And… they’re off
Corinne Bailey Rae's husband is dead. That's a starting pistol to the Mail. Bang! Like Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar, they're humming The Devil's Gallop and bursting into action to try and piss on his grave before he's even in it.
Seven hours ago came the first report. But already the Hate has managed a quick character assassination.
Singer Corinne Bailey Rae's 'hard-partying' husband dies of suspected drugs overdose
Don't call the coroner; forget the pathologist's report. Just stick him in the ground. The all-seeing, all-knowing Mail know what happened! I think 'hard-partying' is code for 'took loads of drugs - and we can say what we like, because he's dead!', though I could be wrong.
According to friends, Mr Rae, 31, was known to have addiction problems.
"He partied a lot and had struggled with drugs for years," said one.
How apt on Easter weekend that someone's friend should betray them for a few pieces of silver. These old Bible myths resonate even today, don't they?
'Struggled with drugs' is a bit odd when you combine it with 'partied a lot'. Did he enjoy it or not? Or couldn't he make up his mind?
Mr Rae, who was found dead on Saturday afternoon, played the saxophone and was due to perform with his jazz band, the Haggis Horns - who have worked as a backing act for Amy Winehouse - last night.
His 29-year-old wife maintains a clean-cut image that is rare in the music industry.
Do you hear that? It's the sound of the Mail sticking the boot in. Guilt by association. How long before we get the "I saw Corinne's husband taking drugs, she must have known!" stories? Hmm, probably a few hours, I'd say.
A post-mortem examination proved inconclusive
What?! But the Mail already know!
Bailey Rae's record label said in a statement: "EMI Records would like to offer its sincere condolences to Corinne Bailey Rae and the Rae family at this tragic time.
"We ask that the media respects Corinne's privacy and that of her entire family."
That's a forlorn hope. I imagine there's a journalist right now who's read that exact quote, on the phone to Bailey Rae's friends and family, trying to get quotes out of them 'at this tragic time' so they can 'pay tribute'.
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