Nostalgia first, and a trip back to 1983 - when Peter Bowles, of all people, was advertising scaffolder-juice Carling Black Label in his cut-glass RP, telling a man who'd recently avoided an encounter with a Su Pollard-alike that he'd 'got it right'. I don't quite know why I'm putting this here, other than it's just simply bizarre.
Astonishingly, Nadine Dorries is still not getting it right either - but is somehow allowed to continue as an MP by David Cameron. If he really wanted to restore the public's faith in our elected politicians he'd do the decent thing and give her the brandy and Luger - though she'd probably drink the Luger and shoot herself with the brandy. Now she says she is refusing to print comments from anyone who 'misinterprets' what she says. The cheek of it! Dorries, meanwhile, is using the 'Withdrawn!' tactic over at her blog, having now hastily taken down a post slagging off a fellow MP which was complete and utter bollocks - but, Dorries being Dorries, is steadfastly refusing to tell us the real reasons why. Perhaps because it was a crock of shit? I quote:
However, the one thing I have learnt over the last few weeks is that in the battlefield of politics, one needs to be absolutely honest AND precise. Nothing less will do.
Hahahahaha! Yes, it's Nadine Dorries saying that!
The Daily Quail profiles Nadine's boss here, with a marvellous look at how the £30m man-of-the-people is like you, only better:
Discussing his 'common man' credentials with The Times, David Cameron seemed flustered and confused, pausing for long periods to imagine what being worth less than £30m might feel like. Asked how many properties he owns, he replied assuredly: 'I own a house in North Kensington...and my house in the constituency in Oxfordshire and that is, as far as I know, all I have.'
Adam Bienkov reports on how Boris is playing hardball with the RMT over their 5 per cent pay demand, while revealing:
Mayor of London in 2007-8 £137,579 Mayor of London in 2009 £143,911 That's a 5 per cent increase.
Ah yes, but, you see, the important thing to remember is, if the plebs get a five per cent rise, that's and will cripple the economy, but if a multimillionaire gets a five per cent rise, then that's only right and proper, isn't it?
Septicisle looks at how the Sun are dealing with the big stories of the day, including how the mother of Baby P has been committing the terrible crime of eating chocolate. Oh noes! Thank goodness for the Sun, giving us the scoop on that one!
Uponnothing reports on how a man who breaks the rules and wastes his allotment space at a time when there's a huge demand for it is being supported by the Daily Mail, because... well I can't work out the because, actually, but there you go.
Between the Hammer and the Anvil reports on Clive James's fairly shoddy journalism of late, as the saga of the poetry nonsense at Oxford rumbles on. Call me a thick prole if you like but I couldn't give a shit who's head of poetry at Oxford. I couldn't care less. All I'd like is for it not to be James, given the content of that abysmal tripe.
Meanwhile, my local paper has finally woken up to the 'Polish Spitfire' BNP story that everyone else in the country could have read, oh, months ago if they'd known where to look. Still, better late than never. And at least they got it right.
Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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