Every celebrity I’ve ever seen
Here is every celebrity I've ever seen. This excludes celebrities seen in locations where you might expect to see celebrities, e.g. at a football match, theatre, comedy gig, etc. My friends seem to have better luck than me - a friend once saw Rod Hull sitting on his own in a Happy Eater. If there's a better description of pathos than that then I have yet to see it.
1. Dennis Waterman, Wimbledon, c 1988.
I'd gone to Wimbledon to buy a new joystick for my ZX Spectrum, and there was Denis Waterman, in a brown leather jacket and slightly tinted glasses. Just walking down the road, like any normal person might be. I think he was doing panto at the time which might explain why he was there. We didn't exchange any words. He just walked by. But I was a bit starstruck.
2. Paul Coia, tube station (possibly Tottenham Court Road), c 1991.
I think I was on my way to Tower Records or something. And there was Paul Coia, host of many now-forgotten TV quiz shows, just standing there. I did not see Debbie Greenwood. To be honest I was not as starstruck as when I saw Denis Waterman. It felt like my celebrity spotting was on a downward trajectory.
3. Roland Rivron, some garage in Sutton, possibly Shell, c 1993.
The 'Raw Sex' star was at the night pay window, asking for a pint of milk.
4. Mmloki Chrystie, outside Baker Street tube station, 1995.
That was better. Just standing there, on a bricky early mobile phone IIRC, outside the tube station, was the bloke out of Press Gang.
5. Jesse Birdsall, some bar possibly near Wardour Street which for some inexplicable reason had a Swiss theme (in fact it might have been called St Moritz), 1996.
I'd been to see a mate's band play to a crowd of about 10, which included the bloke out of Eldorado.
6. Chris Evans, accident and emergency department, UCL Hospital (I think), c 1998.
He'd broken his arm or had somesuch similar injury. He was wearing sunglasses. It was night-time. We all knew it was him but no-one went up to him. We were all hanging around with various injuries and illnesses. "Phone call for Christopher Evans?" said the receptionist, lazily. He walked up to the desk with a 'Yes, it's me' look on his face.
7. Tony Hawks, some pub in Wimbledon, about 2001.
It had been a fairly lean time of rubbing shoulders with the great and good. But when Tony Hawks (not the skateboarding man, the other one) sat at the next table and had a pint, that made up for it.
8. Jimmy White, dreadful pub somewhere, 2002.
He returned his burnt steak as he didn't like it. He was wearing a leather jacket and looked a little bit fed up.
9. James Brown, Dublin airport, 2004.
I was minding my own business in some tacky gift shop when I bumped into the Godfather of Soul. There he was! This is probably my biggest brush with celebrity to date.
10. Kevin McCloud, struggling with a pushchair in the Glastonbury mud, 2007.
I also narrowly missed seeing Charlie Brooker and Aisleyne Horgan Wallace as I was taking a shit in the long drop as they walked past. A regret.
So, there you have it. All the celebrities I've ever seen. I think in a lot of ways I've been lucky, in others I haven't. Maybe I missed Lemmy from Motorhead by a couple of seconds here, maybe I saw Paul Coia and was fortunate to do so. Who knows?
*update*
Since writing this I've remembered other celebrity spots from my past:
11. Graham Norton, somewhere near Covent Garden, about 2002. Looked a bit pissed off. Shorter than he looks on telly.
12. Phil Tufnell, on his way home from what appeared to have been a fairly nice evening out, at about 8am, near where I used to live, about 2003.
13. Mark Lamarr, at a Beautiful South gig back in about 1993.
14. Jonathan King, prowling around in what appeared, even in those days, to be quite an eerie fashion, Reading Festival, 1994.
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August 10th, 2010 - 12:10
Jealous about Kevin McCloud. When I was at Glastonbury Andrew Marr walked past my tent and woke me up filming a piece for “Britain from Above”. Also bumped into Ken Livingstone on the tube.
“Oh my god, you’re Ken Livingstone”
“I am”
Smooth.
