Sometimes you know something's wrong, but you can't work out what. I've been feeling that way over the past few months when looking at the front page of the Daily Express. Yes, there have been lies about immigration. Yes, there have been pointless stories boosting OK! magazine. Yes, there have been dreadful health stories about what does and doesn't cause cancer this minute.
But something was missing. Or rather, someone. Time was when you couldn't walk past a newsagents or those clear plastic bins outside petrol stations without seeing some utter gumph about the supposed conspiracy to kill Our Queen Of Hearts by
making her chauffeur get really pissed and then drive into a concrete post a mysterious Fiat Uno - the car of choice for all shadowy international assassins - using a creepy Scooby-Doo-style weapon that made the crash occur.
It's been so quiet on that front lately, and regrettably so. So imagine my delight when I saw yesterday's Express!
Hooray! Diana at last. Diana's back on the front of the Express, where she belongs, alongside a new cockamamey theory about why she died and how it was all some big conspiracy. All is right with the world and we can relax safe in the knowledge that everything is in place. It's reassuring seeing Diana on the front of the Express - you can breathe a sigh of relief and think to yourself: well, whatever else happens, they're still peddling that strand of utter bollocks.
Ironically enough, of course, the picture shows her putting on a seatbelt, which would have saved her life on that fateful night - scary Fiat Uno or not - had she remembered to do it.