Enemies of Reason Poundshop potshots at the media moral maze.

22Dec/1014

Christmas fat fear

Fear. Fear! Fear about chubbiness. Fear about Christmas! Fear. Put on half a stone and he'll leave you! Stop eating that turkey! Stop the fun! Fear. Live in fear. Fear yourself. Fear everything. Fear Christmas fat!

Why putting on just half a stone will cause your husband's eyes to start wandering

My husband? Does the Daily Mail know something I don't?

There are only two days to go before the biggest feast of the year.

But for those who cannot help but ask for seconds of the Christmas turkey this might be enough to put you off.

According to a survey published yesterday partners who gain just 8lbs over the festive period could be single before the dawn of the New Year.

It seems adding just half a stone is enough for their partners to simply look elsewhere.

Ah, the 'Christmas survey pimping some weight loss guff' story. Fear! Be fearful! Use our weight-loss stuff or your husband will run off with someone else! Mind you:

Almost 42 per cent of men interviewed said they would be less attracted to their girlfriend if they gained half a stone in weight.

And five per cent even said they would consider ending the relationship altogether.

isn't quite the same as 'put on a few pounds and hubby's off dogging', and:

Overall, more than three quarters of respondents said weight gain was a turn off, with just 21 per cent admitting they would find their partner more attractive.

Spin that roulette wheel! Have a few more pigs-in-blankets and maybe it'll do wonders!

Or: don't bother with tedious surveys flogging diet stuff ahead of Christmas, and fear-tapping articles telling you that you should hate yourself, that you're basically a loser, that everything will go wrong, and that other people are shallow. Maybe they aren't.

Tell you what would be a turn-off in a potential partner of any size or shape, though: seeing them reading the Daily Mail and nodding in agreement.

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Comments (14) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Wait, over three quarters said they’d find their partner less attractive, and 21% said they’d find her more attractive… how many people said they didn’t particularly care?

  2. It’s beside the point, perhaps, but to gain 8 lbs in the Christmas period one would have to eat around 28000 excess calories. That’s equivalent to nearly 50 Big Macs or, presumably, a small flock of turkeys.

  3. (I bet it’s not a “flock”, is it. Come on, trolls, do your worst…)

  4. “Tell you what would be a turn-off in a potential partner of any size or shape, though: seeing them reading the Daily Mail and nodding in agreement.”

    Now that is a scary thought.

  5. Ha ha – love it :-)

  6. “Dr Tim Thurlings, from SlimWeight Patch”
    Ah, and there’s this survey’s sponsor…

  7. Really? Fascinating, Daily Mail. Fascinating.

    *Shoves face full of cake and doesn’t give a flying cunting fucknut about what some silly shag thinks, especially if they agree with the Daily Mail.*

    Sweetie?

  8. “…partners who gain just 8lbs over the festive period could be single before the dawn of the New Year.”

    WTF? one big blow out and hubbies out the door in less than a week? Sound like a good thing to me.

  9. I wouldn’t call 21% ‘just’ in that context, as that’s very nearly a quarter. But this is basically rubbish, as others have said, especially as they haven’t published the actual questions used or the details of the sample. If your partner would really leave you for gaining half a stone, then they’d also flee at the first sign of trouble in your life, so they’re clearly not worth your time.

    But, meh, more Mail rubbish. I suppose it’s the people who would read it and believe it that we really need to worry about.

  10. coming at you next week, an article bemoaning how thin celebrities are having an impact on young women’s self esteem, next to a photo strip criticising X celeb’s thighs.

  11. “Tell you what would be a turn-off in a potential partner of any size or shape, though: seeing them reading the Daily Mail and nodding in agreement.”

    Balls! You beat me to it…

    “Almost 42 per cent of men interviewed said they would be less attracted to their girlfriend if they gained half a stone in weight.”

    You know what would be genuinely interesting? Finding out the percentage of people who would actually NOTICE their partner gaining half a stone in weight. *Maybe* if their partner went away for a week, put the weight on then came back, they might notice. But unless they weigh each other daily, or have regular Wii Fit sessions together, or their double bed is a reconditioned see-saw, I’m not convinced the average person would notice a couple of extra pounds a day. Christ, it’s hard enough spotting when they’ve had a haircut.

    • I was going to say the same thing. I suspect that the people who think they’d be turned off if their partner gained 8lb are picturing something much fatter than the reality. A bit like dress sizes – these same people probably reckon they’d be distressed if their partner went from, say, a size ten to a size twelve – but it’s only about an inch or so difference and not noticeable to any but the most stringent observer.

      Anyway, people should be wearing great big woollens in this weather, not getting their naked tummies out for approval.

  12. As with all DM articles, it’s contradicted by another DM article:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1338074/Half-stone-happier-Is-7lb-really-holy-grail-weight-loss-And-men-incapable-noticing.html

    This one clearly states that your husband won’t notice if you lose half a stone.


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