You’re in power now
Goodbye, then, New Labour. Goodbye NuLieBore. Goodbye to blaming 'Gordy McBottler' for everything under the sun. Goodbye to 'Clown and Starling'. Goodbye to saying 'He sold our gold' every time you mention everything about the Prime Minister. Goodbye BLiar. Goodbye impotent rage of the out-of-power Tories. Goodbye whipping boy Brown. Goodbye to it all.
The dog days are over for little Englander pissants on messageboards roaring at PCgonemad and elfnsafety which youcouldn'tmakeup(eventhoughitturnsoutyoucould). You're in power now. This is what you wanted. Not quite exactly what you wanted - those pesky Liberal Democrats lurking behind David Cameron will no doubt take the brunt of all blame for anything that goes wrong between now and 2015 - but the end of Gordon Brown. Or Gordy McLiar. Or Gordon McClown. Or whatever hilarious slightly misspellings you could come up with today. Goodbye, too, to saying "Mugabe would be proud of you" when talking about the Government, or calling NuLab ZaNuLab.
It's all gone. All that raging. All that moaning about the people in power. Because Gordon Brown, the man who apparently singlehandedly destroyed this once-great country, is gone, and voted out. You're in power now. This is what you wanted. Sure, you can blame the PC Brigade for those times when St Cameron isn't as aggressive towards minorities or immigrants as you might have hoped; but, in the main, this is what you wanted. This is your guy.
Dog days are over, Tory bloggers too, including those Tory bloggers who always claimed not to be Tory bloggers until it became clear the Tories might win the general election. Writing in opposition is a lot easier than (occasionally) trying to defend the party in power, you might discover. Sure, there'll be a honeymoon period; there'll be those months, and maybe even years, when you can still blame Labour for everything. While there's still a deficit, you can wheel that one whenever you want... but you know, it might just begin to pall after a while. You never know.
It's easier to attack, and attack, and attack, while in opposition, tell a pack of lies about the Prime Minister, insinuate he's got mental health problems or is autistic - all of those really quite hilarious yuks are kind of off-limits now it's your guy in the big chair, I'm afraid. Might not be so easy when you've got to pretend that Michael Gove is competent, or George Osborne isn't a liability, and so on, and so on. Sure, you can get away with whispering about the Liberal contingent being 'out of their depth', but that won't wash after a while. After a while, mistakes can only be sourced to one place.
What will we do without Harriet HarPERSON to laugh at as the person who represents the PC Brigade in Government? How will we manage without that bogeywoman running things? What will we do without Jacqui Smith to insult? How will we manage to have adolescent laughs about whether you'd fuck people in the cabinet or not, when there are hardly any women there at all, and it's just a bunch of white middle-class men? It's not going to be easy. Maybe we can make fun of 'Cameron Cuties' instead, in an equally spectacular and tremendously fun and grown-up way; I'm sure we'll all look forward to that kind of marvellous fare.
There will be a lot of goodwill towards the new Government. Liberal Democrats and Tories alike have a bit of power. That blunts every single newspaper except the Mirror, because they alone endorsed Labour. Is Cleggeron going to get a bit of a free ride, like New Labour did with the 'Look I'm a fairly straight kind of guy' response to the Bernie Ecclestone donations? Probably, for a while, at least with a lot of the mainstream. If you watched Sky News or listened to the BBC's Nick Robinson yesterday you could have been forgiven for thinking Christ himself was walking into Downing Street.
But there will come a time when things don't quite seem so rosy. There will come a time. But this is what you wanted. You're in power now. And we'll see for just how long everyone can still blame Gordon and NuLieBore.
No related posts.
Buy my book, it’s great
Switch site
Donate
Recent Posts
- Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio…
- Children died
- The letters you never get around to sending
- Applying again
- I just sent Robin round – 2
Most Commented On
Recent Comments
- Iain on Applying again
- Roger on The letters you never get around to sending
- Dave Hodgkinson on The letters you never get around to sending
- droid on The letters you never get around to sending
- Rogue_Leader on The letters you never get around to sending
About Me
Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
If you're struggling to read the site please use the drop down box below to increase the text size.
