Two-minute hate
THIS IS AN ADVERTISEMENT. CONTENT OF THIS BLOGPOST WILL START IN TWO MINUTES. AFTER YOU'VE SAT THROUGH SOME SHIT ABOUT A FUCKING LAND ROVER OR SOMETHING. OH DON'T YOU TRY AND CLICK THE X. OH NO, MATEY. YOU TRY AND DO THAT AND WE'LL JUST STAMP OUR FEET AND MAKE YOU HAVE TO START AGAIN. FROM THE BEGINNING. YOU JUST SIT THERE AND WAIT. SIT THROUGH ALL OF THIS FUCKING ADVERT. FEEL IT BURN INTO YOUR EYES. TWO WHOLE MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE TICKING BY. TICK, TICK, TICK. THINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOU COULD BE DOING INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR THIS ADVERT TO FINISH. MAKING A BOILED EGG. HAVING A CUP OF TEA. STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANYTHING, REALLY, EXCEPT FOR THIS. BUY A LAND ROVER. USE THESE INSURERS. DO THIS SHIT. IT'S LIKE HAVING A TELEVISION BUT WORSE, SO MUCH WORSE. YOU CHOSE TO CLICK ON THIS. THE THING YOU WANT TO SEE WILL HAPPEN IN TWO MINUTES' TIME AND THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT.
Yes yes, I'd like to see that video, you know the one. Yes, that video. It looked good, like it might be fun or something, and, oh, that's it is it. Jesus. Two minutes of advert for ten fucking seconds of a cat falling over? Fuck me. Is this what my life has come to?
OH SO YOU'VE CLICKED ON THAT LINK TO SEE A STORY, HAVE YOU? WELL HOW ABOUT SEEING SOME FUCKING POINTLESS ADVERT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR SCREEN FOR FIVE MINUTES WITH A TINY X IN THE TOP RIGHT-HAND CORNER WITH A BIT OF TEXT SAYING 'CLICK HERE FOR ARTICLE'? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU. YOU LIKE THAT. GO ON, TRY AND CLICK THERE. GO ON. SAUSAGE FINGERS. KEEP TRYING. THERE YOU GO. OH, BROKEN LINK. HA! BUT WE'VE MADE A WHOLE FUCKING TEN PENCE OUT OF YOU. FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! WE WIN! YOU LOSE! YEAH, YOU LOVE IT LIKE THAT. AND YOU'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.
Oh, the article wasn't quite what I'd been hoping for.
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Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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December 22nd, 2010 - 15:33
May I recommend https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1865/
December 22nd, 2010 - 15:58
Two minute hate, that rings a bell….1984?
December 22nd, 2010 - 16:28
I’m really ticked off with the BBC’s website havind adverts for their video content now, I thought the whole point of the BBC was to not do it at all?
Thats ITV’s job !!
December 22nd, 2010 - 17:40
i watch quite a lot of blip videos which nearly always have ads, i’ve gotten used to them for the most part, but there are two things i still cant stand:
1: ads with “interactive content” the loading of which makes your computer grind to a halt because you had the audacity to purchase it more than a week ago.
2: ads which are longer than the video content.
i know these things have to make profit, and advertising is the most effective way to go about doing that, but ffs, don’t take the piss.