Let’s burn things*
Let's burn things. Want to get on the front page of a newspaper, but know that no-one's going to listen to you otherwise? Burn things. They love it. They're like moths; they can't help flapping towards a flame. If it's on fire, it's good. Want to do a decent protest with reasonable aims? Forget it. Page 206. Smash something, though - or, even better, burn it - and you'll be flying towards the front of the paper. Burn something. Burn it because you want to get attention. And it'll work. If you're the leader of a tiny load of idiots whose entire membership would fit in a Ford Cortina, yet you want to get massive attention way out of proportion to (a) whether anyone should actually give a shit about you or not and (b) the value of your needle-dicked protest in the bigger scheme of things, then don't worry - burn things. Burn something that people see as a symbol of something noble; that'll do the trick. Kerching! Your poxy one-man-and-his-dog protest will be transformed from some nutcase ranting away in the middle of nowhere into LOOK AT ALL OF THEM, YES THOSE DARK ONES, THEY'RE BURNING STUFF AND HATE US AND ALL THE VALUES WE HOLD DEAR, THEY HATE OUR BRAVE BOYS, LET'S KICK THEM OUT, OH THEY'RE FROM HERE ANYWAY, THAT JUST MAKES ME ANGRY AND SOMEWHAT FRUSTRATED. Burn stuff, and hey presto - your insignificant piddly little life gets transformed from the no-mark you so richly deserve to be into a big scary bogeyman coming to kill the middle classes. Brilliant! Just what you always wanted. Burn stuff. Burn it high and burn it long. Though make sure there's a crescent of cameras around you to capture the full richness of what you're doing in glorious colour, otherwise there's no point. Burn things. Burn them because you like to watch them burn. Burn them because that's how it's decided whether things are important or not - on fire good, not on fire bad. Because that's the way we love it.
* The title of this post is not to be taken as an incitement to burn things, especially not airports, or public buildings, or Conservative Party headquarters, or nice shops that sell charity Christmas cards, or anywhere really, please don't arrest me, don't send me back to that scary place...
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Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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November 12th, 2010 - 09:44
The bit I liked about it was the fact that they’d had to go out and buy one of those big poppies for cars and houses, so they could burn it.
Way to show your disdain for UK armed forces there.
November 12th, 2010 - 11:56
Maybe someone should burn the tabloids in protest of the media focusing on this nonsense.
November 12th, 2010 - 19:41
I’m down with it.
November 12th, 2010 - 20:46
Even better: issue press releases to the media telling them exactly what you’re going to do and when, as Muslims Against Crusades (aka Anjem Choudary’s latest publicity stunt group) did. http://www.muslimsagainstcrusades.com/
November 13th, 2010 - 10:12
I believe it’s John Simpson, in one of his books, who talked about the small industries in Pakistan, Iran etc. who produced American and British flags to be burned at demonstrations. It’s a ritual and, more obviously, the demonstrators got their faces, placards and opinions into the press. Choudary knows this but either the press still don’t, or more likely they’re willing actors in the charade.
November 18th, 2010 - 00:32
You sound like a sneering liberal in this post. The ‘sneer’ comes in your assumption that a burning is some kind of self-conscious act for the cameras. It might be news to you, but before the cameras things were burnt with much more regularity.
The politics of the sneer. The ‘sneer’ results from a lack of active politics.
Liberalism. Fustiness. Fence-sitting.
Fire is renewal.