1. Stockbrokers in visible pain:
Courtesy of the wonderful Facebook group, Society for the Appreciation of Pictures of Stockbrokers in Visible Pain.
2. Far-right scumbucket turned into a bloody nonsense by high-speed car crash. "He was our Diana, our Prince of SS-praising foreigner-hating vitriol and generally being a cunt," said one teary onlooker masturbating over a photograph of a dying African baby.
3. An estate agent near me - one of those ones with a flashy fridge full of smoothies, staffed entirely by hairgelled-up 11-year-old pricks with Windsor knots on their footballers' ties and branded fucking cars - is closing down.
So you see, it's not all doom and gloom, is it?