Enemies of Reason Poundshop potshots at the media moral maze.

Music lovers tell Keane: We’re horrified by you

TINKLING middle-of-the-road popsters Keane have been turned on by an angry public after claiming they were 'horrified' to have their music used by the Conservative Party at their manifesto launch.

Thousands of music-loving punters could only retort "Jesus, that's a bit rich coming from you lot, isn't it?" after having been horrified by the entire oeuvre of the Battle-based gloom-mongers.

"Look, I've been thoroughly appalled by pretty much everything Keane have ever done," simmered Janet McCracken, 33, from Wythenshawe. "But do I make a big song and dance about it? Oh no. I just let it slide. Well no longer.

"You say you're annoyed you're being used by the Tories? You should be fucking grateful anyone plays your otiose moans at all in the first place. In a fair and decent world, you'd be happy to have Josef Fritzl playing your meandering banality, let alone the Tories - who are, I'm sorry to break this to you, your bloody home counties whitebread demographic."

A spokesman for Keane said: "To be frank with you, we're clinging on with our fingertips to any spectral trace of coolness. It's great business for a band as mediocre and tedious as Keane to be associated with frumpy and old-fashioned ideas like those of the Conservative Party."

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