August 10th, 2010 - 12:13
I think my favourite celebrity moment is the day I unknowingly stood behind Nick Cave at the coffee bar in the BA lounge at Gatwick Airport. I am a huge Nick Cave fan and as such had a perfect opportunity to ask one of my heroes an intelligent question about his outstanding career and prolific songwriting abilities. Instead, clearly fanstruck I stuck out my hand and mumbled the cringeworthy statement, ” Man, Nick Cave! I just loved your last album.” Nick was incredibly gracious, shook my hand and politely sat as far away from me (obviously crazed in his eyes) as possible until my flight was called.
August 10th, 2010 - 12:22
Eddie Jordan, 2004ish, Watford Gap service station. Looked sort of angry.
And erm, Jeremy Spake was at my School Assembly in 1998.
August 10th, 2010 - 12:39
Shirley Williams presented me with my o-level certificates, 50 years ago.
August 10th, 2010 - 12:41
Bobby Moore and wife in Front Street, Bermuda 1983. Honest!
August 10th, 2010 - 12:41
I never seem to encounter anyone famous (apart from Kasabian, who went to my college). My mum on the other hand, has a knack for picking restaurants with celebrities also dining:
2001ish, sat next to jerry springer in a small restaurant near hyde park
last week, sat next to ulrika johnson in a cafe in notting hill
August 10th, 2010 - 12:47
Ooh ooh I like this game. I used to work in record shops Putney/Fulham area, and saw most of my celebrities there. And they include some pretty big names.
Yasmin Le Bon – shyly buying a record (not Duran Duran)
Sofie Dahl- Requesting an Annie Lennox album ON CASSETTE which we embarrassingly did not have in stock.
Holly Johnson – Yes of Frankie goes to Hollywood. Chubby, and had a little dog with him.
Mark Owen – asking for a variety of cool indie CDs, luckily he did not peruse the sale shelves as he would have seen his solo effort there for a couple of quid (even though it was actually quite good). Mark Owen is a tiny man. Same size as me (and I’m little).
Paul Merton – Buying plays on CD, he’s so bloody tall.
Mark Williams TWICE just out and about with his child.
Nick Cave – Brighton train station, queuing at a machine to get a ticket!
August 10th, 2010 - 12:57
number 9: wow
August 10th, 2010 - 13:00
Neil Lennon once bought me a drink after I served him in a Leicester bar. Kate Lawler also popped in there once but I was the only member of staff who recognised her, much to my dismay. I’ve never been the same since.
But perhaps my favourite celebrity story was when my friends and I returned home after a birthday night out only to find the house had been broken into, prompting my inebriated friend to comment: “I don’t know what to say, I’m starstruck.”
August 10th, 2010 - 13:03
I too, saw Kevin McCloud at Glastonbury ’07. Stallholder told him I was a steward (I was off-duty but had been chatting with stallholder moments earlier) so he handed me a mobile phone that he’d found, assuming I would reunite it with its owner.
I tracked down the owner by their mum & dad’s number in the phone and returned it to her. Somewhat seredipitously, her dad ran an oak-frame business that had featured in an episode of Grand Designs.
August 10th, 2010 - 13:04
I once stood behind someone from The Bill on an escalator.
August 10th, 2010 - 13:12
Leo Sayer came into a shop I worked and tried to jump the queue
August 10th, 2010 - 13:15
Pathetic.
Johnny Rotten bought me a drink in the Brecknock on Camden Road at a Squeeze gig.
John Stonehouse (disgraced Labour MP, ex Postmaster-General) visited our house once and bounced me on his knee (I was about 6 months old). His family & mine were once friends.
Escorted Jon Pertwee from his room to the convention hall at a Dr Who convention. Nice chap.
Saw Maureen Lipman in M&S in Muswell Hill. She smiled and waved when someone whispered ‘Look, it’s Beattie’.
Regular see her off Birds of a Feather around Islington. She once swept through M&S at the Angel like she was lady of the manor.
Had my photo taken with ‘Q’ (off Star Trek).
Singer from Fine Young Cannibals at daughter’s school concert (to see his son, no doubt, not my daughter)
John Hegley looking less than delighted to be at the Big Chill on Friday.
August 10th, 2010 - 13:17
Gyles Brandreth and family sat on the next table to us in Pizzaland, Bedford in 1986. He was wearing one of those hideous jumpers worn only by… well, by Gyles Brandreth.
