All-purpose Ed Miliband hatchet job
Son of a Marxist, therefore must be one himself... illegal immigrant, so he's bound to favour them, isn't he? And of course, he's one of them. No charisma... a bit weird... probably autistic or something, shall we say Asperger's Syndrome...? (Why not? This worked well with Gordon Brown. Before you know it we'll have everyone commenting on news articles involving Ed Miliband to call him a 'weirdo' and say he's 'mental'. Job done.) Call him a bit weird and then everyone will know what you're really getting at. Say he looks uncomfortable in public, as if he might be special needs.
Not on the birth certificate... of course, it's a purely private matter between him and his 'partner'... (ensure 'partner' is in inverted commas to make it clear that it's wrong / immoral / maybe he's gay or something) ... but surely his children have been let down, traumatised... of course we wouldn't want to imply that he's not the father of his children... but get him to deny that he's not the father, just to point it out... too busy to look after his own family, what does that say about him? Weirdo. Nutter. Loony. Special needs weirdo maybe gay illegal immigrant Marxist leftie Trot troublemaker scum bastard, or just a really bad dad? Hey, it's not for us to decide... it's a purely private matter for him and his 'partner'... of course, he couldn't be bothered to get married... they hate marriage, while at the same time they let gay people, and lesbians do it... oh yes, it's pretty clear where these metropolitan elite liberal-left Socialist scum's priorities lie... not with marriage and families and children and nice things like that... but with dirty evil, like gays and lesbians. What does that say about Labour?
Lurch to the left... left-leaning... propped up by unions... evil unions... three per cent of union members at a time when they're less powerful than at any time over the past 100 years vote for Miliband, so he's a puppet... puppet of Bob Crow... Bob Crow's evil autistic puppet... weirdo non-father Crow puppet Asperger's Marxist... Labour won't win back their Surrey heartland with him in charge... Miliband will lurch to the left and leave Middle England behind... he will, whether he's said the exact opposite or not... fears of a lurch to the left... fears of rifts in Labour... fear... fear... fear... more talented brother, yet he got elected... and he still won't put his name on the birth certificate...
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Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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September 28th, 2010 - 18:04
Reading that in a Stewart Lee voice works well.
Reading that in a Robin Ince voice works even better.
September 29th, 2010 - 07:42
Ranted ala Mark E. Smith and you’ve got the next fall album!
September 28th, 2010 - 18:04
Just about sums it up… It’s pitiful really isn’t it? I think we will all need to treat it as so much white noise.
September 28th, 2010 - 18:05
Speaking of birth certificates – how do we know he wasn’t born in Kenya?
Sorry… went a bit “Tea Party” for a second
September 28th, 2010 - 18:10
Don’t forget the sinus issues. Crystal clear lunacy indicator.
September 28th, 2010 - 18:23
Is the Fail copying the ‘Birthers’ in the States? More and more I see a direct link between the right-wing press in this country and their cousins in the US, a see-monkey-do approach to reporting.
I do like Steve Bell’s latest offering:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/cartoons
September 28th, 2010 - 19:05
I have heard nothing of this save for the fact that he won. I would hazard a guess that the above represents a pre-emptive sampling of Mail / Scum / ‘News’ of the World / Express headlines until he resigns.
We’re slowly, almost imperceptibly at times, but very definitely turning into McCarthy-era USA with all this fearmongering and anti-leftwittering on in the press.
Or maybe I just read your blog, and thus the views of the Mail, too much without anything to balance it out?
September 28th, 2010 - 19:05
Wow, Anton, for a moment there I thought I was reading Littlejohn himself! Scary stuff!
I was going to post about his “Earth to Mister Ed: Who’s the Daddy?” crap, but now I don’t have to put myself through it. Thank you
September 28th, 2010 - 20:36
Okay, would some kind person explain what the birth certificate kerfuffle is about? Is it just that his name wasn’t on his kids certificates and that Means Something Shady? I tried to understand what the hell the Mail was getting at and gave up.
Poor Ed.
September 28th, 2010 - 21:12
It’s almost as bad as the guff spouted about Nick Clegg (who hobnobs with dentists and lawyers in his 4 bedroom house with ‘modern furnishings’)
September 29th, 2010 - 08:02
ah yes, bob crow, he’s definately in the pocket of bob crow is “red” ed, the very same bob crow who was extensively intveriviewed after the election and stated his dislike of ed and how he had wanted diane abbot to win. yes, definately in the pocket of bob crow is this man.
well, i’m sure at least clegg is releaved to not be the political villian for a while (at least untill the next time he sticks his neck out to say something that isn’t on the tory line).
September 29th, 2010 - 10:02
Duh, he wouldn’t put his name on the birth certificate because then he’d've had to reveal that his middle name was actually Hussein.
September 29th, 2010 - 11:45
Whither David?
September 29th, 2010 - 13:53
All well and good, but there’s something missing; the totally-not-codeword ‘North London Intellectual’. Which is just another way of saying one of them, of course. But has been used already.
September 29th, 2010 - 17:25
I wish he WAS as left wing as his dad!
September 30th, 2010 - 04:16
Aye, they might be pouring steaming mountains of shit onto his name, those cheeky tabloid buggers, but let’s face facts here: Ed Miliband, whatever your political persuasion, is just a bit shit. It’s a sign of how desperate Labour are when they can get excited and forget about the past by looking at a guy like Ed.
September 30th, 2010 - 11:35
Well that would be fair enough, if people said that. The ‘oooh, he won’t get married’ stuff is pretty pathetic. I’m all for pointing out EM’s failings, but not the trivial bollocks.
October 2nd, 2010 - 19:10
Does he have trivial bollocks? And if he did, would it be in the public interest?