THE election campaign exploded like so much egg yolk yesterday as a man threw a giant punning opportunity at political reporters.
"It's incredible," said one time-poor political hack, sighing with relief as he phoned in some lacklustre copy while ordering an Olympic Breakfast at motorway services. "We'd all had a bash at the volcanic ash cloud of doom analogies last week, sure. But this is gold-dust. Real, eggy gold dust.
"Instead of another day of tedium trying to write about boring stuff like unemployment figures, or things, we can just get cracking - haha! - on some top-class pun work."
Reporters scrambled (hoho) into action yesterday lunchtime after hearing that Tory leader David Cameron had had an egg, believed to be from a real live chicken, thrown in his general election, sorry, general direction. Some said it was eggcelent. Others eggstraordinary. (Quite a lot of them went for the easy 'egg/ex' option, if we're honest.)
Dave Dong, political correspondent for someone or other, spoke of his delight at the ovoid projectile as he copied-and-pasted some asinine quotes into the body of a story he was working on.
"It's eggstra-special," he squawked. "Cameron's really come out of his shell in what has been a curate's egg election campaign for him so far. The yolk certainly wasn't on him. He didn't end up with egg on his face. Perhaps he should worry more about Clegg than egg! It was a bit unclucky for the Tory leader. Ruffled his feathers. I wonder if the person who threw it will go up before the beak? Will he have to shell out for a fine? Or will he be ome-lette off with a warning? We're often cooped up on the campaign trail, but this is ridiculous, as sure as eggs is eggs. Is Cameron telling voters to put all their eggs in one basket by voting Tory? Be fair though, he told a joke which cracked everyone up. He kept his sunny side up. He certainly wasn't chicken. If anything, he was a bit hard boiled. But still a good egg. I hope no-one poaches these puns. It was a bit albumen-tal there for a while. No...? You think I'm over-egging it? Oh, please yourselves..."
A Tory party spokesman said: "We're delighted that today's election coverage will be dominated by thoughts about David Cameron stoically dealing with the challenge presented by a flying piece of food, rather than anything to do with policy. In fact, we've hired someone to chuck milk, cheese and butter at him tomorrow and we're hoping for a whole host of dairy-related puns."
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- Equal opportunity bullying
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