After that bit of real journalism we had earlier, here's exactly the sort of thing that is obliterating the press in Britain, devaluing the profession of journalism and making a once-respected news source look like a fucking bunch of dribbling sub-GCSE cunts who'd rather be reading Closer than The Economist. I like to call it the 'fuckwitisation of news'.
Anyway, in 'celebrity sightings' we learn these vital bits of information:
- Deborah Harry stands still and has her picture taken. "We don't know who Debbie Harry's surgeon is, but we want his number. Now!..." quips the once-enthusiastic hack tapping away at this load of cock at his or her desk, those dreams of forging a career long since flushed away down the u-bend of churnalism, a little tear of remorse perhaps trickling down their face, unseen by their colleagues, as they continue.
- Kristin Scott Thomas appeared on a TV programme.
- Bob Geldof had dinner with his girlfriend.
- Kate Winslet appeared on a TV programme.
- That boy out of the Harry Potter films (not him, the other one) is appearing in another film soon, and a publicity still has been released to promote it.
- Kelly Brook and Amanda Holden are filming a TV programme.
- The Osbournes have turned up to a party.
- Amy Winehouse has had a go on a trapeze [while taking part in rehab - so thank goodness no-one was there to intrude on this very private moment, apart from the cunt with a big lens lurking in the bushes a few hundred yards away, obviously]
- David Gest and Kerry Katona have appeared on stage toghether.
- Glenn Close has received a star on Hollywood Boulevard.
- Billie Piper went to see a film.
- Matt Dillon and Sarah Jessica Parker went to see a play "...Sarah was quick to cover up a wardrobe malfunction. But not fast enough to prevent Matt Dillon seeing too much and being scarred for life." Astonishing scenes!
- Deborah Harry (again) has appeared on stage.
- Daniel Craig has signed some autographs at a film premiere.
- Roger Moore has been to a bookshop.
- Some other people went to see Daniel Craig's film.
- Michael Phelps has been filming a TV advert. In 'Biejing', apparently.
- Will Smith has been on TV in Spain to promote his latest film.
- Mickey Rourke went to a party.
- Some other people went too.
- Sting turned up to something.
- Delta Goodrem played the piano somewhere.
- Grace Jones was somewhere, singing something.
You can't tell me that's not important. You can? Oh, OK then.