Every celebrity I’ve ever seen
Here is every celebrity I've ever seen. This excludes celebrities seen in locations where you might expect to see celebrities, e.g. at a football match, theatre, comedy gig, etc. My friends seem to have better luck than me - a friend once saw Rod Hull sitting on his own in a Happy Eater. If there's a better description of pathos than that then I have yet to see it.
1. Dennis Waterman, Wimbledon, c 1988.
I'd gone to Wimbledon to buy a new joystick for my ZX Spectrum, and there was Denis Waterman, in a brown leather jacket and slightly tinted glasses. Just walking down the road, like any normal person might be. I think he was doing panto at the time which might explain why he was there. We didn't exchange any words. He just walked by. But I was a bit starstruck.
2. Paul Coia, tube station (possibly Tottenham Court Road), c 1991.
I think I was on my way to Tower Records or something. And there was Paul Coia, host of many now-forgotten TV quiz shows, just standing there. I did not see Debbie Greenwood. To be honest I was not as starstruck as when I saw Denis Waterman. It felt like my celebrity spotting was on a downward trajectory.
3. Roland Rivron, some garage in Sutton, possibly Shell, c 1993.
The 'Raw Sex' star was at the night pay window, asking for a pint of milk.
4. Mmloki Chrystie, outside Baker Street tube station, 1995.
That was better. Just standing there, on a bricky early mobile phone IIRC, outside the tube station, was the bloke out of Press Gang.
5. Jesse Birdsall, some bar possibly near Wardour Street which for some inexplicable reason had a Swiss theme (in fact it might have been called St Moritz), 1996.
I'd been to see a mate's band play to a crowd of about 10, which included the bloke out of Eldorado.
6. Chris Evans, accident and emergency department, UCL Hospital (I think), c 1998.
He'd broken his arm or had somesuch similar injury. He was wearing sunglasses. It was night-time. We all knew it was him but no-one went up to him. We were all hanging around with various injuries and illnesses. "Phone call for Christopher Evans?" said the receptionist, lazily. He walked up to the desk with a 'Yes, it's me' look on his face.
7. Tony Hawks, some pub in Wimbledon, about 2001.
It had been a fairly lean time of rubbing shoulders with the great and good. But when Tony Hawks (not the skateboarding man, the other one) sat at the next table and had a pint, that made up for it.
8. Jimmy White, dreadful pub somewhere, 2002.
He returned his burnt steak as he didn't like it. He was wearing a leather jacket and looked a little bit fed up.
9. James Brown, Dublin airport, 2004.
I was minding my own business in some tacky gift shop when I bumped into the Godfather of Soul. There he was! This is probably my biggest brush with celebrity to date.
10. Kevin McCloud, struggling with a pushchair in the Glastonbury mud, 2007.
I also narrowly missed seeing Charlie Brooker and Aisleyne Horgan Wallace as I was taking a shit in the long drop as they walked past. A regret.
So, there you have it. All the celebrities I've ever seen. I think in a lot of ways I've been lucky, in others I haven't. Maybe I missed Lemmy from Motorhead by a couple of seconds here, maybe I saw Paul Coia and was fortunate to do so. Who knows?
*update*
Since writing this I've remembered other celebrity spots from my past:
11. Graham Norton, somewhere near Covent Garden, about 2002. Looked a bit pissed off. Shorter than he looks on telly.
12. Phil Tufnell, on his way home from what appeared to have been a fairly nice evening out, at about 8am, near where I used to live, about 2003.
13. Mark Lamarr, at a Beautiful South gig back in about 1993.
14. Jonathan King, prowling around in what appeared, even in those days, to be quite an eerie fashion, Reading Festival, 1994.
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August 10th, 2010 - 19:50
I know someone who is an old friend of Sylvester Stallone’s. Apart from that? Stephen Fry appeared to me in a dream once, but I said something silly and it was all rather embarrassing.
August 10th, 2010 - 20:20
I was strong-armed to see Graham Norton’s act at the Arts Theatre by one of his friends – Covent Garden area – and paid £10 to ‘support him’. He was reasonably funny but I would really like to ask for the tenner back now he’s rich and famous. Preferably with interest.
August 10th, 2010 - 23:41
It feels a bit moronic still being impressed by spotting famous people, but I for one am a naive country boy by birth and just can’t help it. I have quite a few…
I’ve lived in London for the last year and seen plenty of slebs in that time, mainly in Soho; Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson (Ted and Ralph!) on Frith Street, Simon Callow in Soho Square, that bird who played Sonia in Eastenders (far more attractive in real life than expected) in Bar Italia, and a guy who I think was Bear Grylls (definitely some outdoorsy TV guy anyway), also in Bar Italia.
