More big stories
Following on from the Mail's huge journalistic endeavours in the wake of the Guardian phone-hacking story, today the Telegraph has weighed in with its own contribution. It's a magnificent piece which really demonstrates their commitment to quality investigative reportage.
Oh no, hang on, it's a story about some dick seeing Michael Jackson's face in a fucking car bonnet.
Surely not, you say? But here it is.
A builder was stunned when he discovered a ghostly image of Michael Jackson on his car bonnet.
It appeared to show that the 'King of Pop' had made a swift ascent to the heavens after his death.
Yes, he Beat It up to heaven and now looks down as a fucking scary noseless disembodied giant head with eyes like pissholes in the snow, reflected in some Stafford fucking builder's Rover bonnet. Yes, because that's what recently dead pop stars do. They turn up in one bloke's car bonnet. That is the mystery of the afterlife right there.
No, I'll tell you what it shows. It shows that things like exposing the way in which British taxpayers - ie everyone except the Barclay Brothers - were being ripped off by MPs are the exception, rather than the rule. It shows how this kind of witless gurning chumpery gets promoted above any kind of decent news coverage. It shows the lack of imagination in modern newspapers and why they are rightly dying. I'm only sorry to link to the fucking thing because the two or three people who go from here to there almost perpetuates the idea that utter crap like that is in any way, shape or form a good idea.
Photoshopped or not, it doesn't even fucking look like Michael Jackson, by the way. It looks like Terence or Philip from South Park.
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Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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July 15th, 2009 - 13:39
Note to Will Lewis: This is what happens when you employ a bunch of piss-poor reject Daily Mail editors. You get the same sub-standard crap they serve up at that loathsome rag.
July 15th, 2009 - 13:42
Funny and disturbing at the same time.
LOOK OVER THERE IT'S MJ'S GHOST!!!
July 15th, 2009 - 15:22
Looks like they've spent their entire 'proper news' budget on those expenses details. All they can afford now is a copy of the 'Sport' each day.
July 19th, 2009 - 04:31
'If you look at the picture for long enough it even looks as if he has got wings.'
Similarly if you really look long and hard enough – and maybe squint a little bit, cocking your head to one side, and viewing it just out of the corner of your eye – The Telegraph almost looks like a real newspaper with real news.