The prospect of a Conservative Government could be something that fills our kneejerking friends in the tabloids with equal amounts of delight and revulsion. Sure, these are the people they've been telling us to vote for, for the past few years, who will cut through the red tape, demolish the PC Brigade, end yuman rites, get rid of elfnsafety, and generally make Britain into a much more marvellous place.
Except. What then? No-one's going to go for a ride on the ghost train if there's nothing to be scared about. Well fear not - or rather, keep on fearing as much as possible. Because there's already a new target in the crosshairs for when New Labour get kicked out of office - the bloated and evil public sector, draining our money while we hardworking Brits are struggling along.
As with MPs' expenses, it is of course a bit rich for journalists of all people to be bleating about a venal expenses culture, but that's beside the point. What's important is where this is going: the same old demonising is going on - not just with the immigrant single mother tribunal winner who won Daily Mail Outrage Bingo on yesterday's front page, but with the civil servants who are going to be labelled as bloated, outrageous, expensive and worth getting rid of.
Don't fret. It's not as if our papers are going to run out of things to be worried about, or to try and make us worried about, even if their chosen candidate Samantha Cameron does become Prime Minister. The public sector is going to take a hell of a pasting, with many more tales like this stoking up the anger in order to make a cull of jobs seem all the more palatable, whether or not the eventual victims are the 'fat cats' at the top or not.
The diversity Nazis, health and safety Gestapo, political correctness Stasi and human rights KGB will still be around too, as well as the disgusting pinko BBC. When Labour have been in power, it's been assumed that it's all been a big plot led from the top; when (and if) SamCam takes charge, it will be portrayed as an unlanceable boil constantly frustrating Honest Cameron's attempts to put loads of people on the dole get rid of red tape, put loads of people on the dole streamline public services and put loads of people on the dole make Government smaller.
If Cameron does win - and it looks like he will, despite the fact he's doing his best to scuttle the ship - and doesn't do exactly what the tabloids want in terms of turning back the clock to the 1950s, he'll be cut some slack at first. New Labour's legacy will be blamed. These things take time. It's those pesky liberals who are infecting the bloated state who are at fault. There are other bogeymen to be shone a torch on and made to look scary first. Eventually, of course, Cameron may be turned upon by his cheerleaders, but that's a long time away. Don't think for a moment that a Conservative Government will stop the fearmongering - in a lot of ways, it's just beginning.
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