Look, I'll not beat around the bush here. Comic Relief - great charity and I'm sure it does loads of good things. I've even bought a t-shirt this year.
But a load of celebrities trundling up Mount Kilimanjaro? In silly big sunglasses? Looking like a bunch of wankers? What on earth's going to make me want to support them all the way to the top...? What's going to make me want even Moyles to make it up there alive...?
Yes, it's the Mail:
If Cheryl Cole makes it up Killer-manjaro, I'll eat Chris Moyles' bush hat, says POLLY GRAHAM
Come on Cheryl! Don't do it for the charity; don't do it for the glory; don't do it for the sense of satisfaction. Just do it so that dumbass Polly Graham can be proved wrong.