Scrapheap here we come
I'd been meaning to do it for a while, but something kept stopping me from handing in my application for voluntary redundancy - that's 'voluntary' in the sense of 'there isn't really another option'. Something in my mind, probably, was telling me that perhaps this wouldn't happen, that it wasn't happening; maybe, somehow, things would be all right, and all this wouldn't be necessary.
But there it is. It's done now. I typed out the letter - in a futile, childish and utterly satisfying move, I put it in Comic Sans - and put it in an envelope, and there it is, it's done now, and finished. One thing ends, and another thing begins. Here I go, heading to the scrapheap.
Well, it's not a scrapheap really. As I've said before, I'm in a much more fortunate position than so many other people who are being made redundant at the moment, in that I am (relatively) young, able to retrain, don't have significant debts, have a (very) hardworking partner (who earns more than me anyway) who can keep us afloat while I'm mucking about looking for a new job, and friends and family have offered to help and so on, and so on. There really isn't anything to be terrifically scared of, and I am very lucky.
But anyway, it's not ideal. It will be strange, the next time I fill in one of those immigration cards when you go to a country outside Europe, not to be putting 'journalist' in as the profession - though of course, Hunter S Thompson memorably said journalism wasn't a profession in a quote I used to use as the header of the blog:
Journalism is not a profession or a trade. It is a cheap catch-all for fuckoffs and misfits -- a false doorway to the backside of life, a filthy piss-ridden little hole nailed off by the building inspector, but just deep enough for a wino to curl up from the sidewalk and masturbate like a chimp in a zoo-cage...
Which is about right, in many ways, though my own adventures in Lucifer's chosen profession have never really scaled the heights of Hunter, or anywhere near where I'd wanted them to go. No matter. It'll be a shame to leave it behind, when it happens. A shame not to be able to call myself a journalist any more, when that was something I'd always wanted to be.
But then, as you may have noticed from reading this blog over the past three or so years, journalism hasn't turned out to be quite the thing I may have thought it would be when I was a younger person keen to get things done and put the world to rights. Which isn't to say that there isn't brilliant journalism being done in this country and overseas, because there is; it just seems to be something that's done despite the industry, not because of it. But maybe that's changing for the better; we'll have to wait and see.
Scrapheap here we come. But it's not an unpleasant scrapheap; it's somewhere quite tidy and tastefully decorated. I'll come to enjoy it, and get used to it, and make myself at home. And then I'll begin to wonder why I ever worried at all about how things were going to turn out. Things will get better, and I will get used to it.
There's a strange sense of elation that follows the decision to quit something, to change, to move on, even if you've got nothing to go to. Like every possibility opens up, all of a sudden; like the world is a place where anything can happen, even if you might be sceptical of whether it will or not; like there is a hope that lights up even those moments when you feel like it's all gone wrong.
It's not so bad, after all. Not so bad, after all.
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About Me
Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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February 9th, 2011 - 14:33
Good luck to you. I think journalism has something of a romanticised view amongst some people… but at the same time, I think there are also people involved in it who have really lost their “passion” for what they’re doing. In the sub-sector of it that I freelance in (video games journalism) there’s a lot of cynics who seem to hate everything and fill everything with snark and vitriol—often unfounded.
It’s a shame, because I still approach things with a kind of wide-eyed enthusiasm, and I just kind of wish more people would do the same. I guess there’s a time and a place for everything though.
Anyway; best of luck with your future endeavours.
February 9th, 2011 - 14:47
Good luck in whatever you do next.
As someone who has picked up four redundancy packages over a period of 20 years, finally took it personally after the last one and now so-called “early retired” (but still looking for something to do) I can say that it is best to keep a sense of humour, not look back and regard it all as an opportunity for something new to make happen.
Trite and cliched the words above might be, but that’s because they’re true; it looks like you are taking that approach anyway.
Again, best of luck.
And don’t look back.
February 9th, 2011 - 14:50
You have not stopped being a journalist. You have simply become more freelance than before.
February 9th, 2011 - 18:23
Very best of luck! Keep on writing.
February 10th, 2011 - 11:54
Good luck pal, although I can’t see you out of work for long!
I give you one month before you put adverts on your blog, then post flame baits for the page hits.
It works well for the tabloids!
February 10th, 2011 - 12:33
I took advantage on my one redundancy (and the accompanied payout) to confuse my CV forever. In amongst all the project management and admin jobs is a nine month period as Director of a film company (my own)!
Always raises a confused eyebrow that one.
All the best!
February 10th, 2011 - 13:22
You’ll not be wanting for work, Anton, as long as we’re here to read your sentiments. Whether you get paid is another matter. I’ve jumped or been pushed a few times and yes, there is this brief feeling of well being as one slips the leash.
February 11th, 2011 - 13:02
good luck! being made redundant ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. finally got a job i like!
my boyf is facing redundancy too – this idea that the private sector is going to ‘soak up’ redundancies from the public sector is a joke when so many private companies are cutting too.
February 11th, 2011 - 15:08
The difference, of course, is that when the private sector does it it’s cute.
February 11th, 2011 - 14:17
Chin up. You bloggers are the real journalists here and totally worthy of the title – job or not. The stellar effort you put into exposing the hypocrisy and lies of the media is worth 1000 so-called Star ‘journalists’.
February 11th, 2011 - 20:44
Whilst we can all see the element of truth on Thompson’s quote, we should also remember what Kurt Vonnegut said:
“This is what I find most encouraging about the writing trades: They allow mediocre people who are patient and industrious to revise their stupidity, to edit themselves into something like intelligence. They also allow lunatics to seem saner than sane.”
February 12th, 2011 - 13:44
A brave decision and I wish you well in your journey. Unfortunately, if you ‘sign on’, you may not be so fortunate. DWP have a set of rules they adhere to whether it is in your best interests or not.
With Work Programme coming later this year, you will coerced by an independent training provider into a thankless job for low pay, simply so the provider (probably an international corporation) can earn vast profits off your back.
My tip – if you can do it, stay away from DWP – they will ruin your life.
February 14th, 2011 - 13:41
Good luck with whatever you end up doing Anton. You write very well and clearly have an audience, as demonstrated by all the comments. I sometimes wonder what you could achieve if you took the energy you put into all the Littlejohn/Moir articles and instead focused on some of the amazing, inspiring, brilliant things going on in the world that are making a real difference in people’s lives (Comrades of Reason?). Although maybe that’s not where your interest lies, and your articles wouldn’t be so funny? Just thoughts, just thoughts…
February 15th, 2011 - 12:13
Good luck Anton! I know you’ll be fine. You’re a talented writer, and from the sound of it you’ve ended up in this situation purely because the company you worked for is struggling in the current climate, which is no reflection on you personally or professionally.
Incidentally, I got made redundant myself near the start of the recession in 2009. I felt fantastic when I walked out of the door, it seemed like a great opportunity to start something new. With the statutory pay-off and my last wage I knew I could survive for months, even before I took jobseekers and benefits into account, so I had plenty of time to find something. Before I knew it Id been offered two jobs in London, where I’d always wanted to live anyway. Funny how these things can work out for the best. I wouldn’t be surprised if you found that too.
Please keep us posted!