Enemies of Reason Poundshop potshots at the media moral maze.

Tough interviews of the world

1. Phil Neal

Phil Neal : I'd rather forget that night. It was an ordeal. But, Jamie,
why should I help you out? I'm helping you pay your mortgage [by talking
to you about Heysel]. When people ask me for my view, they usually have
to pay for it. You're asking for my help for nothing. To pay your
mortgage, Jamie. I mean, what do you want from me?

The Observer : I just thought that as the captain of Liverpool football
club on that night at Heysel it would be good to hear your view?

Phil Neal : Yes but what do you want from me? If I talk to you for a few
minutes, then I'm helping you pay your mortgage and what am I getting in
return? Do you know what I mean?

The Observer : Well, I have been to Italy and talked with some of the
families of the victims and they say that the trophy should be given
back by Juventus to commemorate what happened.

Phil Neal : About Juventus? Why are you asking me? Why are you asking
someone on the Liverpool side? Juventus made amends very soon. Ask them
.... Jamie I'm helping you pay your mortgage. People who want my views
pay.

2. Lou Reed

"...After 15 seconds we thought: 'What an amazing voice'. Now, typical of you as an interviewer to say something as cheap as 'Oh, he looks like somebody who could have been around the Factory,' as opposed to, 'What a great voice'."

"I was going to come to that."

"Well, you could have started there."

"You never gave me a chance. Why are you so aggressive to me? What have I done to you? Why are you being so horrible?"

"I'm just pointing things out to you."

I'm lost for words. "I used to buy your records," I say pathetically.

"You used to."

"Are you really this aggressive in real life?"

"Didn't we just go through this? OK, fuck, you don't want to talk about music. ' Antony is someone who could have been in the Factory ,'" he mocks. "You don't say what a beautiful voice, my God!"

"Have I got to sit here and fawn to you? I was going to say he could be in the Factory because he's an original and his voice is stunning and ghostly. But you didn't listen long enough before attacking me."

"I didn't attack you. As attacks go, that is pretty mild. Come on! Come on ! Stop! Who you kidding?"

I ask him if he's happy. Listening to his bile, I can't help thinking this is one unhappy man. I apologise for the personal question.

"Jesus Christ!"

3. John McCain - in an interview published today...

Q: There’s a theme that recurs in your books and your speeches, both about putting country first but also about honor. I wonder if you could define honor for us?
A: Read it in my books.

Q: I’ve read your books.
A: No, I’m not going to define it.

Q: But honor in politics?
A: I defined it in five books. Read my books.

Q: [Your] campaign today is more disciplined, more traditional, more aggressive. From your point of view, why the change?
A: I will do as much as we possibly can do to provide as much access to the press as possible.

Q: But beyond the press, sir, just in terms of …
A: I think we’re running a fine campaign, and this is where we are.

Q: Do you miss the old way of doing it?
A: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

There are some times when I really do feel sorry for journalists...

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