Seriously though. Have you ever seen a worse newspaper front page?
I thought it was a joke at first. It couldn't be... could it?
Richard Desmond once likened his editor to a chef and his publications to a cake - sometimes he could add a little cherry on top, he smarmed.
If this was a cake, it would be a giant dog-turd covered in sick, with scabs instead of sprinkles and jism for icing. And instead of a cherry, there's a splattered pigeon scraped up off the road and chucked on the top.
I mean, look at the fucking thing:
Have you ever seen worse than this? Let me know if you have, because I need to see it.
Oh, and the story itself is a load of bullshit peppered with quotes from the usual astroturf groups to justify something that isn't even going to happen but that the spectral 'they' are plotting to do to 'your lawn'. But you knew that already, I reckon.
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Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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September 10th, 2008 - 03:09
The “10p cheaper than The Daily Mail” bit is just icing on the cake. There are no words.
September 10th, 2008 - 10:08
(I didn’t buy the Express, of course) – What actually was the story behind the front page headline?
September 10th, 2008 - 10:21
Does Chris Morris secretly write the Daily Express?
September 10th, 2008 - 11:23
Does the injection only work on fat people? If so, where does it draw the line between skinny/average/fat/obese?
I’ve heard they’re going to ban the traditional British cup of tea before bedtime, now. In fact, that gives me an idea…
September 10th, 2008 - 12:17
Ah, I found it. Telegraph.
Looks like one of these reports that are actually just some out-there suggestions someone’s throwing around.
September 10th, 2008 - 15:44
“Injection that tells fat people when they’re full”.
I have one of them. It’s administered orally and called “a meal”.
September 10th, 2008 - 17:31
Think this has anything to do with it?
More than 80 jobs to go in Express cull
Maybe the front pages will get even more cack handed than this. Is that even possible?
September 13th, 2008 - 19:35
Nice to see another Mailwatchy blog out there.
I have become a bit obsessed with Express covers over on my Facebook recently. I never know what shite to expect next…