Express questions slip seamlessly into self-parody
Here's a little poser for you - no cheating, now! Which one of these questions on the Daily Express 'Have Your Say' site have I made up?
- Should bumbling Darling be kicked out of office?
- Should Labour be ashamed of wrecking this once great country?
- Do you trust police to come to your rescue when you dial 999?
- Are you fed-up with bureacrats interfering in your life?
- Should Sarkozy be allowed to grab our heroic team's medals?
- Can we trust our Government to keep anything safe?
A trick question, of course. They're all up there. I think 'Should Labour be ashamed of wrecking this once great country?' is an all-time classic. Not much of a leading question is it, seeing as it assumes (a) that this country was once great and (b) that Labour has wrecked it; the only matter for debate, then, is whether Labour should be ashamed for wrecking it, to which I say "ZANULAB has no SHAIM! The once great country has been SOLD DOWN THE RIVER to our EU MASTERS in Brussells and we give money to Africa and black people and that", or at least I imagine I would do, were I the sort of bizarre individual who patrols these messageboards.
Let's look at the full text of the astonishing question:
ACCORDING to a leaked Home Office memo to Gordon Brown, Britain faces an explosion of violent crime and illegal immigration sparked by Labour’s economic crisis.
Violent attacks are set to soar by up to a fifth in a growing climate of disorder on the streets, the Prime Minister has been warned.
Smuggling is tipped to rise significantly and unscrupulous employers are expected to turn increasingly to illegal foreign workers to cut costs.
Ministers are also being warned of potential inter-racial strife, an upsurge in racist extremism and even terrorism as community relations come under strain in difficult economic times.
DID THE CONTENTS OF THIS LEAKED WARNING COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU?
SHOULD OUR GOVERNMENT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR RUINING 'GREAT' BRITAIN?
HAVE YOUR SAY NOW!
Inaccurate, misleading and shit. Superb! Why will Britain face an 'explosion of illegal immigration' due to an economic crisis that's due to Labour? Why would people want to come here if Labour have wrecked the country? Oh yes, I forgot, because BRITTAIN IS A SOFT TUCH, GOOD HERE ISN'T IT>?!??!?!??!!??!!? Employers could always, you know, not employ illegal immigrants if they don't want to break the law - but of course, blame the immigrants, not the employers.
And if there's any 'inter-racial strife' to be had it will have been stoked up by lying bastards such as the scumbags who work at the Express, and their racist friends. Why is being poor an excuse for racism? I just don't understand.
Anyway, below is a marvellous comment found on the thread, which is pretty tough reading. But you get moments of magic, and here's one of them:
Expect much more of the bile and poison to spout forth , i refer to a posting made by me weeks ago .
Reference one Prime Minister Brown " close to death " on a trip to Afghanistan ! the original " Lie" included a Rocket attack on the Prime Minister ! but too many people got wind of the Lie , so it was left to lie for a while , and now it has been turned into two persons in " possesion of a rifle !
It was complete twaddle two Months ago , and its complete twaddle now .
It will not stop the Lie Doctors trying though ! expect much , much more " twaddle" in the next 20 Months , as the Months wittle away , the more ridiculous the insane lies will become !
More frightening is the amount of people who are taken in by all this " Twaddle"
Eh?
Related posts:
- Do you think bastards at the Daily Express phrase questions in their Have Your Say section in order to provoke a particular kind of response?
- This week’s neutral and balanced list of Express Have Your Say questions
- Inside the mind of the Express
- Beyond parody
- Does writing for the Express make you an idiot?
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September 2nd, 2008 - 22:08
Yes, you do have to wonder why, when this country is so badly wrecked, all these nasty foreigners want to come here.
Oh, hang on, I remember – it’s because we pay them a fortune in benefits and give them free cars and houses.
You see, there is a logic to their madness.