Following on from the Mail's huge journalistic endeavours in the wake of the Guardian phone-hacking story, today the Telegraph has weighed in with its own contribution. It's a magnificent piece which really demonstrates their commitment to quality investigative reportage.
Oh no, hang on, it's a story about some dick seeing Michael Jackson's face in a fucking car bonnet.
Surely not, you say? But here it is.
A builder was stunned when he discovered a ghostly image of Michael Jackson on his car bonnet.
It appeared to show that the 'King of Pop' had made a swift ascent to the heavens after his death.
Yes, he Beat It up to heaven and now looks down as a fucking scary noseless disembodied giant head with eyes like pissholes in the snow, reflected in some Stafford fucking builder's Rover bonnet. Yes, because that's what recently dead pop stars do. They turn up in one bloke's car bonnet. That is the mystery of the afterlife right there.
No, I'll tell you what it shows. It shows that things like exposing the way in which British taxpayers - ie everyone except the Barclay Brothers - were being ripped off by MPs are the exception, rather than the rule. It shows how this kind of witless gurning chumpery gets promoted above any kind of decent news coverage. It shows the lack of imagination in modern newspapers and why they are rightly dying. I'm only sorry to link to the fucking thing because the two or three people who go from here to there almost perpetuates the idea that utter crap like that is in any way, shape or form a good idea.
Photoshopped or not, it doesn't even fucking look like Michael Jackson, by the way. It looks like Terence or Philip from South Park.