Goodbye, then, New Labour. Goodbye NuLieBore. Goodbye to blaming 'Gordy McBottler' for everything under the sun. Goodbye to 'Clown and Starling'. Goodbye to saying 'He sold our gold' every time you mention everything about the Prime Minister. Goodbye BLiar. Goodbye impotent rage of the out-of-power Tories. Goodbye whipping boy Brown. Goodbye to it all.
The dog days are over for little Englander pissants on messageboards roaring at PCgonemad and elfnsafety which youcouldn'tmakeup(eventhoughitturnsoutyoucould). You're in power now. This is what you wanted. Not quite exactly what you wanted - those pesky Liberal Democrats lurking behind David Cameron will no doubt take the brunt of all blame for anything that goes wrong between now and 2015 - but the end of Gordon Brown. Or Gordy McLiar. Or Gordon McClown. Or whatever hilarious slightly misspellings you could come up with today. Goodbye, too, to saying "Mugabe would be proud of you" when talking about the Government, or calling NuLab ZaNuLab.
It's all gone. All that raging. All that moaning about the people in power. Because Gordon Brown, the man who apparently singlehandedly destroyed this once-great country, is gone, and voted out. You're in power now. This is what you wanted. Sure, you can blame the PC Brigade for those times when St Cameron isn't as aggressive towards minorities or immigrants as you might have hoped; but, in the main, this is what you wanted. This is your guy.
Dog days are over, Tory bloggers too, including those Tory bloggers who always claimed not to be Tory bloggers until it became clear the Tories might win the general election. Writing in opposition is a lot easier than (occasionally) trying to defend the party in power, you might discover. Sure, there'll be a honeymoon period; there'll be those months, and maybe even years, when you can still blame Labour for everything. While there's still a deficit, you can wheel that one whenever you want... but you know, it might just begin to pall after a while. You never know.
It's easier to attack, and attack, and attack, while in opposition, tell a pack of lies about the Prime Minister, insinuate he's got mental health problems or is autistic - all of those really quite hilarious yuks are kind of off-limits now it's your guy in the big chair, I'm afraid. Might not be so easy when you've got to pretend that Michael Gove is competent, or George Osborne isn't a liability, and so on, and so on. Sure, you can get away with whispering about the Liberal contingent being 'out of their depth', but that won't wash after a while. After a while, mistakes can only be sourced to one place.
What will we do without Harriet HarPERSON to laugh at as the person who represents the PC Brigade in Government? How will we manage without that bogeywoman running things? What will we do without Jacqui Smith to insult? How will we manage to have adolescent laughs about whether you'd fuck people in the cabinet or not, when there are hardly any women there at all, and it's just a bunch of white middle-class men? It's not going to be easy. Maybe we can make fun of 'Cameron Cuties' instead, in an equally spectacular and tremendously fun and grown-up way; I'm sure we'll all look forward to that kind of marvellous fare.
There will be a lot of goodwill towards the new Government. Liberal Democrats and Tories alike have a bit of power. That blunts every single newspaper except the Mirror, because they alone endorsed Labour. Is Cleggeron going to get a bit of a free ride, like New Labour did with the 'Look I'm a fairly straight kind of guy' response to the Bernie Ecclestone donations? Probably, for a while, at least with a lot of the mainstream. If you watched Sky News or listened to the BBC's Nick Robinson yesterday you could have been forgiven for thinking Christ himself was walking into Downing Street.
But there will come a time when things don't quite seem so rosy. There will come a time. But this is what you wanted. You're in power now. And we'll see for just how long everyone can still blame Gordon and NuLieBore.
No related posts.