London has cold weather in winter: ARCTIC EVIL WILL KILL US!
For a start, let's get this 'Arctic' shit out of the way. This may be where the slightly-colder-than-normal-for-January weather has come from, but the weather that is happening in London and the rest of the South East, and which is therefore a million times more important than similar weather that has already happened across the rest of our country this winter, is not fucking Arctic conditions.
A real place in the Arctic circle, Fort Yukon for example, is experiencing temperatures of -48 degrees centigrade as we speak. That's slightly chillier than even the hardy souls in That London are having to put up with, braving the horrors of -8.
Poor Auntie Beeb is clutching her pearls with dismay at the thought of so many people in the Home Counties having to defrost the Range Rover that she has devoted a whole article of jabbering nonsense to it:
Forecasters say temperatures could drop to -10C in rural Hampshire and Surrey and Bristol could dip to -6C overnight.
Oh no! The coldest places in Britain are in the sout... oh, hang on:
The mercury dropped to -11C in Aboyne, Aberdeenshire, and in Shap, Cumbria, on Monday night.
Right. I don't remember there being a world of "Eek, we're all gonna freeze to death in blizzard hell" when Scotland and Cumbria experienced worse temperatures than southern England is expecting tonight. But then, of course, it's not news unless it happens somewhere near Our Royal Capital City, is it?
Prize for 'fuckwittery beyond belief' in today's papers, though, must go to the Daily Express, whose nonsensical knuckle-dragging comes in the shape of this piece of shit:
That's right! Because cold weather in a cold country in winter means that there's no such thing as global warming, doesn't it? *bashes tea tray against head* GLOBAL WARMING? WHAT PLANET ARE THEY ON? Er, I dunno, one where the ice sheets are melting? If ever you needed proof the Express is a childish comic written by cunts for cunts, then here it is.
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January 6th, 2009 - 17:37
In 1998, the warmest year on record, I recall a climbing trip in the Cairngorms where the temperature in my tent hit -15c over night. In fact the temperature there hits that kind of chilly more nights than it doesn’t in winter. I wonder what the fuckwits at the Express would have made of that?
January 6th, 2009 - 17:56
And they run the Flatley non-story too! If the national press was badscience picture bingo, this edition of the Express would win the big cash prize.
January 6th, 2009 - 22:18
In 10 years the express might catch up with the fact that no-one talks about global warming anymore. “Climate Change? What planet are they on?” doesn’t really have the same comedy ring to it.
January 7th, 2009 - 12:13
I do like today’s “colder than Antarctica”. Where it’s summer and parts of the continent stretch almost as far away from the South Pole as The Shetlands are from the North Pole.