After Melanie McDonagh's sparkling piece of dog-whistle-free straight racism in the Telegraph the other day, you can imagine the Mail were rather pissed off that someone had already stolen their thunder - someone else had already said all the things they were going to say, about the high birth rate being something to be scared about, because it's dirty foreigners, blacks and poor people giving birth, not nice middle-class white folk.
Not to worry, though: they simply ordered Amanda Platell to write the same shit out for them. Which she duly did, albeit in slightly more veiled terms. Like McDonagh, she's an immigrant, but like McDonagh, she doesn't see herself as being a bad immigrant (I mean, she's white after all!) and yet feels she's allowed to slag off all other immigrants.
Sadly, though, it is not the indigenous middle-class, hard-working, tax-paying population that's exploding.
Indigenous! There we have it - the word of choice used by racists everywhere, the word so beloved of the BNP. But Amanda, you're not indigenous to Britain. You're an immigrant yourself. Should you fuck off with the rest of them, then? Should you not be allowed to procreate then, given that you're not 'indigenous'? Or are you trying to make another point, attempting to use the word 'indigenous' to mean 'white'?
Look at the beautiful construction of that sentence, though. If you're indigenous, you're middle class. If you're middle-class you're hard-working, and you pay your tax. Therefore, if you're not middle-class or indigenous... well it stands to reason, doesn't it? And is the population really 'exploding'? Is a rise of one per cent an explosion? It is to Platell.
It's not just the foreigns who come under fire from this, er, foreigner. It's those bloody teenage mums as well - although Amanda's a little confused as to how many there might be. Doesn't mean she's not allowed to slag them off, though!
So who are these younger mothers? It stands to reason that many of them must be teenagers.
Ah, here we go. Teenage leeches sucking at the tit of the welfare state - evil!
How many of them are married or even have their children's father around? How many have jobs or are supported by someone who does? How many live off benefits?
Dunno, why don't you do some fucking research about it? You're writing for a newspaper - how about doing the amazingly shocking thing of, oh I don't know, checking your facts before you spout off about them? No? Oh no, of course not, this is the Mail, isn't it. Silly me.
My other worry is this: how many immigrant mums have contributed anything to this country before landing us with another child to educate in our already struggling schools?
Again, you could actually find out for yourself rather than just trying to scare people. Platell also mentions 'soaring immigration' - migration that is actually decreasing year on year? Couldn't be bothered to find that out? Or knew it anyway but couldn't give a shit?