Enemies of Reason Poundshop potshots at the media moral maze.

The Mail and Gemma Arterton. And pants.

(or Whoops! they did it again)

Whoops!

It's the kind of thing you say when you drop a fondant fancy down the back of the settee, isn't it? Whoops! It implies a kind of, oh I don't know, accidental quality, as if you didn't really intend to do the thing you just did, but that you're trying to make light of it.

For example, let's say you had a giant camera - a really enormous camera - and you hung around waiting for famous women to get out of cars, and when they did get out of those cars, you pointed that enormous camera at them in the hope of photographing their pants - or maybe even their genitalia - and then you took a photo of their crotch, and you could see their pants... let's say you did all that. Could you really consider that accidental, would you think? Could you really say "Whoops!"

Whoops! Gemma Arterton lets slip that she wears control pants with inelegant exit from car

Whoops! The Mail accidentally, unintentionally, serendipitously as it turns out, got a photo of Gemma Arterton getting out of a car - the kind of 'upskirt' business that used to be regarded by Fleet Street as somewhat, oh I don't know, downmarket. But that kind of quality control has long since gone down the toilet. Have we got pictures of some celebrity's snatch? Hooray! That fits in with our Daily Mail brand values as a family newspaper.

As a size ten and proud of it, Gemma Arterton has long said she sees no need to play the showbusiness weight game.
But it looks like her refusal to give in to the image police only stretches so far.
The 23-year-old James Bond actress has joined the likes of Kylie Minogue and Gwyneth Paltrow by getting a little extra help with her curves - courtesy of Spanx control pants.

Arterton... Arterton... name rings a bell. Where have I heard that name before?

Maybe Gemma who recently ended a six-month romance with her Spanish stuntman boyfriend, has been consoling herself in the time honoured fashion - with a comforting tub of ice-cream or two.

Oh, it's coming back.

The 22-year-old actress appeared at the Orange British Academy Film Award nominations looking distinctly jowly, as she posed up before making the announcements.

Ah yes. She may be 'size 10 and proud of it', but unfortunately the Mail aren't proud of her. Katie Nicholl at the Mail did say

There were catty comments after a snap appeared of Gemma Arterton sporting a double chin but, as befits a Bond Girl, the stunning 23-year-old actress has come out fighting.

failing to mention that the 'catty comments' in question came from her one of her own colleagues... but having decided Arterton was too chubby, then 'You go girl!', the Mail is back in the 'Fatty' camp for this latest article, declaring:

The pants, which sell for between £20 and £50 a pair, hold in the bottom, thighs and stomach and, in normal circumstances, are virtually undetectable.
On this occasion, however, their supporting role was hard to miss as Miss Arterton made a rather clumsy exit from her car as she arrived at a Missoni fashion party in London.

How "clumsy" of her, to have expected someone not to have taken a photo of her arse while she's getting out of a car!

A bit odd, though, that the Mail should clutch the pearls and look down the pince-nez at Arterton for wearing pants, seeing as they've written rather favourably about them in the past. The Mail called them 'a godsend for the pear-shaped British woman' and even offered a guide to the 'best invisible knickers'. Surely not a bad thing, then? Ah, but while Mail readers are allowed to use such items, celebrities, it seems, are not, as we saw when Lily Allen dared to purchase the undies herself:

The 23-year-old singer was spotted driving away from celebrity restaurant Nobu dressed in a sleek black dress, and a pair of Spanx control stockings in the back seat.
The body forming stockings and control pants, which sell for between £20 and £50, hold in the bottom, thighs and stomach are are virtually undetectable.

'Virtually undetectable', that is, unless there's some bastard with a camera taking photos of you all the time so that some witless drone at a keyboard at Northcliffe Towers can take the piss out of you. The Mail never mentions that in all its stories about 'magic knickers', does it?

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