There's an article by Allison Pearson over at the Mail which I won't link to partly because I assume it's a bit of flamebait, and partly because it's such immensely awful shite, it's unbearable and I wouldn't want to put anyone through the ordeal of reading it. Still, here's a taste:
If Gordon Brown is re-elected as prime minister in May . . . I warn you not to speak English or even to be English (try being Scottish, that should help).
I warn you not to put orange peel in the wrong rubbish bin - that'll cost you £5,000 and a suspended sentence.
I warn you not to save for a home with a decent postcode because that will mark you out as their enemy and they will punish you.
I warn you not to be middle class. Above all, I warn you to book that one-way family ticket to New Zealand.
Trust me, they'll be selling fast.
To which I think the right response is: I hope you fuck off as far away as is humanly possible, Pearson, whether Labour win or not. Antarctica would be a decent shout, though I pity the poor fucking penguins. Actually, anywhere that you're unable to communicate your miserable dribblings to us will do fine.