...and her husband's some kind of politician or something.
The BBC story leaves you in no doubt as to the importance of Mrs Sarkozy's arrival in Britain. But why all the coverage? State visits don't usually get this much interest - I have the misfortune to be able to see a TV with News 24 on it from where I've been sitting, and they've been following the exciting events all day long. First, the Sarkozys managed to walk down some stairs unaided as they got off a plane. Then, they got into a car, and now, they've walked around a bit and shaken some hands. The man-Sarkozy is talking now, about something or other, who cares what?
This being a royal story, it's chock-full of the usual garden paths:
Mr Sarkozy is being accompanied by Ms Bruni - the supermodel-turned-singer who he married last month - and his mother-in-law.
Ooh really? Thank Christ I know that.
They were met at Heathrow by Prince Charles, who kissed Ms Bruni's hand, and his wife, the Duchess of Cornwall.
After the short journey to Windsor the French president inspected the guard of honour with the Duke of Edinburgh, while Ms Bruni, dressed in a sober grey coat and Jackie Kennedy-style hat, chatted with the Queen.
Royal stories always contain a shitty 'what someone wore' load of cobblers. Why? It dates back to the days before colour photos in newspapers and has no relevance to the modern era. People can see what people are wearing, using their eyes; modern readers really are a little bit more sophisticated than they're given credit for, on the whole.
The Hate also documents Mrs Sarkozy's arrival in Britain, focusing on a nude picture of her:
It's not the look you would normally associate with a First Lady.
Thank Christ for that. I still have to inject my brain with bleach every time I recall Bill Hicks's skit about Barbara Bush.
So the new Mrs Nicolas Sarkozy - former model Carla Bruni - is understandably furious that a nude photo of her went on sale on the eve of her State visit to Britain with her husband.
Is that real fury or Mail 'fury'? Anyway, in order to expose its readers to the full horror of the naked Mrs Sarkozy, the Mail have helpfully reproduced the photo themselves. Apparently in full knowledge that it makes the subject of the photo 'furious'. See. They really couldn't give a shit.
I couldn't post this without quoting this magical comment at the bottom of the story, which for me sums up Mailites perfectly:
She's got nasty feet!
Yeah, she's got nasty feet! The cow!