She’s back again!
Thank goodness. We can all relax. All is right with the world. Because it's a Monday morning and...
Yes! There she is, Princess Diana, smiling away at some more cooked-up nonsense about her own death. Ah, time was when you were never more than 24 hours away from a new Diana front page at the Express... now we've had to wait a while, but finally, she's back. Even in the lean times, the Express managed to churn out a Diana page on a Monday morning, regardless of whether anything new had been discovered or not (it obviously hadn't), but it has been a while now, hasn't it? Diana Mondays appeared to have gone the way of, well, journalism at the Express.
If the photo accurately represented what Diana's ghost might think of the Express's obsession with her, I think she'd have her head in her hands and be tutting away as if to say "Oh, for fuck's sake. Again? Really? You've found some more shit to stir up? Look, I didn't wear a seatbelt. Otherwise, I'd still be alive, even if a Fiat Uno - the international assassin's vehicle of choice - had caused the crash, even if Henri Paul hadn't been drunk, even if there was a massive conspiracy, even if they used a different body for his blood sample... I'D STILL BE ALIVE if I'd worn a seatbelt... don't you get it?"
Lovely to see her back, though. I had worried that the Express had a new policy of not mentioning the latest crazy theories about Diana's death, out of some sort of respect for the dead or something (!), or because they felt that, you know, all the other stories they'd done hadn't ever achieved anything of any note at all, and that furthermore their bizarre fixation with conspiracy theories surrounding her death had, in many people's eyes, lowered the Express as a newspaper and a trustworthy source of information.
But apparently not. Full steam ahead! More Diana! More conspiracy theories! Diana Mondays are back!
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March 15th, 2010 - 09:59
and of course it all down to those nasty french frogs
March 15th, 2010 - 10:55
Even when it’s not a Diana Monday, the Express’s front page on Monday rarely has any actual news – as in current events – on it. I am convinced they throw Monday’s paper together on Saturday afternoon and then fuck off home.
March 15th, 2010 - 11:15
If it’s even possible, let’s set aside the ridiculous story for a moment. Perhaps I’m reading too much into this but I even find the wording of the headline troubling. It doesn’t read ‘French Government ‘Set Up’ Diana’s Driver’. No, it simply says that it was the ‘French’. Every last one of them. Neatly plays into their interminable xenophobic narrative, doesn’t it? The French, all of them, killed the People’s Princess. This will be reason 37 in the Express dossier as to why we should leave the EU.
March 15th, 2010 - 11:45
How dare they! The Beastly French cover up important Facts concerning the death of the People’s Princess, and on the same page the Express big up a competition to win a FRENCH camper van?
(Is outraged)
March 15th, 2010 - 11:48
A welcome return! Sadly this toss sells them newspapers so it looks like any port in a storm.
Will it be Maddie next? Or a photo of some toast?
March 15th, 2010 - 13:02
Yes! Diana, Maddie, and the Holy Toast – I need that story now. Someone get out the photoshop for a toast version of M in the arms of Di, like a Pieta for Our Times, and we’ll crank up the twitter ‘news’ until some muppet paper picks it up…
March 15th, 2010 - 13:33
It makes a nice distraction from the tedious “No jobs unless you are Polish” sidebar.
March 15th, 2010 - 13:35
Plus, more ‘Fury’. A classic Express page that I may actually buy as a souvenier (French word, oopsie).
Perhaps not, seeing as even if the Express paid me a £36,000 camper van every time I bought one of their shitrags, I still wouldn’t buy one.
March 15th, 2010 - 13:38
It’s the Fourth Estate’s version of Pink Floyd playing “Comfortably Numb” during the encore. It’d feel wrong without it.
So the French are being devious yet the Express want to give away a Peugeot Campervan? I smell something fishy.
March 16th, 2010 - 11:05
It’s probably bouillabaisse. With some /really/ stinky rouille. Typical…
March 19th, 2010 - 11:45
It’s going some when BOTH front page stories are untrue or misrepresentative of the real story. And as pointed out on Tabloid Watch, the last Campervan comp they ran featured a second-hand banger as the prize. Is anything on that front page true? I bet the ‘free’ beauty treatment turns out to be only when you spend £50.