Unsightly ‘Dacre’ ruins Daily Mail’s chances in election
THE Daily Mail scuppered its chances of being taken seriously as a newspaper yesterday when it took off its size 13 steel toecapped boots to reveal an unsightly 'Dacre'.
The ugly growth may have turned the public's opinion against the Mail at election time by insisting the Mail run a pointless story about what Sarah Brown's toes looked like.
One Mail reporter said: "It's ironic really when you consider that Sarah Brown was at an event celebrating women's achievements, but all anyone can talk about is how this horrible little Dacre made the Mail look so ugly by writing about her toes. It's almost as if the Mail picked the occasion to make themselves look horrible to the public."
One cosmetic surgeon said: "The easiest thing for the Mail to do would be to get this unpleasant little Dacre removed as soon as possible. Just a few minutes with a scalpel and the Mail would look so much better. Failing that, you could just try and burn him off with a lighter.
"Besides, who really cares what people's feet look like? I've seen all sorts - weeping sores, exploded boils, septic wounds... and yet nothing as disgusting as that Dacre right in the middle of the Mail's face."
A Daily Mail spokesman said: "LOL, SARAH BROWN'S FEET. HURGH HURGH."
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April 12th, 2010 - 09:18
The more I see photos of this Dacre, the more I wonder exactly how much of him is still as nature intended. Of course, nature abhors a vacuum, which would explain why it’s been lobbing the teeth from the Alien (thought perhaps less pointy) at him.
April 12th, 2010 - 09:48
It is a truly disgraceful article and thankfully some comments are pointing out what a crock it is. Honestly, just when you think they can’t get any lower, they surpass themselves!
April 12th, 2010 - 11:12
I can’t imagine why Miriam González Durántez has decided to stay out of the political limelight….
Actually, talking of her, I’m amazed that the right-wing press hasn’t yet hounded her for not wanting to apply for British citizenship. I’m sure that’ll happen soon enough.
April 12th, 2010 - 11:15
At the bottom of the Mail article:
Comments (60) No comments have so far been submitted.
Why not be the first to send us your thoughts, or debate this issue live on our message boards
So 60 comments, and not a single one of them deemed publishable.
April 12th, 2010 - 11:43
@Smogo – The Fail can’t decide whether they quite like the fact Miriam hasn’t applied for citizenship and therefore isn’t stealing our jobs/votes/small children, or whether she’s a horrible woman who is so selfish she won’t even vote for her own husband to be elected. Because, y’know, the cow actually puts her job and childcare issues further up her own agenda than following her husband round like a lovesick puppy.
On a similar note, why does the Fail insist on calling her ‘Miriam Clegg’? That’s NOT her name!
April 12th, 2010 - 12:11
I got a black toenail yesterday cos I went for a long run. I’m keeping it well covered today, in case people see it and decide that I can’t do my job, or shouldn’t be seen in public, or something.
Love this quote: “She has been placed in direct competition with David Cameron’s wife Samantha, and this will do little to boost her credential’s against ‘SamCam’.”
First: “She has been placed in direct competition with David Cameron’s wife Samantha, by us, and for absolutely no bloody reason whatsoever” and second, the punctuation by the reporter and his/her sub has done little to boost the Mail’s credential’s against the drunken mutterings of the local tramp.
April 12th, 2010 - 18:40
Who is this person Daily Mail Reporter? Where does s/he live and how much did the house cost?
April 13th, 2010 - 11:40
Have you ever seen How To Get Ahead In Advertising? That’s how I imagine Mr Dacre’s pus-filled pate arising.
April 14th, 2010 - 07:07
Impossible to think of Dacre without being reminded of the much missed Monkey Dust.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfV3OuN57Bk
April 17th, 2010 - 23:26
My toe crosses over like Sarah Brown’s does. I’m thrilled to bits that Daily Mail readers will not be attracted to me.