Thank goodness. We can all relax. All is right with the world. Because it's a Monday morning and...
Yes! There she is, Princess Diana, smiling away at some more cooked-up nonsense about her own death. Ah, time was when you were never more than 24 hours away from a new Diana front page at the Express... now we've had to wait a while, but finally, she's back. Even in the lean times, the Express managed to churn out a Diana page on a Monday morning, regardless of whether anything new had been discovered or not (it obviously hadn't), but it has been a while now, hasn't it? Diana Mondays appeared to have gone the way of, well, journalism at the Express.
If the photo accurately represented what Diana's ghost might think of the Express's obsession with her, I think she'd have her head in her hands and be tutting away as if to say "Oh, for fuck's sake. Again? Really? You've found some more shit to stir up? Look, I didn't wear a seatbelt. Otherwise, I'd still be alive, even if a Fiat Uno - the international assassin's vehicle of choice - had caused the crash, even if Henri Paul hadn't been drunk, even if there was a massive conspiracy, even if they used a different body for his blood sample... I'D STILL BE ALIVE if I'd worn a seatbelt... don't you get it?"
Lovely to see her back, though. I had worried that the Express had a new policy of not mentioning the latest crazy theories about Diana's death, out of some sort of respect for the dead or something (!), or because they felt that, you know, all the other stories they'd done hadn't ever achieved anything of any note at all, and that furthermore their bizarre fixation with conspiracy theories surrounding her death had, in many people's eyes, lowered the Express as a newspaper and a trustworthy source of information.
But apparently not. Full steam ahead! More Diana! More conspiracy theories! Diana Mondays are back!