I also literally bumped into Liam Gallagher in Camden Market one boxing day a few years ago, I thought he might chin me but he just snarled threateningly. Ruby Wax came into my work once, she was a miserable cow. Oh, and Mel C from the Spice Girls, also at work. She was really lovely.
My best spot by far though was Amy Winehouse, who I found myself sitting opposite on the tube a last summer. When I tell people that they invariably ask how she looked, and they’re always disappointed when I tell them she looked quite happy and well.
Before London I lived in Bristol, where I saw Noel Edmonds once outside Borders bookshop, Michaela Strachen in a cafe on Whiteladies Road (both near the BBC of course), porn star Cathy Barry in my local Sainsburys, and Roni Size I can’t remember where.
I also saw Justin Lee Collins loads of times, but I think if you live in Bristol and haven’t seen JLC at one time or another then you’re simply a recluse.
August 11th, 2010 - 09:35
I must be the only person in Bristol who has yet to see JLC wandering around. This is a worry.
August 11th, 2010 - 19:27
Whiteladies Road is the place to be for JLC spotting, especially the Caffe Gusto outside Sainsburys. That’s also where I saw Strachan.
August 11th, 2010 - 19:31
Oh yeah, someone down there mentions Charlie from Casualty. I was behind him in a supermarket queue one time.
(Have I won yet?)
August 11th, 2010 - 09:40
I bumped into Luther Vandross once, in Soho. In fact, I think I may even have stepped on his foot. But he was the one who apologised. What a nice man, and in an odd way, so British.
August 11th, 2010 - 09:58
I’ve seen Vic and I’ve seen Bob, but never together…. until last month.
Saw them walking through Leicester Square together, acting completely normal – which was something of a disappointment.
And on the same day I bumped into Gok Wan in Pizza Express. The fat bastard.
August 11th, 2010 - 10:13
I once drunkenly fell backwards into Dean Windass while clutching a jug of cocktail at a university summer ball.
Also, I saw JLC idly browsing fridges at Cribbs Causeway.
August 11th, 2010 - 10:15
Bristol celeb spots:
I once saw JLC in the first class quiet carriage on a train from Temple Meads to Paddington. Only me and him in the carriage. Cheeky git was gabbing loudly on his mobile, so I gave him a dirty look. He responded in kind. JLC is now my mortal enemy.
In the impossibly posh (and crowded) Goldbrick House on Park Street a couple of months back, saw (and stalked) TV’s Nick Knowles, looking grizzled and unshaven but a magnet for the young ladies nonetheless. There were people from the Inbetweeners in there too, I think.
At TV Centre on Whiteladies as a kid I met: Terry Nutkins (large but jovial), Chris Packham (unprofessional, kept fluffing his lines) and the lady that was not Michela Strachan from the Really Wild Show, and on a separate occasion I met Keith Harris who was a bit weird.
Many years ago, HTV news presenter Peter Rowell driving down my road in an obviously blagged car. Obvious because it was branded on the side ‘HTV’s Peter Rowell, sponsored by Bryan Brothers’.
Bath celeb spots:
Ron Wood, the other week. Disguised in a hat and sunglasses, but it could only have been Ron Wood. The craggiest man going. You could climb his face without safety gear.
Anthony Head, multiple times. But then he lives around here.
August 11th, 2010 - 10:51
Alexei Sayle in The Lamb, Lamb’s Conduit Street, WC1. I think he lives just round the corner.
Helen Atkinson-Wood twice in a week – once outside the building in Leicester Square in which I used to work (her agent was based on the top floor) and then a few days later at a Robyn Hitchcock gig.
Kevin Eldon and Liza Tarbuck turned up for a gig by the late lamented Luckyband, in which a mate played guitar. The drummer’s girlfriend works for a showbiz agents firm (curiously the same one that represents Ms Atkinson-Wood).
Elbowed out of the way at the bar in Dingwalls by Lemmy, in urgent need of a refill for both himself and Wilko Johnson, who was seated nearby.
Almost run over in the paddock at Silverstone by Nick Mason.
Richard Baker at the 1971 London Motor Show!
The Woman Formerly Known As Mrs Larrington keeps bumping into low-rent Tories on public transport (Michael Portaloo, Shagger Norris) and once sat behind David Coulthard on a flight to Glasgow.
