Enemies of Reason Poundshop potshots at the media moral maze.

17Jan/118

Blue Monday and all of that

Today is Blue Monday, 'the most depressing day of the year', 'according to psychologists'. Or just some made-up silliness to flog a few things a few years ago, which has taken over a life of its own. Hey, gloomy! Go and buy this, you'll love it, it's the gloomiest day of the year! Hey, grumpy! No wonder you're grumpy, it's the grumpiest day of the year - so buy this and make yourself happy! Get a holiday! Comfort eat! Drink yourself silly! Buy something! Buy it now! Buy something! Buy it from me!

Blue Monday is going to come true, I think. People will come to dread the third Monday in January, for very good reasons. Not because of some specious formula that calculates the distance between Christmas and holidays multiplied by the width of a camel's eyebrow and take away the number you first thought of - no, not that. But it's going to become so gloomily miserable to be around in Britain in the third Monday in January - as soon as you peep your head over the top of the duvet in Alarm Clock Britain you'll realise this is the day that everyone else goes rambling on about it being the most miserable day of the year.

Oh god! The day of the year when people start tedious conversations about it being the most miserable day of the year - no wonder it's so miserable. No wonder no-one wants to get out of bed. No wonder it's so awful. Newspapers full of surveys about stuff that doesn't make any sense, all dangled like a suicidal dormouse from the peg of Blue Monday. Oh no, oh no. Make it stop, make it stop. All those press releases about banishing the winter blues and seeing off Blue Monday C&V'd into place. Won't someone think of the children? Won't someone make it all go away?

And then it'll get more, and more, and more. Until every third Monday in January people keep perpetuating this whole 'worst day of the year' thing, until you run around the screaming, begging for it to end, genuinely finding yourself actually depressed by the whole thing. "Of course, apparently it's the most depressing day of the year!" someone will chirp at the coffee machine. And you'll just have to stand there and take it, because this is chit-chat, and you're going to have to buckle up and enjoy it. And then Blue Monday will be real. And how depressing is that?

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Comments (8) Trackbacks (1)
  1. Blue Monday, and other traditionally depressive times cheer me up. I’m allowed to be depressed today? It’s not weird? Great!

    Also bucketloads of rain today, which is always fun.

  2. Also, here’s the Kylie/New Order Mash-up I Can’t Get Blue Monday Out Of My Head

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVybOXeWnhw

  3. The sun is shining, the birds are tweeting, I have coffee and chocolate rice crispy cakes, and Liz Jones is getting the shit kicked out of her on twitter to the extent they appear to have disabled comments. What is not to like?

  4. I’m highly suspicious of any public surveys or human life “equations” that are published in the general media. The usually originate from a press release aimed at selling us more useless crap or getting a brand in the news.

  5. I particulary like the fact the that, according to the wikipedia article you linked, “This date officially falls on the last Monday of the last full week in January”, which is next week

    Which means that the papers have got the wrong day anyway, and we’ll proabably have to put up with this again next week.

  6. Today might be the most DEPRESSING day of the year, but the most MISERABLE day of the year is the first Monday in November. This has been proved by science.

    http://primlystable.blogspot.com/2011/01/misery-loves-company.html

  7. Someone lobbed themselves off the Bentall Centre in Kingston on the 17th. I reckon the journalists pushing the whole “Blue Monday” thing ought to take some flak for that. Perhaps in future they could run stories along the lines of “today is apparently the most depressing day of the year, so look on the bright side – it all gets better from here on out”…


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