The proof at last!
For years we've been wondering if Britain really has gone mad. Sure, we had suspicions, but did we know for sure? Thankfully, today we finally have that proof.
Proof Britain really has gone mad! Yes, who could argue with that? A fine just for selling a goldfish?! Bonkers Britain! Youcouldn'tmakeitup! Let's see how the naysayers, who think Britain hasn't really gone mad, try and wriggle their way out of this one, eh? Eh? Impossible! The conclusive proof! The smoking gun! The slamdunk!
The pair pleaded guilty at Trafford Magistrates Court to selling the fish to a person under 16. They also admitted causing unnecessary suffering to a cockatiel by failing to provide appropriate care and treatment.
Oh I see, causing unnecessary suffering to an animal.
Still, Bonkers Britain eh? Eh? Isn't it bonkers that people are being fined for causing unnecessary suffering to an animal? Isn't it? Why can't we just cause as much unnecessary suffering as we like to animals? Eh? Eh? Youcouldn'tmakeitup! You couldn't! I read in the paper the other day that some old lady got fined a billion pounds and thrown in jail for selling a goldfish, whereas all those pedalos are allowed free Sky Sports and Jacuzzis and kiddie porn mags when they're in jail - even though they don't send them to jail because they'd rather lock up hard-working taxpayers - because of human rights or something... this country...!
Is it really the proof that Britain's really gone mad? I'm not so sure.
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March 31st, 2010 - 10:47
Is “My nanny betrayed me” also Proof?
March 31st, 2010 - 10:50
It’s front page of the Mail as well (I think).
March 31st, 2010 - 11:07
I note Heather Mills is on the front also, I thought she was a devil woman who be-spoilt a national icon?
How things change.
March 31st, 2010 - 11:12
I think my favourite part of this is the sub-headline “Tearful Heather: My nanny betrayed me” following on from the previous post and the Express front page with the sub headline: “How Heather Mills reduced her loyal nanny to tears”.
Nothing like a bit of contrariness to keep your readers angry.
March 31st, 2010 - 12:03
Not just that… Also on today’s cover – How To Stay Slim Forever! sitting opposite Chocolate Cuts Heart Disease! So…. which is it to be, stay slim or avoid heart disease? I can feel the rage boiling in me already….
March 31st, 2010 - 11:28
Even the arseing BBC ran with the fined for selling a goldfish hook. Only later going on to add that the pet shop in question had sold a pet to someone who, having learning difficulties, had scalded it to death in a cup of coffee, and that they hadn’t taken proper care of the animals in their care. The BBC! this one you couldn’t make up, that last bit of hope for UK journalism curled up and hid in a corner this morning.
March 31st, 2010 - 11:58
The sentence this lady was given does seem a bit draconian, although you can bet that if it was “dog” or “cat” that was mistreated instead of “cockatiel” the fine wouldn’t have been so mocked.
It’s got all the button-pushing elements though: “great-grandmother victimised by JOBSWORTH COUNCIL STING that she was probably set up to fail, given how the boy looked at least 56 because he was quite tall, and also, no bingo for the old lady and by the way her nephew is Will Mellor!”
Headline news in two national newspapers, though? Maybe Britain really HAS gone bonkers!!oneone
March 31st, 2010 - 12:33
Nice picture of a goldfish too. In case no-one knows what a goldfish looks like.
There was me thinking they were blue.
March 31st, 2010 - 12:42
Who said mad was bad? Express readers have been MAD AS FUCK for years (in the angry sense of the word) but, who needs context and meaning.
I would prefer, and possibly laugh at, BRITAIN HAS GONE MENTAL. I would then raise my flag, my drink and my happiness to such a proud and wonderful land. Oh, the joys, the agenda, the fucking downright pointlessness of today’s tree-press.
March 31st, 2010 - 12:54
Actually, the Daily Express itself is proof that Britain’s gone mad. Or at least has some kind of brain infection.
March 31st, 2010 - 15:09
I do find it odd how The Mail and The Daily Express think it’s ok to break the law as long as you’re old, from a certain demographic and preferably a grandparent. Geez…double standards much?
March 31st, 2010 - 20:41
It’s okay to break the law if it’s something they deem ridiculous. Everything else deserves a hanging sentence.
March 31st, 2010 - 20:49
I think it might be because they think old white people form the bulk of their readership. Either that or you’re allowed to commit crimes when you’re old, because you’ve paid your taxes or something.
March 31st, 2010 - 20:44
Well, The Metro seems to read more like The Daily Mail and The Express at the moment.
This was the headline glaring at me from The Metro today.
“Pet shop great-grandmother tagged for selling goldfish to 14-year-old boy”
Link: http://www.metro.co.uk/news/819836-pet-shop-great-grandmother-tagged-for-selling-goldfish-to-14-year-old
Time to start avoiding The Metro me thinks.
April 1st, 2010 - 00:11
“Chocolate cuts heart disease.”
The proof.
April 1st, 2010 - 04:20
let’s extend the rationale here, of being really prominent with a shocking headline and burying the qualifying details in the copy:
ROONEY TO MISS WORLD CUP
Barry Rooney of Govan will miss the world cup as he’ll be at work on the oil rig with no telly. Barry said ‘the money’s great, I’m not a football fan, and Scotland aren’t in it, so I’m not arsed’
THE BEATLES ARE DEAD
2 of the beatles are dead
PRINCESS DI AND MICHAEL JACKSON ALIVE
Diana, Princess of Wales and queen of hearts, and Michael Jackson, child molester and king of pop, are kept alive in a new series of photos.
They caused suffering to animals, surely the fine was more for that than for selling a goldfish?
April 1st, 2010 - 06:18
The goldfish issue is actually a serious enough in itself, as I know from personal experience. My daughters age circa 12 and 10, decided to buy four mice, knowing we had forbade keeping pets because their younger brother is profoundly autistic and liable to inadvertantly hurt them. They had the best of intentions – the animals were being kept in appalling conditions, but what they should have done was ring the RSPCA. They kept the mice hidden from for months and we only discovered them when my autistic son found one and threw it out the bedroom window (amazingly, the poor creature didn’t die). Kids should never be sold pet animals, it puts the animals at risk of ill treatment.