August 11th, 2010 - 10:56
Ah, a real shame you missed Brooker and Horgan-Wallace at Glastonbury, they were apparently a lot of fun at Glastonbury (and the lovely lady follows me on Twitter too).
August 11th, 2010 - 11:38
Stood on Rihannas toe in a club in barbados.
Richard Ashcroft strutting through Cheltenham Town Centre in a long white leather coat and sunglasses.
Met Fyfe Dangerfield (from the guillemots) in a pub, spoke to him as a dare, it all went wrong when it became apparent I was incredibly unfamiliar with his music.
Went clubbing with Hunter from gladiators
Also I think I also met that Jesse Birdsall guy (was he in the bill?) when I worked in a theatre. I worked in box office and upon finishing his baked potato in the cafe, he bypassed all the catering staff / management to walk round to reception and tell 16 year old me how little he’d enjoyed said potato. I think my reply was something like “Aw gutted.”
August 11th, 2010 - 11:59
Standing at a corner in Carmel, CA, trying to figure out which way to get back onto the main street. Guy behind me is mowing his lawn, turns off the lawnmower and asks me if I need directions. I turn round and it’s Clint Eastwood.
Made my day
August 11th, 2010 - 12:07
Having lived in London and worked in the lowest echelons of local media I have numerous spots from the lowest echelons of celebrity.
However as a teenager me and my mates once flicked the ‘V’s at Thatcher as she pulled out of Downing Street in a motorcade. We then fled for about two miles, shitting ourselves that Secret Service agents were going to “get us”.
They didn’t.
August 11th, 2010 - 12:29
I’ve got a Bristolian celeb for you – Charlie out of Casualty was using the pool in the big hotel (we were staying there as a freebie for work) near the Council House – you know, the one that was derelict for years and years and became a Swan or something.
August 11th, 2010 - 12:31
I also bumped into Trevor McDonald (literally) in Wells St off Oxford Street, years ago before he was ‘sirred’.
I won’t mention all the Dr Who celebs because that wouldn’t be fair as I used to go to loads of conventions and helped organise some (hence the Jon Pertwee meeting I mentioned above.
Saw Prince in a nightclub in Los Angeles. Very short as you can imagine.
August 12th, 2010 - 11:16
Prince once tried to pull a friend in a nightclub in Minneapolis. Her reaction was along the lines of “Piss off, shortarse!”.
August 11th, 2010 - 12:43
I Spotted…
*Sir Jimmy Savile (might not have been “Sir” back then) in Scarborough in 1988. He was out jogging (no surprise there), stopped off and said something but it’s to my eternal regret that I was so stunned, 8-year-old me didn’t take in a word of it and it’s lost forever.
*retired footballer Pierre van Hooijdonk (ex-Celtic, Nottingham Forest, Feyenoord etc.) outside Glasgow Queen St. station last week.
*David McLetchie, former leader of the Tory party at the Scottish Parliament – I know, what a futile task! Crossed at traffic lights in Edinburgh at the same time as him circa 2004.
August 11th, 2010 - 17:42
My celeb spots (excluding gigs and stuff) are:
Stephen K Amos, Saif Ali Khan (he’s a big bollywood star) and Stephen Hawking. I also accidentally walked into a VIP area in Edinburgh Udder Belly and got very close to Jim Bowen. Used work in Westminster and regularly used to see Adam Boulten (the Sky anchor) filming. And went through a phase where David Davis and I used to walk past each other on a regular basis and I think he started recognising me. Oh and I saw Ken Livingstone outside Embankment once – abnormally small head!
August 11th, 2010 - 23:32
My mam and I saw Jamie Lee Curtis in a supermarket in Dublin once. (I’m live there)
Her personal shopper\nutritionist (I assume) was removing items from the basket that were verboten.
We both felt quite chuffed that we could go home to our poverty and stuff our faces after that one.
Moving to London next month, so will probably be adding a few while there.
August 12th, 2010 - 11:25
another one, i could swear that jeffory archer came into mcdonalds i worked in once
i was standing beside the francisee and a manager came over to tell him that there was a jeffory wanting to talk to him, i looked up and some guy looked like him.
i doubt that archer would go into a mcdonalds in a regional town in n.ireland but maybe him and the francisee are in an evil bastard club!
August 12th, 2010 - 11:47
Playing this game with friends, my housemate always wins.
He offered to buy Ray Winstone a pint in a pub in Essex, to which he replied: “Don’t worry son, this one is on me.”
Top bloke apparently.
