Enemies of Reason Poundshop potshots at the media moral maze.

Pffffffffft

Yes, I can confirm by looking out of my window that it is, indeed, raining water from the sky. As I whined yesterday, this is pretty small beer compared to huge weather events that have struck other less newsworthy continents in recent times. As I bleated the other day, weather stories are also a haven for the Littlejohnian logical fuckwittery of "it's raining - therefore there's no such thing as climate change!". We've also seen this week how Mail readers can blame Haggis McBastard for literally everything and anything in the world - including murder, to the extent where you really have to wonder if any comment with 'Gordon Brown did it' just gets let through the moderators.

So, as the sky tumbles down this slate-grey morning, let's enjoy some of the wise views on the weather pouring in like so much rainwater to the website of Britain's most laughable newspaper:

When oh when will Al Gore's promise of global warming, hotter and dryer summers for Britain ever start to happen.
- Robert G., Rockville, USA, 4/9/2008 12:17

Is that what he 'promised'? But yes, full marks for 'rain = no climate change ever so there'.

Not only do us Scots get tax cuts, free medicine, free care for the elderly and no bridge tolls - we're going to get some sunshine this weekend as well - while the rest of Britain is inundated. Unlucky England!
- Scott Wilson, Aberfeldy, Scotland, 4/9/2008 12:44

Ha ha. I'd forgotten one other thing about weather threads; they attract a lot of schadenfreude from people who live in hot countries - or Scotland, if it's not raining there for once.

Sunshine + 18*....and this is only the start of early Spring......come on down !!
- John Clague, Melbourne Australia, 4/9/2008 13:07

Especially Australians.

I was under the impression that as global warming increases, we in the British Isles get more rain and therefore wetter. Not the warmer and drier business for us, only for others.
- En, England UK, 4/9/2008 14:31

Bloody hell. How did that comment get through? And...

Robert G. it'll be in about 50 years time, but by then you won't be with us, so everyone will be happy. If you want to keep denying that the earth is now warmer than it was 30 years ago, then fine by me, but I don't want to find you on my subtropical island when the sealevel rises...
- Rob Overfield, West London, 4/9/2008 14:59

Heh.

Al Gore's promise of global warming will happen when he acknowledges his personal carbon footprint at his vast house. You believe anything that 'Al I invented the Internet Gore' says? Dan Quayle may have been a liability to the Republicans, but Gore took stupidity to a new high for the Democrats.
- Al, St.Petersburg, Florida, USA, 4/9/2008 15:26

Come off it Al, we all know that Iain Dale invented the internet, not Al Gore.

I blame Grodon Brown
- Shell, Derby, 4/9/2008 15:31

See, other people may spend literally minutes of their time composing considered, articulate and thoughtful responses to the matter at hand. Whereas if you simply write "I blame Gordon Brown", so badly that you mis-spell one out of the four words you've written - and it's a person's name, for fuck's sake - then you get allowed through. But surely it's just a parody? And if so, what are the Mail mods saying - is it a cry for help? I imagine some poor bastard sat there having to let through all the Gordon Brown comments at gunpoint, trying to let the world know what he's going through.

Where is this global warming ?
- Gavin, London, UK, 4/9/2008 15:37

Everywhere. Hence why there's shitloads of rain about. You fucking tool. But see again the skills required to get a comment past the Mail moderators - just say something fucking pointless and reactionary, in five words or fewer, and that'll do nicely.

I am sure that there are worst things going on in in the world other than our weather!!
This horible weather makes me want to cook a stew.
- Toffee Bunny, Swanley, Kent, UK, 4/9/2008 15:50

Riiiiiight.

Well here in Canada we are still enjoying 30-35 deg . hot summer days....
- Vikki, Toronto Canada, 4/9/2008 16:22

Bully for you. Do I look like I give a fuck?

So what is new about the British weather? This deep depresion is the work of NuLiarbour messing with the worsening economy and trying to put it right, before it finally destroys them.
- John L. Rodwell, Rye, U.K., 4/9/2008 16:24

There we are, back on form, beautifully crafted post there. Bit of blaming Labour, bit of everything there.

This is what years of New Labour gets us. We should send the rain into the National Service, I say.
- Darny, ex-pat, Florida, 4/9/2008 16:47

World-class pisstaking there (at least I hope it is). Just the sort of thing Mail commenters would say.

I am surprised no one has tried to blame the government for the weather, it must be someones fault !
- Mark, Gillingham, Kent, 4/9/2008 17:39

Oh but they have Mark, they have. No-one's blame the Olympics yet... oh.

I blame the Olympics, what a massive, overall, (accepted and encouraged by governments) uncontrolled carbon footprint. It must have had a significant effect on our climate. Meanwhile we sit at home in the faint glow of energy efficient bulbs to try and save the planet!
We were told that global warming would cause hot dry conditions during our summers followed by wet winters...have the 'experts' got it wrong again?
- Barry, Bracknell, 4/9/2008 18:36

Maybe, Barry. Maybe it'll be wet all the fucking time. Hooray!

gordon brown's fault
- anon, london, 4/9/2008 19:37

It's like there's a challenge going to get as many 'Gordon Brown's fault' into these stories as possible. Just a three-word comment deemed acceptable there by the Mail mods; they couldn't even be bothered to capitalise their words, or tell us who they are - but it's a Brown comment, so it gets straight through!

Still, no-one's blamed health and safety yet... oh.

I blame Labour for making the rain a health and safety issue. Can't wait for an inch of snow.
- A.H., London, 4/9/2008 20:06

Heh. And the final word to this commenter:

Give you all something more to moan about, thus you should be all happier as it could be worse
- Paul, Stockholm, 4/9/2008 22:18

It could indeed. Right, I'm off venturing out in it. I blame NULIARBORE! Where's the global warming, Mr Gore?!??!?!

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