This was slightly eclipsed by (a) my uncle getting his picture on the front page of The Times as he finished just ahead of Jimmy Savile in the London Marathon (slow day for news I guess) and (b) my nan sitting next to David Essex on the QE2. He’s a “very nice man”, apparently.
August 10th, 2010 - 13:22
Visited London one day and saw Rowland Rivron ice skating with his kids and then Thomas Castagnede buying pet fish.
Sat down opposite Neil Tennant in the cafe at the Oxford Museum of Modern Art. Also saw Danny Boyle looking confused by his whereabouts in the centre of Oxford.
Despite meeting numerous comedians in some semi-professional contexts, I was sat opposite Reginald D. Hunter and Ian Stone (having by this time retired my semi-professional contexts) at Heathrow last year and for some reason chose not to say hello. Rude me.
August 10th, 2010 - 13:42
We had Delroy Lindo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delroy_Lindo) come into our shop to pump up a football.
Really nice guy!
August 10th, 2010 - 13:44
Robert Webb about four times in the last year. I can only assume his local Sainsbury’s is same as mine.
Other than that, no-one, I think. I need to look at the ground less.
August 10th, 2010 - 13:57
Ooh yes, I forgot George Melly! I was walking home from work late one night (hospital late shift) when George leaned out of a car and asked for directions to Enfield. Quite why he was going to Enfield at 10.30pm when the place closes down (or did in the early 80s) at 10.30 I don’t know. He was wearing one of his very loud suits.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:08
Sometimes I see the blonde woman who sang songs, that were penned by the guy who wrote Meatloaf’s hits, in Sainsburys and at a wine bar near to where I live. Occasionally the woman is with someone called Catherine who is married to a son of the man who played Spartacus.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:09
Keith Chegwin, 1986, Stevenage. He was in panto and I was interviewing him. While I was doing that, I got a parking ticket.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:11
Wendy Craig once sat at the next table to us at a pub in the Chilterns.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:13
I’ve only ever met one minor celeb – in fact, he lives down the road from me: Wilf Lunn, the mad inventor from BBC Vision On. He’s a lot thinner now, and has a pacemaker which – in keeping with his eccentric persona – is said to be audible in quiet room. My favourite sculpture of his is “Muslim Bicycle” – it has one handlebar and one pedal. Wilf’s allowed to make bad jokes like that coz he’s so cool. Oh, and I worked at a bar in the hotel where the Last of the Summer Wine crew stayed when they were filming – a proper bunch of luvvies!
August 10th, 2010 - 14:20
Cutting out celebrities met through relevant work, ‘cos that’d be cheating, mine come to:
– Val Doonican (used to attend our church)
– Masaaki Sakai (played Monkey – met him at a classic car rally in Japan for about 5 seconds)
– Phil Tuffnell did a talk at our school once
– Big Boy Barry from Games World
– I saw Matt Horne walking along the road a few months ago near Oxford Circus
– I saw John Craven out walking his dog once as well
– I served Leo Sayer at a petrol station (seemed a very nice chap)
Considering I work in Soho, that’s actually a bit pathetic. I’m going to have to hang around on corners a bit more.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:32
I’ve just remembered! I saw also Tuffers once. He used to live near me and I saw him stumbling home at about 8am one morning, fag in his gob, after what appeared to be a nice evening out.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:34
The only one I can think of was Robbie Coltrane on holiday in Menorca sometime in the mid 90′s .We had to stop my mother running over and terrifying him. There was Simon Donnell too, if he counts. We got into a heated ‘debate’ with him at one in the morning in a bar once.
Other than that my friends have a decent crop I’m a tad jealous of, The Chuckle Brothers, Jeremy Beadle & Kevin Keegan in a cobblers (just KK, sadly not both of them).
August 10th, 2010 - 14:43
Virginia Wade
Barry Chuckle
Robbie Fowler
Someone from Brookside
Noel Fielding
Prince Charles.
Proudest moment… Barry Chuckle by miles
August 10th, 2010 - 14:49
We ate in a restaurant alongside Gavin (formerly) from Autoglass a few weeks ago (YES, the actual him). I’ve also seen Crispian Mills, Richard Ashcroft, Kelly Jones, Gavin from Feeder and Anthony Stewart-Head knocking around Bath (alas, not together).
