So, here it is. I've been writing this for a good couple of years, and it's been fun. There are about 10 times more people reading this blog now than there were a year ago, which is quite something.
But I'm kind of at a bit of a crossroads with this, and with everything else at the moment. I won't bore you with personal shit and I'll try not to sound wanky, but I really don't know where any of this is going.
I think if I keep this going, I might need to expand the scope of it a bit. I like being a so-called 'political' blog but that way lies dragons - or, more precisely, trolls. I don't know how much happiness there is for me in endlessly debating "Yes it is" and "No it isn't" below blog posts for the rest of my natural life. It's a thought that fills me with dread and sadness, because I don't really enjoy that at all, I might as well tell you.
Not that I don't appreciate feedback, as of course I do - but I look at the more successful political blogs, particularly on the left, and how they become basically battlegrounds for the kinds of arseholes I despise most of all in the world. I don't know if I have the will to deal with all that here, if this became a more successful 'political' blog. I don't know if I could. I do this in my spare time as it is, and it's got to the stage where it's a bit wearying seeing dozens of comments to be looked at and moderated - which is the only way to do it, in my opinion, as I'd never want to do the 'see no evil' business, as I regard it as essentially deceitful.
Sorry. I said I was going to try and make sure this didn't sound wanky, but it sounds wanky already. No point trying to correct that, though, so I'll just plough on through this...
What I'm trying to say, I think, is that I don't know where to take this. I think it's important to try and address the misdirection and distortion of things you read in the papers and online, but there are a lot of other people who do that. I kind of want to write other stuff, and I hope that's all right with you. I don't know why I'm even asking, I should just do it. But I don't know.
The thing is, in my 'real life', it turns out that I have no skills or experience which are of any interest to potential employers and that I am doomed to remain in my existing job, which I find somewhat tedious and unfulfilling, until I get made redundant, or lose the will to live, whichever comes first. I won't bore you with a tale of woe and I'm not looking for sympathy. Don't feel sorry for me. Because here, writing this, I have found something which I enjoy, and which other people actually seem to like me doing. Here, I don't get judged for decisions I took 15 years ago or what university I went to; here, I either write something good and you like it, or write something shit - like this - and you don't. I rather like that because it seems like a level playing field. It seems the only place where there is one.
So, the thing with this blog is, I do love it. And I want it to be more successful so that there's that the ever-dwindling possibility that I might ever be able to write things for a living doesn't disappear down the toilet altogether, I might want to write about more things than just tabloid bollocks, and politics. It's not that I won't do those things any more, I just won't do them as often. Less often, but better, maybe.
And I know the layout isn't very good, and I have no way of rectifying that really, because I have no skills in designing things like this, so my efforts are fairly poor. So you'll have to bear with me on that until I can learn to make it better. But I will, eventually, make it look a little less amateurish, even if I can't make it read that way.
If you've made it this far, thanks. If you have any suggestions or ideas as to where I can take this or what I can do, then you can email me at the address at the top of the page and let me know. Normal service will be resumed later.
No related posts.