I try not to bother with Melanie Phillips, but this is priceless. Mad Mel has a theory - or does she? - about why secret documents have been left on trains.
Is it not even stranger that this just happened to occur on the day before the crucial Commons vote on the 42-day terrorist detention limit - with a major argument against that limit being that the security world was too incompetent to be trusted with any more powers?
What? Someone might be deliberately jeopardising the security of the nation in order to try and swing a few MPs around to voting against 42-day punishment without trial, hoping that the security services looking rubbish will make people think that that's a good enough reason not to detain people for longer? What? I mean, what? What? The? Fuck? Is there anyone - anyone in the world - who actually understands this?
Is it not an even more remarkable coincidence that, on the very day that the counter-terrorism world was transfixed with horror at the revelation of this breakdown in basic security procedures, yet another batch of sensitive material was being mislaid on yet another Waterloo train?
No, not really. Just a coincidence, I'm guessing.
Watch this handbrake turn, though: it's one of the finest you'll ever see in journalism ever. So shameless, so brilliant.
So could all these documents have been left on these trains deliberately? Frankly, that idea stretches credulity. Leaving files lying around on trains leaves far too much to chance. Yes, in theory the officials concerned might have been hand-in-glove with the passengers who handed in this material; but such suggestions surely belong to the realm of spy fiction.
Mel likes having her cake and eating it, doesn't she? She gets to spout the most bonkers nut-nut conspiracy theory bollocks, but then pretend that she doesn't really believe it after all. Well if you didn't believe it, then why say it in the first place?