No, literally. And I do love the way that the world's favourite daily dose of "Ooh the chattering classes have been allowing their children to touch a lady's ankle from as young as 27" should mix that uptight sexual stuffiness with foamingly prurient shots of women's crotches.
Exhibit A: Here's Signourney Weaver opening her legs on the telly. You could only see it for a brief moment on the telly, but luckily enough for Mail readers - who of course are very interested in such matters - they've taken a screenshot to show you just how terrible it really was. And then chirped away with a few lines of bollocks beneath:
On the show to promote her new movie Prayers For Bobby, Sigourney unwittingly aped the famous scene in the movie Basic Instinct, in which Sharon Stone's character flashed the police while crossing her legs.
However, unlike Sharon's character in the 1992 film, fortunately Sigourney had underwear on.
'Fortunately we pored over the photos in excruciating detail, and now you can...'
Exhibit B: The Mail answers the big questions:
Whose dancing is the dirtiest? Lady Gaga tries to out-thrust the Pussycat Dolls onstage
Well quite. From a newspaper that snorted at their nemesis the BBC for covering a hamster on the news, this is clearly the kind of highbrow, vital story that needs to be looked at in depth - with accompanying photos, wouldn't you know, of lady's crotches.
Not to be outdone by the 22-year-old New Yorker the headline act were soon kicking and twisting their way around the dancefloor, with Lewis Hamilton's girlfriend Nicole Scherzinger grabbing her crotch as she thrust forwards.
How exciting! And thankfully there are loads and loads and loads of pictures of these women wearing not very much clothing so you can see just how appalling it really is.
Tomorrow: tits or bum? Which one's best?