It’s not the Virgin Mary
I'll try not to be po-faced about what is obviously a 'good tale'. Actually, that's a lie. Here comes the po-facedness. In the Telegraph's 'weird news' section:
Image of Virgin Mary spotted in Newquay cliff
A holidaymaker was stunned when she took a photograph of a craggy coastline and captured this spooky image - of the Virgin Mary.
Look at it. I mean, look at it. It's not the Virgin Mary. Clearly. And yet:
But Caroline, 38, was speechless when the couple returned home and studied the digital camera to spot a clear image of the Virgin Mary, which she insists was not present when she took the picture.
I tell you why it wasn't present when she took the picture - it's not fucking there. It's a Hoth Stormtrooper at best, or maybe someone dressed up as a ghost. Or a tapdancing polar bear. @Not_Eilidh suggests it's 'kind of like Queen Victoria doing a drug deal'. Whatever, it's not the Virgin Mary. It doesn't look anything like the Virgin Mary. If an all-powerful creator decided to put an image of Virgin Mary on a cliff face so a tourist could spot it, (s)he'd do a bloody sight better than that primary-school splodge.
I know, I'm being po-faced. I don't care. It's not the Virgin Mary. I understand the idea of pareidolioa, where you see Allah's name in a tomato, or Elvis's face in a cloud; but you'd be hard pressed to see the Virgin Mary in this particular cliffside Rorschach test, or anything else at all. It's just some slightly different coloured rocks. I mean, it's not even good. There's the beef. "How about that?" says the Telegraph, in a bid to rival the Daily Mail's "Fancy that" section. Well, how about that? It's rubbish, presented as if it's actually the bloody Virgin sodding Mary on the side of a cliff. It's not.
Here ends the po-facedness. Ooh look, a kitten.
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March 3rd, 2011 - 10:08
Checking the image it looks like a watercolour not a photograph. Either way, It’s not the Virgin Mary.
March 3rd, 2011 - 10:41
I can see a Slitheen there though. Must stop watching Dr Who.
March 3rd, 2011 - 10:47
A kitten? Where? I can’t see it anywhere in the cliff face…
March 3rd, 2011 - 11:14
If anything, it looks like Mary Nightingale
March 3rd, 2011 - 11:17
no, not Mary Nightingale, *Florence* Nightingale. *facepalm*.
Anyway, who the buggery knows what the virgin Mary looked like? She could’ve been a fat frumpy old hag for all we know.
March 3rd, 2011 - 11:24
If it is the Virgin Mary (which it isn’t) it’s a bit impressionist.
Also, why is it always the Virgin Mary? When people see strange male shapes, sure, usually it’s Jesus but when someone
really likes a saintknows their saints they often spot the beehive or wheel or hat which identifies them. As she’s holding a lamp, I confidently identify this as Saint Lucia.March 3rd, 2011 - 19:20
Like bollocks it ain’t Mary. Just as I remember her. Have some fucking respect.
March 3rd, 2011 - 20:43
I must say, after looking at that picture I was absolutely flabbergasted. I doesn’t look like the Virgin Mary, but it does look a bit like Steven Baxter.
March 3rd, 2011 - 20:53
I think its my Nan.
March 4th, 2011 - 10:52
After some subtle cropping, rotating and processing to bump the contrast and discover the truth of the image, I reckon the ‘virgin mary’ is actually a WWII U-boat discovering a giant swimming pig, with a duck inexplicably in the foreground. The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
http://img585.imageshack.us/i/swesternbeachcornwall1.jpg/
March 4th, 2011 - 11:17
Ross Noble years back did some stuff on this kind of thing during his stand up gigs. Something along the lines of responding
“That’s odd, because you just happen to believe in the Virgin Mary, don’t you?”
It’s a stormtrooper.
March 4th, 2011 - 11:30
I looked at that and thought “Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope”.
Just me then?
March 4th, 2011 - 12:15
Caroline took the picture at around midday while enjoying a romantic stroll with hubby Stephen, 53, on Valentine’s Day.
Romantic stroll, eh? At midday. Does anyone have a possible alternate theory for why she might be seeing things?
March 4th, 2011 - 16:38
I reckon it’s Brian and he’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!