Ryanair bewilderingly proud of latest laugh-free press release
NEVER-KNOWINGLY unsmug airline Ryanair has glibly chucked out another chuckle-free press release about something or other.
The shit airline, whose marketing arrogance is in direct proportion to the awfulness of travel experienced by its passengers, said something they thought was funny about, oh who knows what this time - and remained defiantly pleased with themselves, despite no-one else in the world finding it remotely interesting, or good, or entertaining.
"We're delighted to release this latest masterwork," roared Ryanair's head of publicity Eric Shite. "This is probably the funniest one we've done yet! We were all falling around in the office and we're pretty sure everyone else is as well."
When told that in fact no-one in the entire world had found the press release funny, and that it had been met by customers and journalists alike with a resigned shrug and a muttering of "Christ, I'd rather fly with anyone but those fuckers - if only easyJet did more routes I'd never have to give those pricks any money at all", Mr Shite crowed: "But this is brilliant!
"That's exactly the kind of brand values we want. We want people to think we're a bunch of loathsome and yet inexplicably smug weasels and that they physically want to hurt themselves for flying with us. So this latest effort from us is right on the money.
"What the fuck are you going to do, get a coach to Bratislava for an ultimately disappointing long weekend? I don't think so!"
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April 12th, 2010 - 12:27
“Christ, I’d rather fly with anyone but those fuckers – if only easyJet did more routes I’d never have to give those pricks any money at all”,
Oh God yes.
April 13th, 2010 - 11:00
It was a stupid thing to say though..”I am willing to bet my flat and its contents that..” Just opens her up to this sort of stuff from Ryanair.
December 24th, 2011 - 19:17
Yes, I don’t think she was wrong. Just stupid.
That was inevitable, cos Ryanair provide the punctuality figures and you can always find someone to say “I like that” , or 8 out of 10 cats prefer birdshit.