August 12th, 2010 - 16:45
Loads in London, none in my first ten days in Southsea, but there’s time…
In no particular order:
Simon Pegg – we were coming back from honeymoon in NY and saw him at the luggage carousel in Heathrow looking sunburned and annoyed. He knew we’d clocked him, we knew he knew.
Mark Kermode – loads of times on the tube.
Martin Freeman – pushing a pram past my former office in Soho.
Gok Wan – down the pub, wearing leather bondage trousers. Shorter than expected.
Mel Smith / Joe Cornish – sifting through DVDs in the big Oxford St HMV, seperate occasions. Mel was looking very grumpy and appeared to be disguised as Jake Blues…
Elvis Costello / Diana Krall – eating each other’s faces off near the Diana Krall CDs in the Jazz section of another HMV. Nauseating. He paid with his Declan MacManus card.
Danny Baker – perusing the Sound Of Music OST in the same HMV (Iused to work there)
James Hetfield and accompanying large man. Large man informed everybody that he was just shopping and didn’t want any attention.
Phil Jupitus – looking at Ian Dury records in a shop in Brighton.
Many more, but in places one might expect them (e.g. recording studios for musicians etc).
Every one of them has given me that ever so slight thrill of seeing someone famous, with the exception of Costello and Krall who seemed to onanise over her latest CD on a regular basis. Especially bad when she released a CD of songs he’d written…
August 12th, 2010 - 22:31
they’re all men?!
August 13th, 2010 - 10:28
I have *never* seen a female celebrity. Well, Peaches Geldof. But she was at a music festival where she had been “DJing” so I guess that’s an expected one, isn’t it.
August 13th, 2010 - 20:16
My list:
The man from TV’s Dead Ringers who wasn’t Jon Culshaw or Phil Cornwell or the bald one – walking through London’s West End looking like he was on his way to perform in a show
Melissa Bell (the third actress to play Lucy Robinson in Neighbours), Frazer Hines and Ted Rodgers – all backstage at the Lincoln Theatre Royal when I was sound recordist for a hospital radio presenter who was interviewing them
Richard Whiteley – on a train from his home village of Burley-in-Wharfedale to Leeds. IIRC his mobile rang and Beethoven’s Ode to Joy was his ringtone.
Andrew Neil – then editor of The Sunday Times, sitting near him on a train from London to Doncaster in 1992
Richard Cadell – the current ‘owner’ of Sooty, after a panto at the Grimsby Auditorium, 1996
Su Pollard – walking through the Angel Islington on a Sunday evening in May 2008. She was wearing a metallic blue dress and was revelling in everyone shouting “Hi-de-hi” at her.
I think that’s all of them on my list
October 20th, 2010 - 17:34
http://www.bukisa.com/articles/378066_lady-gaga
January 4th, 2011 - 11:59
You are a celeb magnet!!
January 4th, 2011 - 13:38
Non-work related celeb spots, in no particular order:
I’ll match your Dennis Waterman with a Rula Lenska, walking out of a crummy shopping centre in Woking in the mid-90s. She looked very glamorous.
Paul Weller, depositing garden rubbish at Woking town dump. He was driving a beautiful powder blue Mercedes and gave me one of those ‘I know you’ve recognised me, but you’re not going to say a word’ looks. I also saw him at Woking swimming pool. I remember thinking he was taller than I expected.
John Hurt, while wandering around Chelsea looking at buildings c.2001. We passed him twice. He gave us a funny look the second time.
David Mitchell, being jovial with friends in a pub in Kilburn last year. Not much to report there.
Damian Lewis – several times. He lives down the street I work on in Wandsworth and drives a Maserati.
Frank Lampard, yesterday, in a 4×4 while I was cycling past Chelsea’s training ground in Cobham (so, no surprise really).
Boris Johnson, cycling along Chelsea Embankment in his red beanie. But who hasn’t seen him?
I’m sure there are more. Among the work-related stuff, I’ve interviewed Terence Stamp about healthy eating (he was very smooth and ‘actorly’) and the utterly gorgeous and lovely Joanna Lumley about Ghurkas. My physio has a signed photo of Roger Moore thanking him for treatment. Does that count?
January 4th, 2011 - 13:41
Oo, just remembered: I think I *may* have seen Leonardo Di Caprio walking into the Redwood Lounge in San Francisco as I was leaving. I just glanced and remember thinking ‘That’s a familiar face’ and then he was past. He looked annoyed and arrogant and virtually walked straight through me. Cock.