reminds you that you exist even if you may not to most. That is the more important of the two as the alternative is just sinking into the prominent oblivion of the faceless and soulless mass of ‘employees’ and ‘consumers’.
Writing as yourself is not unlike looking into the mirror. Without it, all you see is what you ought to be given what you see and fail to see. But, of course, that has to be paired with the recognition of others as well or it just descends into self-absorption which isn’t very different from the masses of modern times.
ed
March 5th, 2011 - 13:52
Glad to see you taking ownership of Enemies of Reason under your own name. It’s the only non-collaborative blog I read regularly and it’s very good – you should be proud of it.
That said, it will probably take me quite a while to think of the writer of this blog as Steven rather than as Anton Vowl.
March 5th, 2011 - 14:52
O.k., so long as keep the monkey.
March 5th, 2011 - 14:54
Well, the polite offerings above need to get a grip. I demand a campaign. How can this just be allowed to pass? Yes, it might be your name – but you can’t just go about rebranding willy nilly. Look what happened to ‘Snickers’ – they’re fucking useless now. They may still have the nuttiness; but it’s never the same as doing a ‘Marathon’.
Has anyone thought of the monkey? Has anyone even asked the monkey? Where is the monkey? We all know that photo was taken ages ago. If I don’t see a photo of The Orange Monkey, maybe waving bye-bye or packing his bags for new adventures I’m reporting you to Ofcon.
Bit selfish
P
March 5th, 2011 - 17:43
I think you’ll probably always be Anton to me – and Anton helped me a lot with Goodbye Prozac, it’s fair to say – but I’m really happy for you that you’re writing under your own name now. Feels like a fresh start for me too.
March 5th, 2011 - 17:45
It’s a little-known fact that more than half of my favourite writers are called Steven (or Stephen or Steve). There’s also a Patricia, but I think that’s not currently relevant.
Hello, Steven.
March 5th, 2011 - 20:22
Actually, let’s do spare a moment for the good, honest people who work so hard to make the Daily Star a quality newsp… STOP LAUGHING!
March 5th, 2011 - 21:43
Keeping a dual internet identity does not present me with a problem. “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large: I contain multitudes.” — Walt Whitman
March 5th, 2011 - 22:23
Sorry, I think you’re mistaking us for people who give a shit, as opposed to readers of yet another blog where you can get a quick summary of tabloid hilarity.
March 6th, 2011 - 14:59
Oh, ok. I’ll just write what you want in future. Sorry to have upset you by talking about something else.
March 6th, 2011 - 19:30
I don’t mind you using your name, Steve, but I preferred it when the trolls just used “anonymous”.
March 5th, 2011 - 23:51
You should call yourself Stanton Vaxtor. It sounds like an irascible ex-military gent; likely to be found in bars in and around cricket grounds.
March 6th, 2011 - 11:11
An interesting move for certain, though I would never get in a flap about you choosing to change – it’s your work after all, so why not put your name to it?
As someone who’s used a pseudonym for all their creative output it makes me think about the reasons for this a bit more; something I’d never really done until now. I suppose it’s because, for me, ‘Sonic’ and Angus ARE two very different people and I’d like to keep them that way – one persona for creative work when I find I am a very different person to the one at home.
Entering teaching has given me a third identity to wrestle with, which is taking quite a bit more work than the other two, though I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. Full credit to you for making the change though Steven, it takes quite a bit of nerve to put your own name to your output, especially when you have maintained the Vowl persona for so long. I really rather admire you for it, though it’s going to be a while before it feels stops feeling so very personal responding to Steven instead of Anton, after years of lurking in relatively safe web anonymity for so long myself.
March 6th, 2011 - 11:46
I used to write on-line reviews, mostly of bad sci-fi, under a pseudonym (actually, I still do about twice a year). I had a slightly different style, more like how I speak than I usually write.
Anton has always been written by and as Steven Baxter and now you’ve come out from behind the curtain and left Anton behind. I’m slightly sad and slightly pleased, neither of which make sense but there you go, and mostly going interesting development, let’s see if anything changes.
After all, Anton is out there in fictionland if we ever need him.
March 6th, 2011 - 18:05
I really admire you for “coming out” as it were. I write under a pseudonym completely separate from all of my other internet doings and it’s a nice excuse to do stuff I would normally be too self-conscious to show people who know me really.
You’re blog is pretty damned good so you’ve obviously seen there’s no need to use Anton anymore.
So long Anton, hello Steven.
March 7th, 2011 - 10:41
I think you should write under the name Flex Plexico.
(Just kidding. Pseudonym or no, the blog remains awesome.)
March 7th, 2011 - 14:00
It’ll take me a little while to adjust – ‘Steven’ is, in a way, more anonymous than ‘Anton’, and I’ve got used to thinking of you as the latter. But your blog (and a very enjoyable one!), your choice, good stuff, all that.
Two questions, though. Are you *really* packing up being a journalist? A shame, as you’re clearly an excellent one, and we could do with more like you around (although I understand very well the perils of jobhunting, especially in a specialist field, especially outside London).
And: Steven or Steve?
March 7th, 2011 - 14:23
I prefer Steve in real life but Steven as a byline. And the not being a journalist isn’t by choice… just one of those things!
March 8th, 2011 - 00:29
Right see this is all very good. However I can only read “@stebax” in the style of Steve Holt. I imagine you sitting next to the monkey punching the air shouting STE BAX! and it does somewhat ruin things.
What *does* monkey think of all this btw? I think we should be told.