Friday links 21/11/08: Lolgriffin & happy birthday to me
It's been a funny week since I came back from holiday (which was great, by the way). This blog is now officially, I discover, one year old. A year in which it's been described as 'infantile nonsense', 'having the emotional maturity of a 14-year-old' and 'ranting like a teenage virgin'. Well at least I think we've seen some progression there, then. In another year's time I should be writing like a 20-year-old. I can't wait. Imagine how bloody brilliant it'll be then?
Anyway, the week's had plenty of good stuff to read as I get used to the freezing cold, unfriendly shithole that is England once again. And if you've not seen LolGriffin yet, now's the time to do it. I think it strikes the right note about the BNP twits currently boohooing their way to a hugely ramped up level of media coverage: let's just ignore them if we can, but if we must talk about them, let's at the very least rip the piss.
Why oh why are the BNP so important all of a sudden? Is it because of a crisis in immigration and a looming economic crisis? Not really, it's still a party for cunts and always will be. But it's hardly surprising when you consider the drivel spouted about immigration on an almost daily basis from the mainstream press, people who'd like to pretend they're on a different level to Lolgriffin and chums. They aren't. This week figures revealed that fewer people were leaving the country and immigration was in decline; is that the story we got over the breakfast table? Of course it fucking wasn't. 5cc provides the analysis you need as to why. All of a sudden the idea of 'white flight' has gone very quiet. Could it be because it's a stinking cart full of manure? Who knows.
Another classic tabloid & BNP fable is the idea that somehow multiculturalism is to blame for Christmas not being as Christmassy as it used to be. Eric the Fish looks at the same old toss about 'Xmas is banned oh noes it's the bleedin darkies!' and how it gets spread around by rumour and distortion.
The other plank so beloved of tabloid stories is the rentaquote gob of Taxpayers Alliance, always guaranteed to get you out of a hole when no-one else will chuck you a few words about some shit or other or something or nothing. Brilliantly, via Paulie, I've discovered the alternative Taxpayers Alliance website, a place where you can be cheerful about taxation and its benefits:
The very concept of an alliance of "ordinary taxpayers" is a nonsense. We are all taxpayers and so the TaxPayers' Alliance might as well claim to represent everyone. It in fact claims nearly 20,000 supporters – an impressive enough figure, but one that represents just 0.04% of the adult population in Britain. What about the other 99.96%?
Another tabloid classic is the fear of the unknown, of the contamination of yoot by new technology. Over at the Quail there's a look at the tale about the 'suicide internet teen' who fits neatly into their narrative about teh evils of teh internet. Brilliantly, a contributor on the online site writes: "I long for the days when the internet didn't exist!" - er, OK. But... er... right.
Anyway, as is often the case it's the turn of the BBC to come up with something genuinely innovative. Woolworths is being sold - but why? Tom Geoghegan asks: What's the point of Woolworths? Come off it, man! It's this time of year that Woolies comes into its own! It's a Christmas decorations shop. Or, if your town shops are as abysmally crap as mine, it's the only place you can buy anything at all. Well I say 'anything' but I really mean 'a Toblerone and a sewing kit'. That's my Christmas presents sorted out, anyway.
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November 22nd, 2008 - 17:46
I’m genuinely sad at the demise of Woolies. I grew up in the provincial arse end of nowhere and as Woolworths sold records it was my only link with the outside world.
And I could do my entire Christmas shopping in 20 minutes in one place – bargain bin single for my sister, flowery notepaper for my mum, diary for my dad and a huge box of minty Matchmakers for me nan.
The Woolies in Lyme Regis shut suddenly last month to be replaced by a Tesco Express and it nearly caused a riot. If you’ve ever been to Lyme you’d understand why.
November 22nd, 2008 - 17:48
Oh, and happy birthday by the way. Keep up the sterling work. Treat yourself to a giant tin of Celebrations from Woolies while you still can
November 22nd, 2008 - 21:37
Congrats on your anniversary. This blog is one of my favourite daily visits, and [creepy voice/] I missed you when you went away! [/creepy voice].
November 24th, 2008 - 11:11
Woolies is going down the pan in the UK? It seems to be thriving here in Aussie land, where it seems to be the equivalent of Tesco. We do our weekly food shop at Woolies, and it still freaks me out.