My friend had an even better one in Bath, come to think of it – he was chased by Van Morrison for wearing one of those German army shirts. He kept yelling NAZI! Ah me. Oh, and VM also blocked the toilet in the café another friend worked in… :S
I also served Alison from Big Brother in Birmingham Boots. I asked her about Fern & Phil, she ate crisps in easily the most fascinating manner I have ever seen. In an entirely separate occasion, she threw a strop when my friend wouldn’t reopen Thorntons for her.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:54
I too have seen Jesse Birdsall. I cycled past him in Kensal Rise once. Pete Burns also hangs around there and I used to go to a cafe that he would sometimes visit.
John Hannah and Chris Tarrant, both in separate pubs in Berkshire.
And my favourite: I was buying a newspaper and a bottle of water at WH Smith on Brighton station. Carol Cleveland, of Monty Python fame, approached me, pointed out that there was a buy-one-get-one-free offer on the bottles of water, and asked me if I wanted to go halves.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:55
In my days in the big smoke there were several…
George out of Gilbert and George leaving the dentists that I was going into.
Kevin Keegan visiting the offices of the company that I worked for at the time (he was the star of the almost inexplicable commercial for Sportal.com, which is fortunately not on YouTube).
Sinead O’Connor taking part in an IRC chat for Lollapalooza – she hadn’t forgotten her secretarial training and could deliver anti-Pope rants at a brisk 60wpm.
Barry Adamson on several occasions, a remarkably good chap, had a raid on the cupboards at Mute records for me.
Most of Suede (then again, their manager and guitar roadie were both friends)
David Thewlis, who was dating a friend of friend. He introduced himself as David, I didn’t say ‘Yes, I know’.
There are far fewer options in Leeds these days, apart from the occasional member of the Emmerdale cast, and I haven’t even seen Jimmy Saville in the papery flesh, although everyone knows where he can be found.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:55
Rodger Moore – I worked for Centrica (British Gas) and well before a whiff of the recession we are in, as part of the company awards they flew us out to Monaco for a company piss up. Rodger Moore was hired in to present the awards. He is very orange. Can’t remember what I said to him but was quite pissed so probably something stupid.
Bill Bailey – Was standing outside the Worlds End pub in Edinburgh about to head to the Pleasence to see a show. At the lights, a car pulls up and lo-and-behold it’s Bill Bailey in the driving seat. In the passenger seat was a lady with a giant Cockatoo bird in her hand. All I could blubber was ‘It’s Bill Bailey’
@Richard0 – Also bumped into Robbie Coltrane, in a lift in Glasgow at my office – we shared a building with IWC Media so I assume he was off to talk about some show. I think we spoke about the weather or something. The company was management for Wet Wet Wet, Hugh & Cry so I got to meet that lot too.
Glen Michael – This one will really only appeal to us Scots, but met Glen Michael twice as a child on his Cartoon Cavalcade roadshow – Once I got £5 as a prize, the next time I got a £1 and a toy basketball set.
Sean Connery – Walked right past him on the beach at St Andrews, did the cursory nod and hello – he must have been in a good mood not to shout at me or slap me.
Ewen Bremner – Must have lived somewhere near my last flat as I kept seeing him about, such as shopping in Sainsburys or walking down the road with Wife and Kid.
August 10th, 2010 - 14:56
ken dohery playing snooker in a shopping centre
damien rice in the pit of a bon jovi concert, he was with his da and standing beside us, we didnt bother him (my friends recgonised him)
my mate once met the sinn fein woman from when ali g was in n.ireland, ramdomly in dublin
always see “Local” celebs from tv walking around belfast, but they dont count
August 10th, 2010 - 15:01
(1) I queued up for the toilets behind Jarvis Cocker at Latitude 2009. He ended up in the cubicle next to me. Our streams crossed.
(2) Princess Anne nearly ran me over in Sheffield on her way to some official event. I was distracted by the policeman stopping the traffic and started across the zebra crossing without looking. She looked surprised at my leaping backwards.
(3) I have danced with Haydn Gwynne. Or rather she danced. I can’t.
