A NEWSPAPER editor has confessed to being 'confused' by what to think about so-called 'weblog person' and so-called 'internet personality on the Twitter thing that I never look at' Ellie Gellard.
"I mean, obviously for the first time in the history of everything ever, we've decided that we recognise that the internet exists," he said, mopping his brow with a monogrammed handkerchief his wife bought him for Christmas. "And now we've got to try and work out who this person is and what we should think about her. Clearly she's evil because she says she's a socialist and is backing the awful Gordon Brown at the election, we know that.
"But, phwoooar, eh? Get a load of that on the front page! Wahey! Lovely!"
The editor went on: "Of course, when it's someone off the internet, we're allowed to point out that they may have written some time ago something which now appears to contradict their current position. Not that we'd ever do anything like that ourselves, time after time, and walk away whistling, hoping that no-one would notice our crass errors.
"Most of the time we happily look down our ruddy-coloured hairy noses at bloggers and internet people, as is right and proper, but when we need to there's a whole slew of Tory cheerleading cunts to help us stick the boot in on this one. Marvellous scenes."
A Fleet Street Colleague, who asked not to be named, said: "Fuck all that shit. Some fucking woman has gone and won money from a tribunal. It's political fucking correctness gone mad. And she's one of them, as well."