Let me just remind you of ITV's coverage of football down the years. Because it didn't suddenly become shit last night.
- Brian Moore growling "Now, what sort of cross...? Wurrrrrrghhharrrrrrrghhh! It's a guuuuuuuuuuuurdwwaaaaaaan and it's intherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!".
- Andy Townsend's Tactics Truck.
- A confused-looking Gazza in Trafalgar Square surrounded by pissed idiots spraying cans of lager.
- Greavsie's t-shirts during the 1990 World Cup - I particularly remember "Let the Bull loose", a plea for Steve Bull to rescue England's hopes in the tournament.
- Mick Channon and "the boy Line-acre" in Mexico 86.
- Robbie Earle and some other useless shouting cunt (might have been Townsend) standing at a table in front of the pitch before Champions League games, having a competition to see who could say "I tell you what Des/Steve" the most times.
- I don't want to labour the point, but Townsend's Tactics Truck. At least Match of the Day realised "The Brooking Brief" was a pile of wank and cancelled it after a solitary outing.
- David Pleat as summariser. Sounds like a chartered accountant from Bracknell talking about a council meeting, but without the passion.
- "The Premiership".
- Thinking that Sam Allardyce is going to say anything good/interesting ever.
- Going to an ad break just before kickoff, let alone in the middle of extra-time.
- The Match, or as it came to be known, "Liverpool v".
- Townsend's Tactics Truck.
- Keggy Keegle: "There's only one side gonna win this now, and that's England."
- Gary Newbon, touchline reporter. "Well, the mood on the bench here is, as you'd expect..."
- Clive Tyldesley: "This, er, reminds me, haha, of a certain balmy night in Barcelona..."
Yet still, somehow, they are allowed to screen our national game.