Eeek! Panic! Aaargh! A killer crocodile is coming to kill your kids!
BEACHES along the English Channel were closed yesterday after a killer crocodile was spotted lurking in the sea.
The alarm was raised after two men said they had seen a 12ft monster near the northern French port of Boulogne, less than 30 miles from Britain's south coast.
And look, there's a grainy photo of a crocodile in the sea, to make you think that some hapless holidaymaker has spotted it devouring a couple of kids in a dinghy or something - except the photo isn't of this crocodile at all, just an example of a crocodile. You'll also note that the line about 'beaches along the English channel' might make you think that this was happening in England - instead of France (unless our croc is a bloody good swimmer).
Really? A salt water crocodile? Well, it was on the front page of the Sun, and it's still there on their website, so you can be pretty sure that this isn't going to turn out to be some kind of floating bit of wood or something.
But on Saturday morning it was reported that the French Coastguard had confirmed the crocodile sightings had in fact been sparked by a floating piece of wood.
Oh. I guess the Sun are just making completely sure there isn't a killer crocodile on the loose out there before they update their website.
I mean it's not as if they've gone overboard before about these things, for example a killer great white shark off the coast of Cornwall, which turned out to be actually a photo of a great white in South Africa, is it?