It's football transfer deadline day, and the Beeb's transfer live text updates are well worth following. Marvellous stuff to watch the drama unfolding, with some delightfully sardonic asides from the humble narrator:
0926: "Hi Paul, I am currently working in Madrid. Guess who I just saw?! Yes, that's right. Ronaldo! Walking past with a couple of young others, please explain! A s a die hard Man Utd fan my love for him is turning!"
Ed, in the sun, via text on 81111
Lovely touch. A key element of the fabricated transfer deadline day story is to establish credibility. Ed, I feel, has done this quite effectively by pointing that he works in Madrid and thus has genuine reason to be in the Spanish capital. As for the rest of his tale...
Marvellous to see that someone in the world - one lone voice of sanity amid all the frenzied speculation and "I understand" bollocks written in the papers - reckons that 99 per cent of it's just a pack of lies. At last! A half-decent approach to football transfers.
1009: "My mate Phil is a Cabbie in Liverpool City Centre and a season ticket holder at Anfield. He has it on very strong word that Rafa Benitez will sign a cut price Michael Owen as cover for the injured Fernando Torres. Welcome back to the prodigal Son."
Gavin, Ellesmere Port, via text on 81111
I was wondering when a cabbie would crop up. Transfer deadline day literally would not work without them. Literally.
That's gold. Well, for those of us who follow clubs who are more likely to bring in Ronnie Corbett than Ronaldinho, it takes away that faint disappointment of realising that it's another long slog into obscurity ahead...