May 12th, 2010 - 09:48
You’ve just put into words everything I feel-thank you
May 12th, 2010 - 10:13
***APPLAUSE***
May 12th, 2010 - 10:14
Given how long Labour people managed to keep on blaming Thatcher, I think ZaNuLieBore could run and run…
May 16th, 2010 - 23:20
Well, seeing as how the Thatcher/Major governments essentially gutted the industrial heartlands putting untold numbers out of work, defunded the NHS, privatised our utilities so their mates could make a killing and then privatised the railways in an irreversible manner seemingly out of spite when the writing was on the wall, whereas New Labour largely just finessed things a bit and gave us similar neoliberalism with a bit more public spending as a softener, I can’t see as how it’s a fair comparison.
The New Labour policies that are likely to remain in place are a drop in the ocean compared to the havoc wrought by Thatcher’s hatchet.
May 12th, 2010 - 10:18
I never really went in for the silly anti-labour abuse – since I’m an Aspie, I can hardly bash Gordon for being a social klutz – but should I direct infantile abuse at the Tories? I could call them toffs – but then a third of MPs are public school educated (compared to 7% of the population), so that’s pretty daft, too. Public school educated rich thickie might do for George Osborne, I suppose, but it doesn’t really get to the bottom of it. Or perhaps it does. What does it matter?
I could spend my whole life researching and writing about Tory policy failings, but it wouldn’t make a blind bit of fucking difference.
These people “in power” don’t give a shit about people like me – people who are poor, for example, because they were silly enough to have a disabled child and look after it while struggling on a single vocational professional income. There are plenty of us about. And in the years ahead, I’m pretty sure we’ll all be hugely crapped upon, like so many at the bottom of the heap. But that would probably have been the case whoever had “won” the election.
May 12th, 2010 - 10:35
Nah – Tories still blame Labour for the economic disasters of the Tory period. Never underestimate blind, ignorant prejudice! It still produces the best empty rhetoric.
May 12th, 2010 - 10:59
Please, do a mock retraction from a tabloid which once vilified Clegg but has now decided he’s not so bad after all
May 12th, 2010 - 11:35
Well said Anton!
May 12th, 2010 - 11:43
People blamed the 79 – 97 Conservative Government well into the Labour government. Indeed, I’m not sure that they ever stopped. Or indeed saying that their run-down of the UK infrastructure is still having effects today isn’t essentially correct.
May 12th, 2010 - 12:18
Personally, I’m looking forward to trolling right wing wingnuts by saying ‘well, we STILL don’t have an elected PM, this one didn’t get an elected majority either’.
May 12th, 2010 - 13:47
I totally agree.
I hope that the Tories don’t ruin the country but their track record speaks volumes.
I liked Gordon Brown and even though he wasn’t elected I felt he did a good job in a bad situation. I feel his leadership was badly tainted as he had to spend it cleaning up after Tony Blair.
May 12th, 2010 - 16:09
No political point here except one maybe.Nor sympathy required as I was only on it to get a flavour.Banned by Mail mods in the space of one day.A record or what?
Apparently my comments were not appreciated by the fascist,racist wing at all.
Strange how the mods accept comments like and I quote”GORDON BROWN KILL KILL KILL”but ban someone for rebuking that particular poster.
Cunts.
May 12th, 2010 - 20:42
The Daily Mail’s mods are both cunts and fuckers.
Not for the self-evident reason that, well, they work for The Daily Mail, but because they NEVER publish my comments, even though I make sure not to swear in them (unlike an accidental post I made ages ago on The Grauniad’s CiF aimed at another poster – “Why don’t you fuck off you tedious Yank cunt” – which Wildean wit earned me a complete ban; I had to re-subscribe under a different name, from a different email address) and even though my last one was calculated to appeal to them (in their coverage of Nigel Farrago’s aviational fiasco they made the utterly irrelevant point that the flying machine was of Polish design and manufacture, in response to which I posted, “What in God’s name was a leading light of UKIP doing in a POLISH plane? If he’d been in a Spitfire he would never have crashed!”).