(4) I walked past Chris Evans in the street once. He didn’t notice me.
August 10th, 2010 - 15:01
Terry Pratchett – crossing a road (Totenham Court Road).
Bill Oddie – on two separate occasions at gigs.
August 10th, 2010 - 15:04
I once saw Hellen Mirren putting out the bins in front of her house in London. It was a couple of weeks after she won the oscar as well.
August 10th, 2010 - 15:08
In no particular order:
Alex Best (lovely), Bryan Robson (served him a drink), Mark Owen (ditto), Ian Broudie (threeto), Jimmy White (ham sandwich), Michael Howard (met during a power cut), Ricky Gervais (outside Harrods), and, er, Melinda Messenger (in the world’s seediest nightclub, and she later said in a Sky magazine interview it was the “worst experience of her life”. It was one of mine too. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, this is pre-web).
August 10th, 2010 - 15:12
I completely forgot I’d met the Chuckle Brothers. I skived off Geography to go and harrass them when they were filming locally. Super guys – even if they did both look like they were dying of a terrible disease (but haven’t they always?).
August 10th, 2010 - 15:14
Brian Blessed in Hamleys.
Simon Callow in Fortnum & Mason.
Jon Snow emerging from a dry cleaners near or in Grays Inn Road, and (nice symmetry) Peter Snow on the Piccadilly Line.
Someone who was in a band called Aswad in a bar in Osaka, although I’d never heard of him.
Richard Gere emerging from a car outside a hotel in Tokyo.
Richard Attenborough at a wedding in Scotland (I was working at the venue)
Once saw the Queen Mother’s car passing quickly along an empty backstreet in Waterloo. She still waved, though – just for me!
Also, I know someone who has since become a TV presenter, but I suppose that’s different…
August 10th, 2010 - 15:14
i saw joey barton buying live coral from a garden centre in warrington.
apart form that, i’ve only really ever met past and present everton players, and i walked past freddie flintoff at the trafford centre although i don’t remember it.
August 10th, 2010 - 15:20
oh, almost forgot. once met the bloke who plays peter petrelli in heroes when he was coming out of a restaurant in new york.
although that doesn’t beat me stalking chris kamara in tenerife airport when i realised it was him. ah, memories…
August 10th, 2010 - 15:17
Philippa Forrester – Presented me with an award when I was a child. Was ridiculously happy because I fancied her like mad (I was about 12 at the time) and she took a photo with me and signed my certificate. Nice lady.
When I worked in WHSmiths I served:
Nigel Havers – He was looking for a specific kind of stationary.
Zoe Wanamaker – She bought a Jeremy Clarkson book.
Nick Knowles – He asked me where the local papers were, picked one up, and paid for it with a £20 note. WANKER. I’ve hated him ever since.
August 11th, 2010 - 09:38
WHsmith is a veritable celebrity hotbed. When I was working there, I met
- Emma Bunton (she used to buy the Independant)
- Some bird off Big Brother (Helen?)
- Edgar Davids – and his unfeasibly tall, pretty girlfriend. He asked me to recommend him a good film. I think he ended up buying Pirates of the Caribbean
- Paul Robinson – he told me he liked my hair (it was half purple, half red)
- Robbie Keane – dressed like a pikey
When I worked at the London Dungeon, I met Kelly Osbourne, Corey Taylor from Slipknot (an extremely nice man) and Gianfranco Zola (he had two for one vouchers!)
August 10th, 2010 - 15:25
Tim Roth in the bar of what is now the Mercure Point Hotel on Bread St, Edinburgh. He’s wee.
Sylvester McCoy must have rented a flat near ours one festival. Used to run into him every morning getting the papers and a pint of milk at the corner shop. He always looked slightly terrified, but was very sweet.
Phil Davis at a festival party. He is a wee man too.
I danced with John Hurt at a ceilidh once. Also wee.
Morten Harket from A-Ha catches my tram. I wish he’d bloody walk. He’s not a wee man.
August 10th, 2010 - 16:08
A few months ago, I served Stewart Lee two bottles of Abbots Ale.
August 10th, 2010 - 16:37
@colin Christ, Michael Howard in a power cut must’ve taken some getting over.
