It's day one of the Lord's Test match. Is it? How the hell did I miss all that?
Maybe because all the fucking cricket in the world is on Sky and those of us who don't want to financially rape ourselves with a cactus every month for the privilege of Gladiators, the Simpsons, Ross Kemp in an army helmet and other assorted sub-standard bollocks never get to find out about it.
Oh, that is depressing.