I'd never made risotto until @blueyebutterfly and me made this one this afternoon. So here's a recipe that even I can't make go bad.
What you will need:
1 butternut squash
400g risotto rice
2 and a half vegetable stock cubes
2 cloves of garlic
olive oil / butter / some sort of low-fat spread or some shit like that
white wine / vermouth / half a can of Kestrel*
How to do it
Honestly, it's a piece of piss. I don't know why I was ever intimidated by the idea of making a risotto - perhaps something to do with seeing Gordon Ramsay intimidate some poor submissive sap on television for making it too watery or something - but I'm glad to have popped my risotto cherry.
Firstly, get a fucking big knife and stick it into the squash. This is probably the hardest bit. My knives are a bit blunt and you're forever running the risk of turning into an episode of Casualty when attempting to slice apart something funny shaped like a butternut squash. You want to cut this into a few chunks - think sort of medium potato-sized bits. Scoop out the seeds and all that shit. Leave the skin on. Throw it in a roasting tin with a fuckload of olive oil for about 45-50 minutes at about 200 degrees or whatever your oven says. Shake it a couple of times for luck.
Get the squash out of the oven, scrape the flesh off the skin, and mash it around a bit in a bowl. Easy bit, this. Leave that to one side while you get started on the risotto.
Get some more olive oil or a knob of butter and heat that up with two cloves of garlic either finely chopped or minced in one of those pretty gadgets. I don't have one of them as they make the washing up bowl smell for weeks and I'll get in trouble. You can use a bit of finely chopped onion if you like, though we didn't. When they've been fizzing away for a bit, add the rice so it's covered by the butter/oil.
Most recipes at this point tell you to wait before it gets 'translucent' but we couldn't be arsed. You're meant to throw in some white wine or vermouth here, but since I was driving, we didn't - but you might want to.
Then it's a simple case of making 2 pints of vegetable stock and adding it gradually to the rice, as it gets absorbed. Stir it like a bastard to stop it going clumpy and shite. This is the boring bit, and seemed to take forever, though we may not have had the gas up high enough. When it's nearly all absorbed, have a look at a bit of salt and pepper and some rosemary. Fresh rosemary is nice, if you can be sure the cat hasn't weed on it in the garden.
Take the risotto off the heat, mix in the squash and the pine nuts, and that's about it. Bloody lovely. Serves about four normal humans, or two extraordinarily greedy people.
* This might not work as well as the other two
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