Remembered few more, when I was very small Mick Hucknell shopped at the Safeway( I think) near us, thankfully I was too young too realise who he was. Some guy from shipwrecked called ‘Badu’, or something, used to drink at the awful weatherspoons near me. Though if he hadn’t been pointed out I’d know who he was even less.
August 10th, 2010 - 16:55
Eddie Izzard, cycling down the pavement (naughty!) on Tottenham Court Road, c. 1995.
Sean Hughes at a gig at the Broadwalk, about 1999.
Mike Skinner backstage at a Streets gig. I shook his hand.
Bill Bailey standing outside having a smoke near Tavistock Square c. 2001. He was outside the rehearsal rooms for Black Books, which was filmed round the corner.
Tony Hart, when I was six, he signed his book for me. The man is a god.
Siobhan Redmond, actress – I served her at the Dillons (now Waterstones) at the Barbican Centre, she bought an Evening Standard. c.1999
Michael Sheen – also served at Dillons. I forget what he bought. He was Henry V at the RSC at the time. c. 1999
What fun! A surprisingly cool collection there from me. I’m sure there’s more but can’t remember…
August 10th, 2010 - 17:17
I had a leak next to John Peel in the primitive toilets at the Lincoln Festival in 1972.
My stunning conversation was “All right John?” to which he replied “Yes fine thanks.”
August 10th, 2010 - 17:34
My stepdad’s sister used to be Ian Holm’s partner, so one time I was staying with some of them in London and he suddenly showed up. I was so anxious, I dashed away. Not a good look, I know
This was about 2003
Also in London, I saw Peter Stringfellow looking at train times in Victoria station. He was wearing some leopard-print suit, and kind of short.
Princess Anne came to visit the Citizen’s Advice Bureau in Exeter where I volunteer. She’s all right, for a royal.
August 10th, 2010 - 17:45
I’m shocked not to see Justin Lee Collins on your list. I can’t seem to cycle from one side of Bristol city centre to the other lately without seeing him. More accurately I’ve seen him 4 times since his son stepped on my toes at the harbour festival 10 days ago.
August 10th, 2010 - 18:59
I only have one Bristolian celebrity spot – Adam-Hart Davies (sp?) outside the children’s hospital. Presumably going in there to cheer the sick kids up.
August 10th, 2010 - 17:52
Ian McNabb – Icicle Works frontman, on his own having a pint in a pub in Redcar.
Paula Wilcox – actress, on the London Underground.
Leon Brittan – ex-MP, with his wife, on Darlington Station.
Tom Baker – in an Indian restaurant, Darlington again.
Sir Bobby Robson – at a book signing, granted, but he shook my hand and thanked me, and as an NUFC supporter that was a proud moment. A true gent.
Oh, and Gareth ‘Morty’ Mortimer – lead singer with the band Racing Cars (“They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?”), outside a pub in Manchester. Yeah, I know.
August 10th, 2010 - 17:55
I saw Woody Allen filming what turned out to be Match Point on Charing Cross Road. And I work for a publishing company, so I’ve seen Bradley Wiggins, Julie Walters and Terry Pratchett. That’s about it.
August 10th, 2010 - 17:56
Bumped (almost literally) into the Gallagher brothers at a Holiday Inn in Leicester, sometime in mid-1996. They were checking out as my dad was checking in. Liam was weaving drunkenly through the foyer and almost managed to miss the counter as he slapped down his key, then nearly bowled me over as he headed for the door. Noel, sauntering behind, came out with what is still my favourite line from a celebrity: “ignore our kid, he’s a twat.”
August 10th, 2010 - 18:48
This is so awesome, I wish I could compete
My only spots are: still-pretty-unknown New York band Interpol (went to a club with them after one of their first UK gigs and danced like a crazed loon); electropop songstress Little Boots when she was plain old Victoria Heskith singing with Dead Disco (made my then gf jealous…); Konnie Huq outside a Subway somewhere in West London; and Trevor Brooking when I was a little lad, he came to my school for some unknown reason and did autographs and the rest.
August 10th, 2010 - 18:50
(my parents nearly got knocked over by Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair in Cambridge once though, I think that’s pretty awesome)