Bastards.
May 12th, 2010 - 20:35
“Goodbye, too, to saying “Mugabe would be proud of you” when talking about the Government, or calling NuLab ZaNuLab.”
Speaking of which, old habits die hard with this utterly tedious cunt:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/may/12/liam-fox-mod-budget-defence?showallcomments=true#CommentKey:999bf8b2-0fc2-48a6-8eaf-35959cff1908
Gamebird
12 May 2010, 5:27PM
…Trident is not being replaced, what is being replaced are the submarines to mount the weapons system in… ZANULabour wanted to replace four SSBN’s with three which means there would be gaps. You want to make significant cuts then you cut the money going to the NHS, you cut the money we are spending on welfare benefits, you cut or eliminate the money given in foreign aid. We junk the non-jobs that ZANULAbour created.
———————-
I’ve always hated that ZaNuLabour epithet with a righteous passion, not because it’s insulting – I couldn’t give a flying monkey’s about the feelings of politicians and their supporters, but because it’s so pathetically infantile, because every time some eye-wateringly unimaginitive rightwing arsewit quoted it I could just picture them hunched over their keyboard smirking and chuckling (not even a proper chuckle, but that awful snorting noise sixth-form wags make that sounds like a pig being rimmed) as they typed it and I just wanted to reach through the screen of their monitor, grab them by the throat and scream into each ear in turn, “Your self-satisfied smuggery makes me want to vomit down your throat!” at which point I would do just that, ramming my puke down their gullet with a meat tenderiser until they choked and spluttered on it, before administering the coup-de-grace by emerging fully from the screen and kicking them slowly to death on the semen-encrusted-tissue-strewn floor of their fetid den.
Or something like that.
It’s possible that I may need psychiatric help…
May 12th, 2010 - 23:33
Quite – there is nothing so unedifying as a frothing right wing looper – particularly so when they are so crass and inarticulate they have to parrot epithets and insults spoon-fed them by shitrags such as the Mail. ‘Elf and Safety’ and ‘PC gone Mad’-bloody hell can’t Right wing nut-jobs even think of a new line in insults??-One is reminded of a scene in Monty Python where John Cleese sits in a garden on a patio chair getting himself riled up into an anti left wing tirade until he starts waving his fist shouting ‘kill the Commie bastards’ before his wife shouts off-screen ‘time for your tea dear’ and Cleese’s character meekly trudges off to do his wife’s bidding-THAT is how I perceive most Mail Comment contributors..
May 12th, 2010 - 23:43
Re crappy ‘ZanuLieBore’ insult -Oh and didn’t the charming leader of Zanu-PF, Cuddly Uncle Bob Mugabe throw his hat into the ring saying he preferred Cameron-wriggle out of that one, you Tory bastards….
May 13th, 2010 - 08:31
All true, but now we can expect disgruntled Labour trolls coining hilarious phrases such as ‘the Con.Dem.Nation’.
There will always be a disenfranchised, self-righteous, impotent mass venting its rage on internet forums; it’s just that the flavour has changed.
I’m optimistic (well, hopeful) that the coalition will work.
May 13th, 2010 - 11:06
Does anyone else think that “Cleggeron” sounds like an unconvincing Dr Who monster, or is it just me?
May 13th, 2010 - 16:42
Yes! And “Cameregg” sounds like an Ikea name for some kind of space-age style chair…
May 13th, 2010 - 14:02
I’d love to think such reasoning was having an effect, but then I read this:
http://order-order.com/2010/05/13/dont-mean-to-gloat-but-you-read-it-here-first/
Think we’ve a way to go before they give up their ‘GOTCHA!’ sensibilities.
May 13th, 2010 - 20:19
Having seen that the coalition is going to change the rules on the percentage needed to win a no confidence motion from 50% + 1 to 55%, can I be the first to say of the new regime that “Mugabe would be proud of you”